Bad situation, how to fix it?

[Aueft]

Hey everyone.

 

I've liked this girl for quite a while now. We started talking and we're getting to know eachother better and so on. Sort of be aloof and so on, and so does she, sort of flirting and so on. She even strait up told me that "last year I liked you". She's older than me.

 

Well my school had this "beach trip" thing where we go up to the beach for a while, then go to our schools football game. I decided this would be a great opportunity to talk to her and hang out with her casually. So I did so. My friend, me, her, and her friend walked around together for a while, and sat on the beach. I didn't hang out with her for the entire time, just for about a half an hour, which I thought was the ideal way to go about this.

 

She has a boyfriend, so I wanted to wait a while to tell her that I was interested, obviously.

 

So while we're walking around together I go back to the bus to get my sunglasses. Well for some reason my "friend" decides to tell her I like her while I'm gone. I was totally oblivious to this when I got back, and we just continued to hang out.

 

Well I got back on the bus and he tells me. I immediately get pissed, then I asked what she said. I guess she was surprized and didn't know if I liked her or not (which is what I wanted her to think! I wanted her to wonder), but her friend thought it was obvious. Then she said she had a boyfriend and liked him. I'm not mad at her for that, I don't expect her to break up with him for me. I guess she showed him a picture of her boyfriend, and I'm told by more than one person that I'm better looking than him, if that matters at all.

 

Well anyway, we get to the game, and I act like nothing happened. Her and I didn't talk at first. I called up one of my friends since he wanted to "stay updated". Well, while on the phone I glanced over to see my manic friend talking to her -again-. I later found out that she asked how I was, and he told her I was "moping about". THIS IS BAD... She said she felt sorry for me..which is also really bad. Then she said that she liked me and it wouldn't be so complicated if she didn't have a boyfriend, and she did think I was cute. What really kinda pisses me off is the fact that I -know- my friend is leaving out a lot of things that she said. Either good or bad.

 

Well obviously things at that point were pretty messed up. I was pissed. I didn't talk to her for a while and just did my own thing.

 

About the last 45 minutes of the game me and two of my friends, including idiot friend, bump into her and her friend. We sat down and talked about music and stuff. Nothing big, just various things. I was sharing the blanket with the girl I like and her friend. Me and the girl I liked talked a bit, but just part of the general conversation going on with everyone. I talked and added to things, but not overly so.

 

I contimplated telling her I wanted to talk to her alone, but that would have made it some big deal, so I didn't. Instead, when we were walking out, I asked her to give me a call.

 

When we do talk, I'm going to have to do some damage control. I think I need to make it understood that I didn't tell "idiot friend" to do any of what he did. She probably thinks I'm playing some immature game, which is not what I want. I figure I may as well tell her I like her myself instead of idiot friend telling her, since it's already out there. And from there, we can just talk about the subject and clear things up. Which can go one of two ways. Good, or bad.

 

I could really just use some advice..I don't know what to think or do right now.

[SimoneTiger]

This is not the advice you are looking for, but...

 

She has a boyfriend: end of story.

[Aueft]

Yeah. I'm aware of that.

[darkblue]

Hi Aueft,

 

Tough situation - but you already know that.

 

The fact that she's got a boyfriend is the only thing stopping you from coming out and telling her.

 

Well unfortunately there's not much you can do while she's got a boyfriend.

 

I advise you to stay close to her (as a friend) and if anything goes wrong with her current relationship - you have a chance (if you're still interested at that time)

 

But currently; you should be seeing other people.

Or at least getting closer to other girls.

[DiscipleOfChange]

Well, at least she thinks you're cute and did like you at some point in the past. She has a boyfriend now, but the rate at which people fall in and out of love, at your age especially, may provide some solace. Just be cool about it and if she ever moves on from this boyfriend, let her work through the break up and then try to get closer. Remember this in the future, the fewer people you tell about a girl you're interested in, the smaller the chance she'll find out. People love to gossip and spread "hot issues". So, make sure you know and trust who you tell.

 

~Mark

[darkblue]

Well, at least she thinks you're cute and did like you at some point in the past. She has a boyfriend now, but the rate at which people fall in and out of love, at your age especially, may provide some solace. Just be cool about it and if she ever moves on from this boyfriend, let her work through the break up and then try to get closer. Remember this in the future, the fewer people you tell about a girl you're interested in, the smaller the chance she'll find out. People love to gossip and spread "hot issues". So, make sure you know and trust who you tell.

 

~Mark

 

Amen, brother.

[Aueft]

Well guys, on a more immediate level..she is going to call this weekend sometime...

 

Edit: I mean..what I stated in my first post, that's a good thing to say, correct?

 

Oh, and I really appriciate the advice guys.

[DiscipleOfChange]

As long as you say it quickly and succinctly and get it over with, then yes it sounds like a good plan. Something to the effect of: "Hey, I didn't mean for things to happen like this. I meant to persoanlly tell you how I felt rather than have you find out from my friend. I know you have a boyfriend though, but we can still be good friends."

 

I've never had to have this kind of a conversation, but I'm just throwing out ideas.

[heloladies21]

Dude, stop being so serious about this. Your friend is an idiot and you shouldn't tell him anything more about who your interested in (or really anything else important), but this chick said she likes you too and that's a good thing to find out.

 

Who cares about her bf? You're not in the relationship with him, she is. Things aren't that serious between them so you can get her.

 

Don't address what your friend said, it will just put more pressure on the situation and suck the fun out of it. With her, be cool, be funny, do what you've been doing. Be patient, your time will come soon. Keep talking to other girls too.

[Miss M]

I mean..what I stated in my first post, that's a good thing to say, correct?

I agree with your decision to tell her. It clears the air, direct communication, no 3rd party (idiot friend) editing your/her thoughts, less chance for misunderstanding. Then step back and let the chips fall. At least some/all misunderstandings will be straightened out. That seems better to me. Not sure how she will feel though. Everybody's different. Good luck.

[Aueft]

double-posted. Deleted.

[Aueft]

Update- She called and I told her exactly what was said in my first post. "I didn't tell him to do any of that stuff. I do like you, but I was going to wait to tell you. I understand you have a boyfriend, and I respect that." We talked about random things for a while, then I cut the conversation short when I realized that I shouldn't talk to her for too long..you know..keep her "wanting more" so to speak. I didn't sign on to AIM tonight, because I didn't want to talk to her after the phone conversation. I know it's kinda game-ish, but I think it's the right thing to do. I'm not going to talk to her unless she initiates conversation, and I'm going to see other girls in the meantime. I won't completely ignore her, and throw her a few things, so to speak. But for the most part, I'm going to let her pursue any friendships, and if she chooses not to, then I know she's not interested..and while that may suck..so be it. At least the ball is on her side of the court and I'm the one stirring things up this time.

 

Thoughts?

[randy]

she has a BF ( and she likes him ) . Why waste your time .

 

I would not tell her that I like her . Just say something general like " I find you interestring " I would not tell her anything at all because it now becomes awkward . . . but , it looks like your friend there told her already so just use the " i find you interestring " .

 

Honestly , you don't have a chance with her right now . Even if you did would you want someone like that . Forget about her as a romantice interest .