What can I do...?

[truthbetold]

I haven't written anything in a while in here; but a lot has still been on my mind. Me and my mother had a big fight yesterday. I know this might be long but...

 

Here's some background. I love my mother, but she is not always a good person. She is very manipulative. She has opened my mail (birthday invitations, and bills) without telling me, forged my name to cash my checks and borrow money, borrowed money from my room or wallet than told me later and never paid me back, used my car without permission...etc. Unfortunately my mother is a gambleaholic (sp?) and so I know none of the money is going to a good cause. She prides herself in the fact that every month she manages to pay the bills and still get her fun in all while treating me like trash. Oh my mom and dad have been divorced since I was six after 10 years of marriage, and my step father and mother have just separated after 10yrs. I have an older sister and a younger sister. My younger sister is from my mothers second marriage and I have been babysitting her since she was born, I was about 10. She is more like my own child then my sister and I'm not the only one who believes so. When I was 12 my older sister moved in with my father because her and my mom where always at each others throats. That is when my mom began treating me bad, as far as I can recall. She has called me selfish, worthless, useless, pathetic and such, and it has hurt me deeply. I never really had a life after that point because I was always watching my little sister while my mom was working or out, (my step dad was usually home at night, but to make matters worse he is an alcoholic and would just pass out whenever he got home) Last year I even chaperoned 2 school field trips because my mom signed me up for them.

 

(*Sry to editors or admis or anyone who started reading this post, I have to go pick up a friend from work, I will add more when I get back. Thank you all)

[DN]

While you are gone - is it possible for you to go live with your Dad?

[Alabama]

It sucks how your mother has treated you all these years. You definetly don't deserve this. I concur with DN. See if you can live with your dad. Good luck!

[truthbetold]

It is possible for me to go and live with my dad. He has been trying to convince me to do it for years... problem is, my mom always guilt trips me. I can't get myself to actually do it even though I know I'm going through hell. I always end up with the lecture about how my mother was treated as a kid and how she never wanted to do that to her kids, and frankly she's doing the same damn thing...and some! I love my youngest sister with all my heart, I would do absolutely anything for her, and including giving my my happiness and childhood like a have done, but people keep telling me that I should do more for myself and stop doing everything for everyone else...considering my mom calls me selfish it's hard to even listen to these people. It's hard to grasp the fact that my mom is the way she is, I love her and she is supposed to be someone I trust and care about, but she puts me down all the time.

 

The other thing that was under consideration my oldest sister wanted to call child services on my mother. Because she is always gambling...and it's neglectful... I mean, I love my mother and I really don't want to see anything happen, but I have also been told that she is like my oldest sister and won't change until she hits rock bottom... and if that's the case I don't my little sister going for the ride. BUT I can prevent all of that if I just stay here and live my life the way I have been. But like everyone else no one can see why I would rather stay in misery than atempt a chance at a better life. I am 19yrs old, I still have time to play with, if I can break away.

[DN]

You cannot save your little sister if you cannot save yourself.

 

Go live with your Dad, learn to be strong and independent without the albatross of your mother's problems around your neck. You can still keep in contact with your sister and it may be that if you can get your life in order you will at some point be able to take her to live with you.