how often do you call the girl u are dating/wanna be called

[Dating Coach]

Don't make this mistake of seeing what you want to see though. Remember, if she wants to be with you, she would be.

 

Go talk to this girl of yours, see what she has to say.

[annie24]

definitely - just ask her straight out. "Do you want to date me?" If yes, then great! If not, then you have the info that you need to move on.

 

Nothing wrong with being direct.

[Beec]

I wish that I could find it amusing that someone who does not have a relationship, seems to have never had a girlfriend, and seems to have little hope of having one in he near future, has the hutzpa to give relationship advice. I wonder what kind of experience allows someone like this to give advice on something they have not seen,have not been in, and when they got to where they thought they were close, oh well, it was not "official". Seems like a case of the blind leading the deaf to me.

[yeawutever]

As long as it not too often, that would be annoying and I would be thinking "wow, this guy is a loser who gots no life, no other priorities"

[yeawutever]

And yea, I don't like talking too much, it gets to the point where I got nothing to say afterward, I would ran out of topic.

[Dating Coach]

ShySoul, I am not verbally jousting you, I am seeing some huge flaws in your logic and I have been pointing it out. As far as countering your points effectively, I have been doing that since day 1 and will continue to do it if I think you are giving bad advice.

 

As far as twisting words around, I am not aware that I did this, but you do have that habit. In the thread that was deleted several times you kept changing what was said by others and ran with a counter point to something that wasn't even said. Plus, you began the personal attacks from the very beginning when you PMed me and started telling me what kind of person I am and what kind of relationship I have based soley on one post of mine where all I did was compare two different approaches by using the Han Solo versus Anakin Skywalker analogy. How you could possibly draw any conclusions about who I was and what kind of relationship I have with my girlfriend (which is great by the way) based upon that one post of mine... I don't know. So spare me the victim speech, an no I won't PM you about this because this is nothing personal with me. I read your advice to some people and I disagree so I post my thoughts.

 

As far as people changing their minds... of course it can happen and no one said any different. Once again you twist things around. People can change their minds but my point is that if someone tells you their decision, then you should respect that decision and respect yourself enough to not continue to waste your time trying to change their decision. If they made their decision then it is time to move on and focus on other things. If that person changes their mind later on then great, you can persue it then, but to stick around and keep trying once they tell you no is not only disrespectful to them and yourself, but it is also very silly. Respect their decision and move on to other things. If they decide later that things have changed then they can approach you and take it from there. It's their call now and it is not yours.

 

I know that's not what some guys want to hear because they want to think that there is something that they can do, but it is not in your hands, it's in the other persons. Instead of sitting around like a puppy dog running to that persons every beck and call in hopes that doing so will change their mind is very weak behavior. That person should have more self respect, and having more self respect is what is going to make you more attractive.

 

I am not saying that dancingmsg does this at all, I am speaking generally of course. In dancings case, he needs to get her answer. He wants to know it, so he should go get it. If she says no, then it is time to move on. If the girl decides later that she wants him, she can come get him, but he should not sit there at her side hoping she will change her mind.

[dancingmsg]

well, i guess that i will end this post...in a sad way....did not get her answer....directly....but this time her behavior really said it all...and i finally got it.....it is a "NO".....so i feel good now....although i wished i could've felt great....but good thing is i got the answer....and i knew i had tried...no regret this time....so not bad at all....will start fresh tomorrow....got some important things to do.....

 

thank you all for everything you said....

[annie24]

I'm sorry you didn't get the answer you were looking for. It sucks - I know, I've been in your position. Well, you tried, and now you have the closure you need to move on. Plenty of other women out there! Go get 'em

[dancingmsg]

Yeah, it really sucks....but i know now even there is no woman out there....i would not regret for forgeting her....don't get me wrong....she is a nice girl....smart...cute...just not that into me....and i refused to be a fool and being clingy....so there is no way it can work out.....it's all God's will....nothing we can do about it.....

 

i guess it might be a retribution for my rejection to other girls....the only thing is i always tried to be very nice while clear when i say "no"....but this girl is way too much....i think she is confused and confusing me and herself....DiggityDogg....i know you will disagree with me ;-) .... you will say her behaviors have already showed her no-interest.....but i still don't like to figure out what women think by reading their actions.....i am not a mind reader....i just want to have a straight answer....yes/no.....ironically.....i had to read her action this time....to reach my decision to end this.....in a unplesant way....maybe you are right....it's time for me to learn how to watch what women do and interpret what they mean.....i got to say this is nuts.....but hey...if it is the only way to do it.....

 

well, i still want to wish this girl the best....and wish somewhere down the road....i can meet someone tells me directly that she likes me....don't give me any signals....i know....it's going to be a wish just like bubble....will not live in the real world more than 10 seconds.....

[annie24]

I'm not sure if she's so much "confused" as she may have been struggling trying to find a way to say "no" politely. She's your co-worker, and doesn't want to make things uncomfortable at work, so she can't just shoot you down the way she would if a guy in a bar were asking her out.

 

You have to remember, our mothers taught us to be polite. Being polite wouldn't be saying, "Never in a million years!!!" Even though that would be direct. Instead, men and women come up with "excuses" like "I'm busy with work" or they just don't return phone calls regularly, hoping you get the hint. I think it's time you read some articles on that. link removed is a pretty good resource. I find myself reading that site sometimes to gain insight into the male brain.

 

i can meet someone tells me directly that she likes me....don't give me any signals....i know....it's going to be a wish just like bubble....will not live in the real world more than 10 seconds.....

 

Honestly, I think if you found a girl like this, you wouldn't be interested. You said that previous girls let their intentions known to you, but you weren't interested. And this one has been, for like 9 months now, on your mind, because you weren't able to figure her out.

 

Men and women like challenges. Someone that comes too easily - we're not interested. Someone who is evasive and slightly mysterious - we're all over that!!!

[Dating Coach]

Dancingmsg, I am sorry it didn't work out for you buddy. I did say earlier on this thread that her actions didn't show interest, and I know that instead of trying to read that you would rather have the girl tell you straight out what her intentions are. I would like that too. The reality however is... that type of situation is rare. Not too many people will flat out tell you to buzz off and will say whatever excuse that will come to mind to avoid such a negative outcome, especially if that person thinks you are a nice guy. Even if you would rather it happen, they still won't do it. They don't want to be rude and they don't want to feel bad for being so blunt.

 

Just remember that if a girl really is into you, and then you ask her out, she will find time and she will go out with you. If excuses keep popping up or if she isn't putting in any effort to work with you to find a time to go out, then she isn't interested. That part is pretty simple to remember, and if it happens it is time to move on. If down the road that person decides they changed their mind (rarely ever happens) then you can pick it up from there, but if you get a "No" answer from them then it would be silly to keep hanging around and keep trying-for reasons already stated.

 

Good luck in your future projects dancingmsg, and there are other women out there for you. I know at times in my life when I was single and found out that the object of my affection wasn't interested, it seemed like I wouldn't find another girl, but I always did, and I ended up finding the best one.

[Beec]

Sorry this did not happen for you. Sooner or later it will. There were times I never thought it would for me, but things have to the extent that I am planning my wedding, well she is doing most of the planning.

 

I also don't think that someone will flat out tell you on very many occasions in your life. It does not happen that way in many cases.

 

Learn more about how we do interact, not how we would like to, and you'll see it without needing to ask.