sorryJason Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 I know the last part doesn't really work, but here it is! Let me be your wings Let me be your wings, let me lift you above the things that hurt and fly you up to love Let me be your angel Let let me lift up your soul let me take you places you thought you'd never know Let me be your sun lighting up the dark let me heal the pain that has torn us upart Let me be your love I can take you higher higher than heaven above and set you free, with my love Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arwen Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 I like this poem. It's really good! I agree on the last part, but I wouldn't know how to change it In my opinion, the first three parts form one whole, and it can be just a great poem without the last. Ilse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lunatic Posted July 28, 2005 Share Posted July 28, 2005 I really liked your poem Jay and it does seem that we are on the same wave lengh in terms of pain. If your getting relief from your poetry then please keep going. Right now this is the only outlet that seems to help me sort out my feelings. Your poem was really good and I do agree with the end part. I dont really know how I would arrange it to make it work. You might want to play around with the wording a bit. I really should not talk because my poems suck. I love your work bro keep them coming. I have to admit that I have not felt this crappy in a very long time. I hate this feeling in my heart that will not let me perk up. I have been so depressed and misurable since this whole thing fell apart and we broke up. I feel so badly and I dont know how I am to cope anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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