DI93 Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 OK. Since I am home for the summer, i have been helping my parents out. I have done the cooking, cleaning, dry cleaners etc. I wanted to do these things because i am home and not working. What i am doing is helping my mother out. If I didn't do these things, then she would have to. I don't want her to because she works all day and I think she needs a break. I even gave her money to help paid her credit cards. Ok. The problem is this: my Dad wanted me to go somewhere with him and help read the directions and I couldn't go. I didn't want to go. The place was in a bad and dangerous neighborhood and i didn't feel safe going there with him in the night. I told him this and he didn't care. My mother is angry at me because I didn't go with him. She said that family does things like that and i don't do anything to help out around here. Now I wanted to tell her everything i have done for her, but when i went to say it, I couldn't. She hurt me. Why can't she see that i love her, and how come what i do for her, she doesn't notice or appreciate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lifeiscash Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 Maybe she chooses not to see it.. I think you should have a talk with her and let her know that you do care and that you are there for her. Let her realize how much you have been helping out around the house and tell her you don't appreciate the fact that you aren't being appreciated. Just have a talk with her and everything should turn out alright. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hope75 Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 Did you give your mom your reason for not going? Why was your dad going anyway? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jna35 Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 Yikes, I don't blame you for not wanting to go into a dangerous neighborhood. I would've stayed home too!! I think sometimes people "expect" their parents or in your case their children to do things for them. That's really unfair. Yes, families should help each other out, which by the way I think it's wonderful how much you have been helping around the house!! I am sorry that you are feeling unappreciated. I would, in a nice way, tell your mom how much that statement hurt your feelings. My folks do that sometimes, mostly my dad, and I'm almost 36, lol!! I've just kind of learned to roll with it over the years. Something that helps me is to give without ANY expectations. That way if I don't get a thank you or the appreciation I think I deserve, it doesn't bother me because I did whatever the chore/favor simply because I WANTED to do it. If they continue to behave that way, you could always stop doing things for them for a while. I think they will notice the difference! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DI93 Posted July 29, 2005 Author Share Posted July 29, 2005 Hope, I told her why i didn't want to go. I even told my dad we could go in the afternoon tomorrow. I didn't do those things to get a thanks or anything ( which she never once said thanks). I did them so that she would have to do them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted July 30, 2005 Share Posted July 30, 2005 You may have hurt your Dad's feelings. Yes, he may have wanted directions but he may also have wanted your company and felt hurt that you didn't want to be with him and thought your reason was just an excuse - or that you didn't trust him to be able to protect you. People misinterpret things very easily and that is especially true within families. Particularly, when you have left home and only home for the summer. Maybe your Mom also over-reacted because she could see that he was hurt and lashed out. Again, people say things sometimes that they don't really mean. Take the high road and talk to them. Tell them that you love them, that you are helping out and didn't mean to hurt or disrespect anyone. Better to do that and not spoil a summer at home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jna35 Posted July 30, 2005 Share Posted July 30, 2005 Yes, I see that you did those things out of the goodness of your heart and I hope you didn't think that I thought otherwise. It's too bad your mom hasn't let you know how much she appreciates you. Maybe she doesn't know how or doesn't think she has to. O.K., maybe she doesn't "have" to, but it sure is nice ot hear every now and then. I also agree with DN here. Sit down and talk to them. Nothing will get resolved otherwise and you'll end up spending the summer feeling miserable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hope75 Posted July 30, 2005 Share Posted July 30, 2005 Ditto, If you talk to them and let them know how you feel, I'm sure they will see it was a misunderstanding and everyone will feel better. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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