How to proceed

[DiscipleOfChange]

Okay, here's a brief synopsis of events so far:

 

Last Friday or Saturday night, a friend and I go over to our old dorm and say hi to people. We go upstairs and meet the female RA and talk for a bit.

 

The next day, I realize 'hey that girl was cute' and decide I want to get to know her better so I send her an email saying how it was nice talking with her and asking for her IM

 

She replies that she doesn have internet in her room but she was sure she'd see me plenty around campus

 

I send an email back saying that not having IM was fine and that I too was sure we'd see each other on campus but maybe we should grab coffe if we dont

 

She doesnt reply after 2 days so I go over to say 'hi' again. She has friends over so I meet them and hang out for a few minutes. She had to go to an RA meeting so I walk out woth her and ask if she likes coffee. she said yes and then I say 'would you like to grab a cup of coffe sometime?' She says yes and I ask her for her number and she gives it to me and I say I'll call

 

I call and leave a message about setting up a time and day to grab that cup of coffee at about 11:30 Am today and have yet to hear back.

 

She isn't in her room very much and is busy. And besides, I know that 12 hours is WAY too soon to be getting worked up and so Im relatively relaxed. Im just kind of excited because this is the first time Ive ever asked a girl to have a coffee with me. And on top of that she said yes.

 

So, a few questions.

 

1. How long should I wait after no response before I contact her again

1a. If I do end up contacting her again (assuming we dont bump into each other around campus) should I call and leave another message or go over and talk to her when she's in her room?

 

2. I've been told that I should wait until we've had coffe twice or a few times before popping a dinner question. what do you all think?

 

3. How does this linear progression of events look?

 

coffee x number of times --> Dinner--> movie in my room

 

Well, thanks to those of you who have taken the time to read this far and I appreciate any advice you might offer.

 

~Mark

[Natedoggld182]

dont contact her, let her contact you. If you try again you will come off as creepy and that will be the end of it. You have to play it cool, pretend that you don't care if you do have coffee with her (even though you do), I mean don't ignore her or anything, if you see her say hi and ask her how its going, there has to be that feeling of unplanned meeting at the same place. and DONT bring up getting coffee everytime you see her, it will come off as pushy and she will pull back.

 

From my experience, girls will very curious about guy who don't directly hit on them and when you make them feel like they are just another girl in the hall then they will want you. CONFIDENCE is everything, hang out in groups and dont just talk to her, talk to other girls, if she has any interest in you this will spark some jealousy and you will notice. TRUST ME.. Act like your not completely interested and if she is you will know eventually. Oh and stay away from the dinner thing.

 

If she is interested in you or curious, the longer you do this the more she will want to get to know you. and I've been through the college thing and trust me this will work!!!

[Natedoggld182]

I can't emphasize this enough, DONT CONTACT HER AGAIN!!!! You've already made it clear you would like to get to know her.

 

I have talked to some of my ladies friends about this and with some girls this is like a messed up test, if you get freaked out and go to visit just her and email all the time or phone her = FAIL

Act like its no big deal, talk to other girls in front of her, act like you're extremely busy = PASS.

 

I hope this helps

[heloladies21]

Do not double call her. If she's interested in you, she'll call back. If she doesn't call back, she's not interested in you, don't call her again and don't go talk to her anymore.