fingering for the complete newbie

[Arka30]

Ok, I really hope this is the right section It feels weird writing this too so bear with me.

 

So the other night my girlfriend and I are messing around a bit. She -for the first time- tries to ummm... stimulate me with her hand Well, I naturally wished to return the favor so I start to move down there on her. She's wearing thin sweatpants and I just go down to run her area. Well turns out I didn't have a clue cuz she took a hold of my hand and geve me a lesson. Showed me where the vagina was and how it's not really the way to stimulate here and then where the clitoris is and told me the best was is to just rub there. Now even after all that I kept getting off track but heck it was my first time stimulating down there.

 

Sooo... my question. Even after my "orientation" I still don't have a clue what to do. I tired rubbing the cit area but after a bit it was hurting her. I feel frustrated because I can't return what she gives me. She says it's ok and it will come with time, but still. Im not too worried about it but getting some tips from pros would be nice.

 

Is there a way I can find the area more quickly if she is wearing, say, sweatpants? And... if I ever go beneath the sweatpants what should I be doing? She says the vagina dosen't really stimulate her and to spend most of the time on the clitoris (that is if I can find it ).

 

I would very much appreciate comments on technique. I just feel lost when it comes to stimulating her down there and I really don't want to cause pain again.

 

Thanks!

[yokohama_mama]

It feels weird answering this too.

 

But it seems to me that your girlfriend is not shy about showing you what she likes and what feels good to her. She's the best person for you to learn from, so next time just ask her to show you again how to do it. Try to keep things sexy though and not make it feel like, say, a driving lesson!

If you're comfortable doing it, you could talk to her in a sexy way throughout the "lesson".

 

Also note that that clitoris is highly sensitive and you generally want to go extremely light when using your fingers (that's why the tongue can be so effective in that area--though not through sweat pants!) Think more of gliding over the clit than applying pressure to it. Also if you're coordinated enough to be making out with her while stroking it, that'll feel really good. Watch her reactions; you'll be able to tell if what you're doing is working or not.

[ReadyorNot]

I also think you should just ask her again. I think she would be more then happy to show you.

 

The key is to be very gentle... at least until she tells you to apply more pressure... Sometimes my fiance still gets carried away and I have to tell him "GENTLE!!!!"

 

If she isnt wet then it probably feels kinda gross, so you can get some "lube" from inside her if she is ok with that.

[darkblue]

I also think you should just ask her again. I think she would be more then happy to show you.

 

The key is to be very gentle... at least until she tells you to apply more pressure... Sometimes my fiance still gets carried away and I have to tell him "GENTLE!!!!"

 

If she isnt wet then it probably feels kinda gross, so you can get some "lube" from inside her if she is ok with that.

 

I love the way you make it sound like a store-room in there.

 

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[ReadyorNot]

I also think you should just ask her again. I think she would be more then happy to show you.

 

The key is to be very gentle... at least until she tells you to apply more pressure... Sometimes my fiance still gets carried away and I have to tell him "GENTLE!!!!"

 

If she isnt wet then it probably feels kinda gross, so you can get some "lube" from inside her if she is ok with that.

 

I love the way you make it sound like a store-room in there.

 

link removed

 

oopsie! but honestly.. If I am not wet around my clit I am usually very wet inside.

[Hello90]

Hey,

 

Don't feel discouraged, you're new to it. You need to go really really slow at first. Have fun with it, don't just bombard her. Feel around the area, tickle there, rub her inner thighs. Kiss her a LOT before you do it.

 

I like to lay her down on her back and rub my fingers lightly all over my girlfriend, THEN I start kissing her! After a while, start to touch there, over the pants or whatever. Then reposition yourself and do it lightly. Make sure she is really wet. If you can't get her wet all around, you might want to use some sort of safe lube. I start slow then increase speed slowly when I feel the clit come out a little. Kind of go with her!

 

Don't do it too hard or it will hurt! Remember, faster doesn't mean HARDER. One technique that I found works well for my girlfriend is to start out by penetrating about a half an inch then gently rub up until I get near the clitoris. It helps het her wet and she loves it.

 

Don't feel bad if you don't get it right away, practice makes perfect.

 

Oh yeah, remember to ALWAYS wash your hands before you do it. Trim your nails and file them so they aren't sharp. You have to be clean and smooth to not give her an infection/cut her!