Swirl of emotions

[petalbud]

Ive had a bit of a rollercoaster day 2day, One minute im up, the next minute, Im close to tears.

Sometimes, I feel like i Can get better and I can stay on top of it, But now, I cant sleep, Its 1:00am in the morning, Cant sleep beacuse Ive been up crying my eyes out.

I suffer from an OCD,. - Im scared of goign out, Scared of the outside world. the world is too big and scary and people are so judgemental and hypocritical to be trusted. Icant tell them my story.

Ive also had Trichotilomania in which i PUll out my hair for over 12 years. I just made another patch in my hair over the last 2 days.,which has atteracted unwanted stares and questions from people,.I have 3 patches all together now. Its so embarrassing, Im so ashamed of myself.

My parents know about this, but they dont *do* OCD's. and they think my hair pulling is just me attention seeking; They just cant accept the fact that their daughter has an OCD.

 

im just sick of it all. I feel like i need to blank out, just to escape reality for a while. im tired of the pain, the tears, the struggle. Everyday is a struggle to maintain my fragile sanity.

i feel like an alien, Like I dont belong anywhere.liike thers something fundamentally wrong with me Im sick of pretending im okay when im really not.

all my friends say im really nice and reliable n trustworthy. but I feel like theres another side to me which is the total oppostie of my good side. being nice just comes naturally,. i always think about other people , if theyre okay and howre theyre feeling and i always buy little gifts for my friends,.but Im scared that maybe im really a bad person inside. Like me being nice is just a cover up, that in time, my "niceness" would wear away, and my real horrible, mean side would come out.

i feel like i feel to much, my emotions are too strong, too intense. im too sensitive.

 

im just sick of all the tears,. I cant sleep cuz im crying my eyes out. I have to get up in the morning and pretend im okay...

when would the tears stop??

[DN]

Stop pretending you are ok. Get an appointment with your GP and tell him/her what your problem is and ask for a referral to a psychiatrist or psychologist..

 

If necessary tell your parents you need to see the doctor for some other reason.

[HaloDestroyer]

I PM'd you.

[Alabama]

Sometimes when we see our sanity start to wear away...we think it's the end. It isn't. There is always a chance to recover. Get help. Then, the recovery can begin. Good luck.

[toad4466]

I know how hard it is for you, i have the same trouble sometimes. But the power within you will win. We both know that deep down. Keep getting help for this, and dont give up, Me and all the others here are there for you!

Scarecrow

[Tigris]

I agree with DN you need help from a Psychiatrist or a Psychologist. Go and see your G.P. and ask for help.

 

Good luck and take care.