Overcoming Shyness in Class

[trucker119]

Hi everyone. It is so hard for me to overcome shyness in my college classes. I am always quiet, but the way I sit and face other students, makes me look like I am outgoing. It is hard to explain that, but it seems like I am missing important moments to say something. I dont want to look stupid in class, which is holding me back to an uncomfortable/boring level. There are some girls in different classes I would like to get to know, but the only thing we share is eye contact in class, and that is only for about 5 seconds before they sit down. Sometimes, I get the chance to meet up with someone, but then shyness pulls me away and makes me act a lot more formal. I was paying attention to one girl in my class; one day she was far away from me, the next day she sat right next to me, and the day after that, she was sitting next to me again until a friend told her to come sit somewhere else. I really feel like I just shot down whatever I could of had. Any advice??? Also, these girls I make eye contact with, I dont know when its the right time to talk to them, or what to say. Is it too ackward walking up to someone after class and introducing yourself??

[heloladies21]

Don't beat yourself up about failure. It's part of the learning process. If you keep trying, you'll become more confortable with yourself and talking in class and to women.

 

Eye contact is very important. And the best time to talk to a girl is ASAP with no hesitation. Don't wait for the next time, or until you think of something clever to say, timing is everything. Introducing yourself is fine, but mentioning something funny that happened in class would be better. Can lead to a good conversation too.

 

Keep at it friend. You're already taking the first steps to getting good at this.

[DiscipleOfChange]

trust me dude, I'm going through, kind of getting over the same thing. Before this semester, I had never seriously talked to girls in my class about non class stuff, but I made a summer resoultion and made a change of myself, both physically and mentally. So I just jumped off the cliff this semester, talking with random people and introducing myself. Now, I have my face out there and a number of people know me, both guys and girls and being known is a good thing. You gotta take a leap and believe me, it will bring results, it may take time, but every small step counts. In a way, it is like losing weight, significant weight loss takes time, and effort and you do it one pound at a time. So too is interacting with women, you have to start somewhere and let things roll. If nothing happens, then its all cool and you move on.

 

As far as what to say goes, start with,

"Hi, how are ya?, I'm x.

-When she tells you her name say "Nice to meet you Y, so, are you a freshman, sophmore...?

-Whatever she says, give a positive response like if she's in the same grade as you ssay" Great, Me too!"

-If she says she's in another class, comment that you know other people in that grade (if you do) otherwise, ask her what other classes she's in

- when she tells you, ask her how they're going, which one's she likes etc.

-Ask her if she's involved in any clubs on campus

- Ask about any hobbies she might have outside of school

- By this time, you may be thinking of questions based on answers she's give. Ask Them!

 

 

That's what I've done, and it seems to be working out for me, I'm not chatting everyone I meet up like that though, but I'm working on doing it more often.

 

All it takes is for you to take that first step

 

YOU CAN DO IT

[genz44]

I was the same as you in high school and college until I got a job in retail. When you're basically required to talk to girls of all ages, it helps loosen you up in similar situations at school.

 

I'll give you a very recent example about a class of mine. So it's the first day and I'm late. I sit somewhere in the back and scan the room for any interesting people or old classmates. I see a girl up in the front row who seems outgoing and interesting...and the fact I think she's attractive didn't hurt either. So I decided to move myself up to the front row next time.

 

Second day, I move my butt up to the front row sort of next to her. This was a pretty big step for me since I never been in the front row before and I certainly never changed my seat like that before. A couple classes later, I decided to say something...anything. At the end of class, she made a joke to the teacher about something and I jumped in with my own joke. She laughed a bit and we ended up trading related jokes until we left the building.

 

The next day I arrived early like usual. This happens often and everyone in my class has to wait outside for the previous class to finish. So she shows up and tells me she has a headache. We end up joking about things again and laugh a good bit before class starts. No conversation after class, though.

 

Now with my complete inability to "read" women, watch as I stumble through the rest of the semester trying to steer a conversation towards asking her out sometime. Like the other guy said, just say something and see where it takes you. Good luck.

[DiscipleOfChange]

until I got a job in retail. When you're basically required to talk to girls of all ages, it helps loosen you up in similar situations at school.

 

That is so true. One reason I'm probably having an easier time is because of the retail job I got over the summer. I didnt think about it until now how much it paid off socially.

 

~Mark