How to send a strong message?

[Deax]

Hey all I want send a strong message to a girl "that she can't have both" without actually saying it. I have tried NC but it doesn't work for numerous reasons. Any ideas?

[darkblue]

Both of what?

[Bethany]

say 'Look, leave me alone until you have sorted out your head ok. I'm doing just fine here and am getting on with things so sort yourself out, I've had enough of this game!

[polaris]

In what sense is NC not working? If you mean by "can't have both", she has to choose between being with you, and being with someone else, then not being with her through NC works by definition, since she hasn't got you.

 

I suspect you really mean, how can she be forced to confront the fact that there is a choice, and *actively* make it herself rather than you make it for her as in NC, and her agree with that by default. Question is, though, why would you want to do that? If you've made a decision through NC that she agrees with, she's unlikely to make the opposite choice if she's forced to actively choose.

 

By all means force it if you really want to, and perhaps it will give you peace of mind to really hear it from her, but be aware that you're setting yourself up to get hurt. As to ways to force it, you only can really ask her plainly: "Will you give up this guy, knowing that if you don't, I'll be unable to remain in your life for my own emotional protection?". Saying it without really saying it, as you want to do, will simply give her the option of continuing to prevaricate, which she'll happily take.

[Deax]

oh no the reasons i want NC or for her make choice is cause she treats me like her BF. She gets jealous when i go out with other girls, or do things for other people. However she thinks it is stupid of me to feel the same way when she does it. It is just getting to the point where as i said before "you can't have both" if she wants us to commit to each other than lets commit, if not than i want to her to stop acting the way she does.