a question for my age group 18-24s

[workaholic]

Besides going to cool events, do you believe that there is nothing else that you can do (that you have in common) with your friends or acquaintances?

 

What can your friends do for you, and what can you do for your friends?

 

Because wouldn't it just be simplier to just have one boyfriend or girlfriend? (of course you might feel jealous of other people who have big or small groups instead of being by themselves or with their SO, completely out of the loop of social life)

[RayKay]

Well, I am 26 now...but I was 18-24 for a very long time...6 years in fact and its not that long ago that I remember...

 

I think yes indeed there are many things you can have in common with friend s - not just going to "cool events" though those are good for a fun time. Friends enrich our lives in many ways, the right kind of friends anyway. I have friends of all sorts, some that are great for going for drinks and lots of talking with, others that are great to compete athletically with or against, to train with...I have friends whom I can count on when I am having troubles or stress in my life, others who are just there for good times, some who are there for camping, some whom are there to go out on the town with. This morning for example I did a 100 kilometre bike road race with some of my friends and acquaintances, and it was a fun, enlightening day...and lots of time to have some interesting conversations while doing something we all enjoy together (makes 100 k go by MUCH faster!).

 

I would not say its simpler to have gf or bf, it means you end up putting too much of your social value and network on that person, which is stressful for them, and generally does not create a positive result.

 

Partners, like friends, should enrich our lives - not create it for us. I count my partner as my very best friend, and we do many things together, but we also both realize the importance of having both mutual, and separate friends in order to be complete people and friendships are valuable too in sense your partner is not the one who should carry the burden of being your "only friend" - it my expereince it creates neediness, clinginess and not a good equal relationship..which often ends up crashing and burning. And then you realize, you have no friends to turn to for a help through the bad times....

 

Friends truly enrich our lives in various ways...its not a matter of "what you can do for them, or they can for you" as thats a very simplistic and mechanical way of looking at it...

[Jinx]

Besides going to cool events, do you believe that there is nothing else that you can do (that you have in common) with your friends or acquaintances?

 

For those I consider friends, outings are just a small portion of what deems the friend part of it all. We share hobbies/interests, we can converse freely with one another, we understand viewpoints, there is respect, there is both the physical and emotional bonds (friendship ones that is).

 

Whereas acquaintances, they're nice. They have to have something in common with me usually (Or else there isn't anything that made us meet initially unless I felt like being social one day). We acknowledge each other exist but not essential for events or conversation. They can be included if it works. There just isn't the same connection that you can pull them over and be proud to say - So and So have all this and we've known each other for X amount of years. There will be the moments you have with acquaintances, but they come and go, and they're easier to let go of.

 

A good friend leaves, depending how close it can be devastating and you're connected via the friendship heart strings (Or at least for me, anyways, connected by some sort of "life string" that keeps you together and that feeling of true friendship.)

 

What can your friends do for you, and what can you do for your friends?

For me, my idea is, friends are there for each other. You're not left out to hang, they are concerned about your well being as you are their own. You listen to one another, you help one another. When one hits a rut the other is there to pull them out if possible. You respect and stand up for each other (When its resonable of course).

 

Because wouldn't it just be simplier to just have one boyfriend or girlfriend?

No. I don't think it would be. Through my past relationships, you have different issues. Sure there are those that are similar but if you're having relationship problems or life problems or even something concerning that bf or gf, who are you going to go to? Sure you'll talk to them eventually if they'll listen. Then there are some issues they won't understand or be interested in like a friend would. There are just certain things that are friend topics, and some are just relationship topics. If you find someone open enough to cover all of them, you've a good match I assume. I do think in a lot of cases we are closer in certain ways to friends than a partner, and visa versa. Of course friends can become partners, but only in certain circumstances. From what I've been through, I'd never trade in my friends for a singular being (bf or gf). My take on the issue. I'd like to have a bit of both worlds, because if one crashes, and you only have one, you're alone.

[Alabama]

I would definetly say there are other things to do. You could simlply talk. Sometimes, when I hang out with friends, it's enjoyable to have a good conversation. Whether it's about politics, a nice debate, or a personal problem. It is nice to have fun once in a while, but than there are other moments in life, too. The moments that you can be deep.