So Utterly Confused.

[DanceWithMe02]

I have been friends with this guy for about 4 months and I feel like he's being so secretive about telling me the simple stuff. I know that he's comfortable around me and comfortable telling me what's bothering and stuff like that, but when I first asked him when his birthday was I had to keep asking him and it took me about a month to get it out of him. Whenever we hang out it's either at the mall, the movies, a theme park, or at my place or someone else's place, the thing is we were planning on going to Six Flags this weekend and I was just like, "I'll come over to your place and we'll take your car." He immediately made an excuse to pick me up at my place instead of me going to his. There's something about him not wanting to know where he lives yet friends who aren't as close to him as I am, I hear over all the time when I'm on the phone with him, and everytime I ask for his address he'll bring up an excuse not to give it to me. The thing is he can tell me things that he's never told anyone else, and we've been great friends for 4 months...it bothers me that he's keeping something so small from me. So I want some input on this. Is there something wrong with me? Thanks all.

[MetallicAguy]

He probably doesn't want you to meet his family or he's ashamed/embarrassed of himself because he actually likes you. I guarantee he won't admit it if you ask him but he probably does and will come out with it sooner or later. Nothing is wrong with you, he's just being insecure and not coming out with his deep down secret; that he likes you.

[Alabama]

I don't think it's you. He is probably ashamed about his family or something about himself. If you want to eventually go to his house, then approach the subject slowly and carefully.

[swedeace]

Maybe his parents and/or family are super strict they rag on him for having friends. That was my first thought when I read your post. I remember my parents being very strict too. I never had friends over (if so, it was so rare), and I had this weird phone situation going on where my dad "locked up" the phone. When people wanted to call me, I'd try and slip away or even make excuses up. I bet they were wonderng the same thing you have written.

 

My advice would be to just be a friend to him. Maybe in the longrun, he'd feel more comfortable in telling you. Consider this: He may just not be really good at talking about this aspect in his life. Just have the patience.

[smallworld]

Hey Dance, are you sure this guy isn't an international spy? Ok seriously, he may be ashamed of his family, but it seems odd he stalled telling you his birthday. Hmm. You know what? It doesn't matter why he's being secretive. It just matters that he IS. If you can talk just about anything, now's the time to talk about why he feels the need to be so secretive. Ask him! You deserve to know!!!