How to get the type of guy I want

[thatonegirl]

At school (im in college) Ive been hit on a few times but not by the type of guys I like. I notice when I dress up or have more of a trendy look alot of superficial, materialistic stupid guys come up to me. Im wondering how can I attract the intelligent, responsible kind of guy. I like a guy with more of a quiet confidence. I keep meeting a**holes. Mostly the type of guys that hit on any random girl and try to get into every girls pants. This is becoming increasingly frustrating which is why I've changed my style and its seemed to have worked a bit. But now guys think Im some quiet girl thats needs an "extroverted" guy so I can "have fun" and "come out of my shell" which basically gives me the impression that they want a more passive girl that they can screw over. Im quiet and reserved at first but I easily become more talkative after getting to know someone.

Im thinking maybe I should change my style to more of a conservative, mature look instead of always tshirts and jeans. What else can I do? can anybody relate.

[rionmccloud]

Just be you. Hang out in places these guy are likely to hang out. Don't wait for someone to hit on you, hit on them too. I think you're on the track, but when you dress a certain way people will think certain things about you. PLain and simple.

[Dre_7]

Be proactive, go after the guys you want. It's not so much how you look as it is who you are. From a guy's perspective, if you want that type of guy, he's a bit harder to find than your the guys you're talking about that approach you. I'm sure if you're looking for that kind of guy, then you must be an awesome girl.

 

If you're too shy to approach theguys you want, then smile at them, say hi when you get a chance to in your classes. I'm not saying that you have to do all the work for the guy, but show interest. With introverted guys, since many of them are not trying to nail everything that walks, you just have to be a bit more straighforward with them i.e. FLIRT lol.

 

lol, I wish I could find a girl who was looking for the things you want in a guy...Just remember to be friendly and personable. The difference between girls who think they're hot and girls who are pretty, yet down to Earth is that hot girls have an attitude that makes them unapproachable to all but the guys they like.

 

And in terms of the way you dress, I think you should dress nicely but keep it simple. Don't dress up so much that you appear to be high maintenance, but don't dress down so much that you don't work with what you've got lol. my philosophy with dressing is that making an effort to look good, should look effortless. Maybe it's different with girls lol.

 

Now go get 'em!

[darkblue]

Don't change who you are.

 

Change the people you're around and talk to the ones you want to attract.

The men you stated are normally the quiet reserved type - in which case they'll be shy and won't make an immediate approach.

 

Talk to them!

[DiscipleOfChange]

Wouldn't it be nice if a bunch of us who post here all went to the same college? It seems like from looking at a lot ofp eoples post and comments, that many of us are looking for the same things. Everyone who's replied before me has offered up a lot of good advice. Don't change who you are for anybody else but yourself. Now, the thing about this is, if you feel like you will be happier about yourself if you were to change something, then do so. Exaple:

 

Before this year, I was attracted to girls, but never really acted on those feelings. This year, so far at least, I've had coffee with one girl. We're just friends, but it made a world of difference for me in terms of progress.

 

Im wondering how can I attract the intelligent, responsible kind of guy. I like a guy with more of a quiet confidence.

 

The thing about quiet confidence is, and I speak with a relative degree of personal experience since I feel your description somewhat describes me, is that meeting women presents more of a challenge for guys like us because, well, probably because of many factors. For one, we have a certain outlook on what a relationship should be and that isn't exactly the same thing the majority of other college students are looking for. Secondly, we just have a harder time approaching girls and engaging them in conversation.

 

A note on T-shirts and Jeans...Personally, I'm not attracted to the specific clothes a girl wears. In fact, T-shirts and jeans are often very cute. The key thing is how you carry yourself and present yourself. The clothes don't make the person, the personality does.

 

Hope this helps and if you'd like to chat, IM me at aneasfrommclean

 

~Mark

[Caterina]

I attract all sorts of guys. I don't know what that means. BUt usually I am not interested in them although I can't really pinpoint why. Its nothing to do with type since I am unsure of my type. I tend to go for guys that I have become friends with that are slightly interested in me but not psycho crazy about me...don't know what that indicates....

[annie24]

If you want to attract the quiet intelligent guys, go to where they are: in bookstores, in labs doing research, at lectures. That sort of thing. You already found out that when you get dressed up, you attract the materialistic types. So, go out and do the stuff that intelligent guys like to do.

[thatonegirl]

I attract all sorts of guys. I don't know what that means. BUt usually I am not interested in them although I can't really pinpoint why. Its nothing to do with type since I am unsure of my type. I tend to go for guys that I have become friends with that are slightly interested in me but not psycho crazy about me...don't know what that indicates....

 

What does that have to do with my post? You've made similar comments in other threads. Im not trying to be rude but if you need help or want to ask a particular question why not start your own thread?

 

 

Im not trying to change who I am anymore. I dressed really trendy and had a particular look for a while. I felt like I was acting. I always met guys I have nothing in common with. But part of the problem is that I dont necessarily feel attractive if Im not dressing up and I dont get the looks either. But I really dont want the looks. I really dont like ppl gawking at me. I dont like alot of attention and I want a guy that doesnt like alot of attention. Its hard to find ppl that like to talk to you one on one instead of in some big group so they can show off. No matter how I dress I still get these guy that will come up to me and say things like "Hey girl, you fine" blah blah blah.....irritating. I really dont want to seem aggressive and I have a problem with not flirting enough..Thanks for all the comments. They have definetely helped. Sorry if im being repetitive.

[annie24]

well, to elaborate, you said that you're looking for the "intelligent, responsible" kind of guy. Are you that kind of girl? I was reading a book called, "Date like a man" by Myreah Moore. The authors recalls having a conversation with a woman who said that she was looking for a rich man. Myreah said to her, "well, are you rich?" The girl said, "No..." And Myreah said, "Well honey, how are you going to meet a man of wealth if you're flying in coach?"

 

Likewise, if you want to marry a doctor, go to med school to be a doctor yourself! Or, become a nurse. Or, get a job where you have to spend a good deal of time at a hospital.

 

I don't know how involved you are in your college events, but definitely start going to the more "intellectual ones." (ie, lectures as opposed to frat parties."

 

Good luck in your search

[thatonegirl]

Well I am that kind of girl, pretty much. Im not Britney Spears looking for a Yale graduate, and Im not some 300 pound girl looking for a bodybuilder. I recently have started going to more events and I will join a school club. Next semester I will be taking science courses so hopefully I will meet a guy with similar interests. thanks for the tips!

[Dre_7]

I attract all sorts of guys. I don't know what that means. BUt usually I am not interested in them although I can't really pinpoint why. Its nothing to do with type since I am unsure of my type. I tend to go for guys that I have become friends with that are slightly interested in me but not psycho crazy about me...don't know what that indicates....

 

What does that have to do with my post? You've made similar comments in other threads. Im not trying to be rude but if you need help or want to ask a particular question why not start your own thread?

 

 

Im not trying to change who I am anymore. I dressed really trendy and had a particular look for a while. I felt like I was acting. I always met guys I have nothing in common with. But part of the problem is that I dont necessarily feel attractive if Im not dressing up and I dont get the looks either. But I really dont want the looks. I really dont like ppl gawking at me. I dont like alot of attention and I want a guy that doesnt like alot of attention. Its hard to find ppl that like to talk to you one on one instead of in some big group so they can show off. No matter how I dress I still get these guy that will come up to me and say things like "Hey girl, you fine" blah blah blah.....irritating. I really dont want to seem aggressive and I have a problem with not flirting enough..Thanks for all the comments. They have definetely helped. Sorry if im being repetitive.

 

lol...I wish more girls (and people in general) had the mentality of not wanting alot of attention. As a guy, I like getting looks because it's nice catching the eye of someone you think is cute as well. But I know what you mean about the attention being annoying. I think it has more to do with your looks than the way you dress now that you've elaborated. I think flirting comes natrually when you're genuinely interested in someone, especially if they're reciprocating the interest. So don't worry too much about the meatheads lol, in time you'll find what you're looking for.

[nexus532]

well being in college myself i can understand what your saying. You see, for me in college im no looking for a long term relationship, or rather someone i can see myself having children with, thats why most men go for the, lets call them,"more outgoing girls". But when i get into my later years of college ill beging to look for someone who doesn't always wear makeup, or dress up for a hour-two hour class. At least thats my mind set, its kind of shallow, but its what i choose to think. Of course, every guy is different. I'm not saying i use the girls, if i find a girl i like , i will try to set up a good foundation with them.

[steelwool]

I'm that type of guy. If you wanna get one of us, you have to be kind of aggressive(not too much). Standing back and waiting won't work at all. You can't just throw signs either. You HAVE to talk. You can try to start light conversations. Tell a joke or give him a compliment. Think of him as one of your friends.