Comforting Thoughts.

[darkblue]

Hi everyone,

 

Sorry in advance if this gives anyone an eerie feeling.

 

My father past away a few years ago - but I've never been one to think about the past or show grievance etc.

 

But I've recently being going through somewhat of a difficult time - and, well, I have had thoughts of my father more frequently than usual.

I tend not to think about him much; but I find him entering my thoughts often now.

 

It almost feels like he's here with me; going through this with me.

I've always been the type of person that requires evidence for just about everything - so this is out of character.

 

I suppose what I'm asking is - do you believe that someone that has passed on can be with you in your mind?

Maybe that I'm subconsciously seeking comfort.

 

I'm not suggesting that his spirit is lurking around - but I find it odd that I'm thinking of him more now than ever; that I'm going through some hard times.

 

Either way I'm not complaining - it's a feeling of company. Like I'm not going through this alone.

[Ariel]

I honestly believe those we love never truly leave us.

I'm a bit of a down-to-earth sceptic too, most of the time, I'm not even religious, but like you quite often have "chats" with my grandmother who passed away 8 years ago - they're kind of like dreams, except I am fully aware that I'm actually asleep and that she's not alive any more. Sometimes I ask her about this in the "dream" and she just says, "sssh, it doesn't matter, i just wanted to see how you are" or something along those lines.

 

For years I thought it was my subconscious' way of remembering her and dealing with the grief of bereavement, but by coincidence I found out that my sister had also had one of these "dreams" / visits / chats on the same night I did. My sis and I live in different countries and rarely speak, it just so happened that my mum (who lives with her) mentioned that my sis had woken up crying and saying how she'd been "talking to nan" - and I hadn't mentioned a word of it to my mum before that.

 

The other weird thing is, that whenever I have these "dreams" where I'm chatting with my grandmother, she looks a lot younger than I remember her and has striking, jet black hair. (she was in her 70s when I was born, and was very grey and frail my whole life)

I've since found out from an old photo that she did indeed have lovely black hair - something I wasn't even (consciously, at least) aware of.

 

Take it however you like, but from these experiences I am sure there is "something" that remains, and when a loved one dies they are in fact not actually gone forever. It's a nice thought that they'll all be waiting for us when our time comes, and we'll see them again.

 

I expect your father just wants to keep an eye on you at the moment as things have been a little tough for you lately. Don't write it off as it being your imagination, let him comfort you and know that he loves and cares for you dearly. Even after passing, our loved ones are still there for us when we need them - I'm sure he just wants you to be OK!

 

Sorry this is a bit long, but I thought I'd share my experiences. Happy to talk more about it if you want to drop me a PM!

[darkblue]

Shivers creeped over me as I read that reply. Thank you.

 

It's nice to know I'm not the only one (going insane )

 

I don't think it's coincidence - I've dreamt about my father before. I always said that I don't want to be visited as that would scare the life out of me (pardon the pun).

 

But the last time I dreamt of him - I woke up in concern. Later that day a family member of mine took a turn for the worst.

The sceptic that I am - I put it down to coincidence. But it's happened on a number of times when something important has happened.

Family members taking ill etc.

 

I found it hard to grieve for him; as I never made contact with him for a year before his death.

But it's a comfort to know that he's still around - in my thoughts and dreams. That he's still here for me - even if he wasn't immediately there for me when he was alive.

 

I also find it comforting that he knows I forgive him. Because I simply wouldn't be able to cope if I thought he didn't know I forgave him.

 

Thank you for sharing your experience, too.

[BellaDonna]

do you believe that someone that has passed on can be with you in your mind?

 

I definitely think they can. I think some of us are more in tune to it than others.

 

This might sound funny- because it's about an animal and not a person- but I had a cat I absolutely adored that died last year- and it was as hard for me as losing a family member. I'm not one to cry and I can cry just thinkign about her- so I'll make this fast:

At least every other night I dream about her- She's either sitting on my lap purring or running through my back yard, extremely happy and playing. In the dream, I'm always calling her name ("Muffin") and she's very bright-eyed and affectionate in the dream. I like to think she is visiting me- either that or I miss her so much that she's stuck in my subconscious indefinitely.

 

I've never been one to think about the past or show grievance etc.

 

Whatever the case may be, it is important that you do grieve instead of being tough and holding it all inside. Even though the past is the past- it's still a part of who you are today and it's effect cannot be denied. I'm a tough/stubborn/stoic person myself- so I know how it is- but just let yourself go now and then because it is a crucial part of healing.

 

BellaDonna

[darkblue]

Thanks BD,

 

It must be comforting - Muffin sticking around

 

I also think I have got over my father - in my own way. It was a few years ago.

[Day_Walker]

I think the mind is a powerful tool, with all the information it holds I dont think its mystical or creepy that when you want to be comforted you have memories of past experience (or even people) that will give us comfort.

[armchairshrink]

You're not nuts; or if you are, then I'm swinging from the same tree. I've had a number of dreamtime visits from my mother, who passed away some 10 years ago. Like another poster, my mother and I both know that she's dead, yet she is interacting in my present life (in the dream). And in the dream, this causes no confusion. For example, she's given me relevant advice about my daughter, who was born long after Mom died. Whether this is just a buried memory resurfacing, or the actual spirit of my mother come to help, is irrelevant to me -- I find it comforting (and darned helpful sometimes).

 

Speaking of Mom: she had some experiences in her life that would really creep you out! One occurred the night of her favorite aunt's funeral. Mom had left a bouquet of Auntie's favorite flowers at the gravesite. When Mom went to bed that night, she was suddenly surrounded by the powerful smell of those flowers -- and the corner of her bed sank down exactly as it does when someone sits on it. Naturally, my mother ran shrieking from the room. When she came back with her father, who had come to see what all the noise was about, he also smelled the flowers and saw the corner of the bed. He said to my mother, "shame on you! That's just your Auntie come to say 'thank you' for the flowers. Now apologize for being rude and go to sleep." Mom went into the room and said, "Sorry for running from you, Auntie; I'm glad you liked the flowers." And whaddya know? The corner of the bed lifted, and the smell wafted away. Her father wished her goodnight and she went to bed (but not right to sleep, as you can imagine).

 

Now, I describe myself as an open-minded skeptic. I do believe there are things science can't explain yet (obviously or we'd have a cure for cancer), but I require evidence for any claim and prefer scientific explanations to mysticism. So when Mom told me this story, I was inclined to put it down to a child's imagination -- and that much only because I knew that my mother never lied and was herself a very practical, down-to-earth person. Then she told me that this happened when she was an adult, married with at least one of her eventual five children, and pregnant with the next. Mom was visiting her parents and sleeping in her old room when it happened.

 

So was it pregnoid's imagination? Maybe. But as weird as I got when I was pregnant, I never had hallucinations. Especially not hallucinations that someone else saw, too.

[darkblue]

Amazing armchairsink, thanks for sharing that one.

[Mrocza]

I am a firm believer that there is something greater out there and that there is "another side". Our deceased loves ones never leave us.

 

I have some friends who have been born into families with histories of psychic abilities. No, not predicting the future, but being more prone to encounter these paranormal occurrences. One friend sees "lights" (orbs) and often gets messages in dreams and waking life which he delievers to dumbstruck strangers.

 

My own mother, when her grandmother passed away, was 6 months pregnant with me. She awoke the night of her death crying because she had a dream of being visited by her grandmother saying goodbye. In fear of her having complications with the pregnancy, they didn't tell her of the death until after I was born.

 

I even have my own experience, not with a deceased loved one, but with a celestial presense, occurring after my near-fatal car accident.

 

I am totally open minded when it comes to these things. I believe, Darkblue, you are never really alone. Comforting, isn't it?

[Dako]

DB,

 

I might understand.

 

My father died 20 years ago, but I see him when I shave, I make decisions based on his values and I sometimes drink a bit like he did.

I feel him in my bones and at times imagine him with me. Of all the people I've known, he seems the most persistent. Not a day goes by without him being in and with me. I take care of my mother for him and he's been my hero for 50 years.

[keenan]

My dad died five years ago. He loved me and influenced me more than anyone in my life. His death was a complete and utter shock, and his funeral was on my 27th birthday. I don't remember much about that year. When times get rough I think of him more, and I know exactly what he would think...and what he would say. He demands more *from* me, and more *for* me, than I do. The 'from me' part is a pain (grin), but the 'for me' part is really precious, and the greatest thing ever gave me.

[ShySoul]

DB,

 

I missed this thread orginally. Believe I was going through a rough patch myself and had taken a few days leave. But if I had seen it, I would definitely have responded. I mean, you know I can't resist a talk about spirits.

 

I believe that a person stays with us in our thoughts and in our hearts. When they are alive they teach us things, we experience things with them. Those things stay with us. The memory of those moments get burned into our brain. So when we are doing something alone that we used to do a lot with them, that memory comes back to us and we can feel their presense their. Or when we remember a lesson that the person taught us, it can feel like the person is talking to us know.

 

I've been fortunate to have not that many people I have been close to die. The closet would be my godmother, and that was over a decade ago. Every now and then I'll think of her and remember the person she was, and what she taught me about life and love. Its usually when I am having a hard time. And I like to think that her presense and who she was lives on in me and the lives of the people she touched. Not a spirit invading me, but that in my actions I can be a sort of living dedication to her memory and person.

 

I'm trying to talk here in less philosophical terms, cause I know you don't like that kind of stuff. And I'm not using a Star Trek, though I could break that out.

 

I've said this to you before, and I stick by it. You do need to talk things out more. You were probably feeling your fathers spirit because it was a rough time and your father was a man you admired and who gave you strength. In a time of need, you thought back to him.

 

You've been MIA for awhile now buddy. When you get back, let us know what you've been up to. You are sincerely missed.

[coollady1957]

This is a very interesting thread. I have had dreams also about my deceased husband. I have had grandparents that passed away, but I have never dreamed of them. My husband was my rock, he was my life, the person I laughed and cried with.

 

I have always had some skepticism about possible communications from those that have left us here on earth. I had always heard people say that they " talked" to some one, or that they had a visit with some one within a dream. Things like that I used to just kind of take with a grain of salt and not put much stock into it. AT that time thought I had not lost anyone close and dear to my heart.

 

I am the type person that has always had a deep gut feeling , or intuition about things that always turned out that I was right. But I dont think I would call it having ESP or psychic insight. Just not sure becasue I dont know that much about that stuff, never had an interest in it, and have never read much about it.

 

I had this really really weird scary dream before my husband died, and it freaked me out. It was about a month before he died, that I had a dream where I was seeing myself through they eyes of others, and all these people were talking about "me" being alone now because my husband had died. I woke up after the dream and it seemed so vivid and it weighed on my mind heavily. It worried me horribly because many years ago my mom had a similar dream about my grandpa dying and he died the next day.

 

I tried to put the dream out of my mind, because in my thoughts, my husband was young , strong, healthy, active, and thought surely this is some stupid dream that surely cant come true. However, three and half weeks later, my husband came home one evening after an afternoon hunting trip, and walked in the door and fell dead in a split second.

 

Since his death, I have had two dreams about him. ONe was at my work, where he and I owned our own business. In the dream I walked in the office and saw him sitting at my desk chair, I asked him what he was doing here, and his reply was " I am just checking to be sure everything is ok with work and that you are having no problems", And then the dream eneded with him smiling at me and fading away. The second dream I had of him since his death, was ,,, in the dream, I looked out my back door, and on the patio I saw him , I opened the door and once again, said " what are you doing here", and his reply was, " I was checking to see if you had enough firewood on the porch for the cold part of this winter",, once again he faded away with a smile.

On occasion, I have had the scent of him, that I would smell in the past when he would come home from a day of hunting. His hunting clothes always had that woodsy outdoors smell. ON two separate occasions I would walk into a room and the strong scent would over power me. It was like he was right there in the room, just having come home from hunting.

 

I think of him in some small way each and every day. But I do not dwell upon his death and have grieved his loss in detail. I have accepted that life goes on, but at times I do feel his presense, and Sometimes I will just even make alittle comment directed toward him, if I have something to say that is on my mind.

 

As for the premonition type dream I had,,, well that is just still confusing to me. As for the other dreams after his death, they were comforting. Where they came from I dont know. Maybe it was just memories that brought forth the dreams, maybe he was really checking in on me. I have no clue how to take these things. As far as the scent and smell of his hunting clothes, well that one I dont know either.

 

I have always hesitated about speaking about these dreams and experiences, because alot of people will look at you like,,,," yeah right, this person is NUTS". But no I am not nuts. Maybe I am just sensitive to all the memories of him.