She's 21 and has slept with more than 25 people!watsay?

[Miss M]

I agree with 'Miss M' on that, the lady in question has been through a lot in life, i mean quite a lot, from an abusive ex-fiance who used to sometime force her to do drugs to being raped by her ex-fiance's father and then all of that being blamed on her instead of the dad, her own dad wasnt very supportive when she was a child..she told me that everything had to be according to him and that she'd get beaten up/yelled at for even speaking at the dinner table coz her dad was watching TV.

Many of those who regard others with contempt don't realize the torture another person is going through. If we really understood what's behind the behavior, how it feels to be in her shoes, maybe we could offer more sympathy and compassion instead of disparaging remarks.

 

Deep down, she's just a normal human being looking for love and compassion,

As are we all. Any of us could be her if we'd had her same experiences. Promiscuity is a self-harming behavior, not unlike anorexia, cutting, drug addiction. Promiscuity is just a complex coping mechanism that seems to provide her some temporary relief from an awful emotional torture. And since it's only temporary, just like the other coping strategies, she needs to resort to it again and again in order to find relief. And she uses it now compulsively only because somewhere along the way she learned that it provided her some comfort. She shouldn't be judged harshly for it, and nor should she be exploited by guys looking for easy sex, and nor should she be forsaken.

 

I am amazed at her strength though, you dont come accross too many people with that kinda strength and the hope that they'll find love and happiness one day. She's taking counselling and looks like the new counseller is doing her good, hope everything works out for her.

You seem like a guy with a good heart, a good friend. And I'm glad she has you in her corner. I think it would help her quite a lot just to have a caring friend around. It's good for her to have some experience of being regarded kindly and with respect. It just may be her first glimpse of seeing herself as worthy, and that's an important part of her healing. But also you should continue to take good care of yourself. I'm glad you're her friend, but I still think it a huge task to take on and you should always give regard to your own well-being.

 

All the best to you both.