friends..... or more?

[shorty20]

I met this guy about four months ago. We hit it off right away, and became great friends, we kind of had a thing going for a while, but it was mostly just sexual.. it didn't end up working out at the time, and we ended it with just being friends after about 2 weeks... we hadn't really kept up the friendship in the past couple of months. Then, he called me out of the blue last week to see if we could hang out. I said he could run errands with me, thinking that he wanted to kill an hour or so while waiting for his gf... we ended up spending about 6 hours together, and we had a total blast... now he's been calling me/texting me alot more often... today he called me to ask me ot watch a movie with him... up until now it's been just friendship, he did have a gf but they broke up today (so he says)... I do still like him... never stopped liking him, but it just wasn't the right time when we tried before... my question is, should he be given another chance? He kinda messed things up before, because he constantly talked about his ex... he dosen't do this anymore, but basically I think he still had feelings for her. I'm so tired of being played and being pulled into "the game" with guys... I'm done with all that... been there done that. How do I know he's for real? Or if he even wants to try things again? I haven't initiated anything with him, he's done all the calling. Also, when we were dating before he always used to ask me to scratch his back, play with his hair, stuff like that, and today when we were watching the movie he got up and sat down right in front of me and put his head in my lap... like hinting he wanted me to play with his hair... is that something friends do? I'm not sure whether to take this seriously or to just let it go and stay as friends.... thanx guys!

[Alabama]

It sounds to me if he wants you to play with him, than it's definetly more than friends. He is definetly showing affection. I say, if you think there is another chance, then go for it!

[shorty20]

I also forgot to say... him and my best friend used to be good friends... thats actually how him and i met.. and now they hate each other.... she gets mad every time I hang out with him.... runs her mouth about him.... i don't know if i can balance the two.. he never says anything bad about her to me, but she runs her mouth every time she hears that we hung out... gives me a hard time about it, but if I don't tell her we hung out, she gets mad and says I'm hiding things and being sneaky..... if I were to chose to act on his advances, is there a way I could balance the two?? Keep my best friend adn start dating him???? wow.. why can't things just be simple??? ever???

[JuStAgIrL31806]

I think you should play it safe. Just be friends with him for a while, and see how he treats you. This guy that took advantage of me once did the same thing. We were GREAT friends, one night I got alittle drunk, and had sex with him. He quit answering my phone calls and wouldnt talk to me unless I walked up to him. Then he OBVIOUSLY wanted sex again, cause I saw him in school and he started talking to me, i called him that night we were fine again, started being friends again...stupid me went to his house and gave in to sex AGAIN...the next thing I know he wont talk to me or ANYTHING...he took my virginity...definetly not the way I wanted it...thought he liked me...he just wanted sex...please...just be very careful and dont let your guard down. You can always find someone else. I havent talked to this guy in.....1 year and 6 months...its been great, I have a wonderful boyfriend whom I have been with for 1 year and 1 month yesterday...there are PLENTY guys out there. If you just absolutely have to be with him and want it to work...GO SLOW...hope I help alittle.

[shorty20]

yes, you did help alot, and I thank you. I do need to go slow with him... but I can't deny the fact that I have feelings for him. How can I balance the two?? My best friend HATES him. Even if I do go slow, every time I see him, talk to him, anything... she runs her mouth about how stupid he is and how much of a jerk he is... neither will talk to the other all because of a stupid missunderstanding. I've tried to get them both to talk it out, but they won't. I don't know... but the way she makes it sound, if I start getting close with this guy again, I'm going to have to chose between her and him... she says she dosen't want to be associated with anyone that is associated with him. But in my eyes, if someone is going to try to make me chose between two people (which I think is so wrong) I'd chose the person who isn't trying to make me chose. Does that make sense? I don't want to lose my best friend... but I don't think she should try to control who I talk to or am associated with... I don't know if that gives more insight as to what I'm struggling with, but please.. i'm all open for any more suggestions you guys might come up with, or any more insights u guys might have.

[JuStAgIrL31806]

Yeah, you are right...not such a good friend if she is trying to control who YOU hang out with. You are your own person and you can make your own decisions...If I dont like one of my friends other friends I might tell them that I dont like them but I dont tell them not to hang out with them...thats just weird. I wish you the best though. Keep posting.

[dreamsite23]

Take control of the situation and tell her to mind her own business!

[Jessica45]

definitely more than friends if sex is involved.