Nirvana Posted October 16, 2002 Share Posted October 16, 2002 Hi. I dunno how to start these things as I am new to these forums, so I'll try to make this quick. There is a girl I have known for about 3 years now. We are very good friends, we know everything about each other. I really like her, and she knows. We tried going out once before, but as I was extreemly shy, it didn't go to well. Now that I have had some more experience, I know it would be differeant. But everytime I have asked her about it, she has just brushed me off. She seems to be interested in the guys that don't even like her as friends. She doesn't take any notice of me on any level higher than friendship. I am always good to her, I have never done anything bad to her. All my friends tell me to just give up, her friends tell me to as well, but I can't. What should I do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shy_Guy Posted October 16, 2002 Share Posted October 16, 2002 I'm not certain how old you are, and forgive me for assuming you to be under the age of 25, but from my view, you'd have to consider the following things to yourself to judge whether to continue pursuing her: 1) When you say 'brushing you off', how strongly did she do this? Did she say in no uncertain terms that she is not interested in you in a romantic manner? If not, this may be the very small window you need to make one more attempt. If she is unequivocal in her voicing her feelings, I'd say you're done. 2) Possibly you need to take a more thorough look at YOURSELF - is the romantic attachment you have for her one out of genuine feelings, or as much from an inner desire to 'save her from herself' or 'rescue' her from the men that she seems to seek out, which you judge to not treat her well. In my experience there are many out there who don't see or feel the need to be 'rescued', and most 'nice guys' such as yourself will never be able to convince them otherwise. I'd suggest in a private, but entirely UNROMANTIC setting that you try to have a heartfelt conversation with her regarding your observations and feelings. The angle I think you need to take is one of being a positive and supportive friend, and reinforce with her that you'll ALWAYS be her friend (which you will be if your feelings are as altruistic as you claim), whether you go beyond being 'just friends' or not. Good luck in this venture. BTW - I've been in your position, so I'm very familiar with what you're probably feeling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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