sexual incompatibility revisited

[Hello90]

I am having more problems with sexual incompatability, as I have come to realize it (read previous post for more info).

 

My girlfriend and I had another talk today. She really does not understand that people have a 'need' for sex. It's as if she never heard of such a thing and I am some sexual pervert.

 

She told me sexual things do not mean anything. She wouldn't even kiss me today willingly cause she wasn't in a kissing mood.

 

I now realize that I cannot progress in a relationship with her (after 9 months) if I cannot enjoy sex with someone I love.

 

She is leaving and instead of turn this into an LDR, I believe it is for the best if we break up. How can I communicate this? I will come off as a sex crazed pervert simply because she does not believe/understand that I have a 'normal' sex drive (once or twice a week would be fine for me). She told me that I want to do it a lot more than other people, but she has dated VERY few other people.

 

I need advice... any help?

[DN]

Just tell her that sexual relations between loving couples is normal and natural. Since she is unable or unwilling to do that with you, you will have to give her up, as you know that the lack of sexual intimacy will eventually destroy the relationship anyway.

 

You are not a pervert and should not allow her to guilt you into thinking that way.

[exotigirl]

I have just recently gone through the same thing and to make matters worst it was w/ my boyfriend. it ruined our relationship and I completely came to resent him. just leave nefore it's too late and too hard. it will never work until she understands your point of view and she won't because she's not in your shoes.

[RayKay]

You are not a pervert for having a normal sex drive, and while she may "think" you are a pervert, it would not be because you actually ARE! I am not sure WHOM she dated, but I would guess their sex drives were not as low as she imagines they were...

 

In a loving relationship, of course you want intimacy with your partner! It is not just about "getting your rocks off" - it is about communicating, sharing, pleasuring...in fact if my partner did not want sex/to be intimate with me, I would feel pretty darn rejected!

 

It seems for whatever reason your girlfriend has some hang-ups or issues with intimacy, and you two are not sexually compatible. Everyone deserves to be satisfied on all levels in terms of compatibility - don't settle as over time you resentment will build, and things will only get worse.

 

Don't let her make you feel guilty for being human.

[heloladies21]

Tell her the truth.

[plugger123]

I dumped my now ex-girlfriend for those reasons. I loved her, but I can't be in a relationship with no sex. I stuck through it for many months, but I can tell you that I started resenting her and that was basically the death of the relationship - caused me a lot of pain. I should not have waisted so much time on her. It's been two months since I dumped her. I should have dumped her sooner - when she told me that she didn't like sex. (At first I thought she was just making up things and are maybe a bit unsure or something)

 

I know she loved me and I loved her but I just didn't see a serious relationship like she did. Hopefully I will never meet some one like her again. Caused me lots of grief the longer it went on.

[jevonj77]

Uhm it seems to me like she thinks she is defending something by taking this stance...I do not suppose that she is religious...I know that she is not.

 

What she does not understand is that survival of the human race is in a sense dependent upon sex...and that sex can also be a form of showing someone how much you love them.

 

As for the male, due to the over amount of testosterone in his body, sex is much more on his mind than it would be on a females...and it is wrong, for in a relationship, for her to be holding back on something that your body naturally tells you to seek out after a certian age.

 

There is a website that I would recommend that she reads. This website will go over some scientific data as to what sex is and is for. She obviously has some miseducation and is all childish in her mind about it.

 

The website also speaks about many different things like cultural influences on women that have some thinking that they should not be liking sex.

 

Tell her if she really cares about you...read this and then see what she still thinks. Now it is very involved and very long, so, she might not read it all...but it willhelp. link removed