Should I stay with him?

[Tully]

I have been with my boyfriend for 6 months, and I have strong feelings for him. He was recenlty made redundant because of circumstances beyond his control and is now looking for work. I found out yesterday that he is applying for interstate positions. I am applying for honous year next year and he knows I cant really go anywhere soon.

Should I assume that he dosent value our relationship if he is that willing to move interstate for work? There are plenty of jobs here for him.

I aksed him about this and he replied ' lets cross our bridges when we come to them'. Do you think this is a good enough reason to call it off?

[DN]

Short answer - no. Not if you love him. He needs work and it's all very well saying there are plenty of jobs where you are but they may not be the best career choices for him. As he says, cross the bridge when you get to it.

[Alabama]

You haven't reach the point yet where he has an interstate job. See how things go, then after time if you can't handle it, then it's your call. But give it time. Good luck!

[Serendipity1607307077]

In my opinion, just bring it up with him and tell him how you feel about it. Make sure you don't do this in an aggressive way...

[ReadyorNot]

There has been three choices my fiance made that at the time I said there was no way I could deal with them. I honestly told him that I thought I would have to break up with him if he made these choices. I was not threatening this, I was just simply telling him because I honestly thought I couldnt deal with it.

 

Everything has turned out fantastic. His most recent choice was to join the Canadian Forces. I cried and cried, and couldnt believe he could really do this to us. For me, it meant BREAK UP! He was going to be gone for so long! I dont want to move far away from my family either. If I went with him, this also slighty messes up my chances of getting the job I want...

 

Well, he still applied and assured me it was the only choice for him if he wanted to have a good career making good money. He said he wanted to make a good life for us. What made it easier was he said he wanted me to come along after bootcamp, I was much happier about that. He is in his 3rd week of Bootcamp and we are getting married in 9 months. After this he goes for 54 weeks of training and now I wont be able to come until March 2006 because I may have a good job offer. I am doing fine, and lucky for me, he is 4 hours away and will be coming home every weekend in another 2 weeks.

 

What I am trying to say (sorry so long) is things DO work out.. stick it out.. see how it goes! I got through his other two choices when I thought there was no way it could work!

[Tully]

Thankyou for all your replies. I am in my final year of a psychology degree in Australia, and despite all that I have learned, it is hard to see matters logically when they are happening to you. Its good to get other perspectives. Cheers.