HoldMeTightly Posted September 21, 2005 Share Posted September 21, 2005 A tale I was told just yesterday. Right before the person who told it to me was killed. Well, she killed herself. She was hung. In her room, the noose being used was her own hands that had wrapped themselves around her body, killing her slowly, and yet, the autopsy revealed that she had not been killed by suffication or breakage of the neck. They don't know, actually. How she died anyway. So the story. I'm sure you've heard one variation of it. Or not. The cradle of darkness, it was discovered in the black of night, on the darkest night of the year. It was the all hollow's eve and a new moon had failed to rise. What? You'd never heard the tale? The legend? Hm. I guess I assumed you had. Actually it's not a legend. It's all truth, if you don't believe me, ask the two young kids who discovered it. Well, you could ask them, if they were still alive. What exactly was discovered you ask? A cradle, sitting alone under the most beautiful tree in the wood, from a distance it seemed inviting, but as you approach, it's suddenly covered in black spider webs, dripping in crimson hate and death. Becoming more frightening as it feeds on your fear. No one had ever seen the Grim Reaper who lies in the crib during the day, hidden from the world, resting. No one had ever expected the angel of death to be a mere child. A child that instead of having been born free of sin and one hundred percent pure; was born stripped of innocence and with every sin imaginable carved onto his body. This child was a mistake and not claimed by anyone in the history of time. He never grew up but he grew older in purely years, and the older he grew, the darker his eyes got, and the more they bled. They bled for his lack of love as he grew up. I'm saying "he". No one knows if it's a female or a male. Maybe it's a mix between both, but for the sake of the tale, he is usually called a male, a "he" per say. You know which woods I'm talking about. The ones right by your house. He hides there, you know. Just a figure in the darkness seen by no one, especially not the ones who want to see him. I don't want to see him. But I do. He's slowly consuming me from behind. Has been for years. And I'm warning you, it's the truth. The angel of death is behind us all, just closer to some than others. He feels like the hand of friend, being gently laid down upon my shoulders. He's deceiving. I turn. No one is there except darkness. But then it hits me. He hides within the darkness of our minds, and when the lights go out, it is him that watches, and now, with only a small light shining from the crack under my door, he will take me. He has the razor blade in his hands and presses it into mine. The blade is dragged accross my wrists, with more force than I could have ever given myself. The blood doesn't even feel real as my life starts to slowly drip out of me. I can hear him laughing. First behind me, then in front, and next thing I know he's on my left, then right. I'm getting scared now. I don't know what to do. Even as I write, the blood is staining the paper. I can't feel my whole arm anymore. I stop writing and feel myself press the blade into the other arm. Release. I am free. And I am being taken into the cradle, smothered inside, and asphyxiated. Just as he was right after birth when his mother covered his face with a pillow, and he refused to die. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nothingontheinside Posted September 21, 2005 Share Posted September 21, 2005 i didnt like it. i thought it kinda stunk actually. work on it a little more maybe? develop the thought? anyone else have opinons and advice for this girl? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoldMeTightly Posted September 21, 2005 Author Share Posted September 21, 2005 sweet... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bilal72401 Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 OHHHHHHHHHHHHH MYYYYYYYYYYYY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that was sooo freakin awsome, girl i wanna meet you! u have some talent!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =D> great job!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackwinter Posted September 26, 2005 Share Posted September 26, 2005 I didn't think it was that good. There didnt seem to be much to it other than the profile of a character that being that creature and then it killed someone. I didnt like how the story started with the whole "they're not alive to live the tale" I think over the years that has been over used and become flat and lifeless. Nice concept, needs more body. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoldMeTightly Posted September 26, 2005 Author Share Posted September 26, 2005 sweet thanks black winter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
in_the_mirror Posted October 18, 2005 Share Posted October 18, 2005 i liked it, it kinda reminded me a little of shel silverstien, only a little twisted...it could use a little revision though.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moon Goddess Posted October 19, 2005 Share Posted October 19, 2005 I liked it alot it just takes you in the story sucks you in.NICE very nice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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