Really Upset Today

[Jetta]

I am just so sad today. I had my daughter's 3 year check and the doctor said her speech should be clearer, she wanted to check her hearing but was unable to (she wouldn't cooperate). She says if we don't notice improvement in 6 months that I'd have to start her in speech therapy. Here I thought her language skills were really picking up.

 

There are just so many difficulties in my life I'm not doing well with anything negative being added to the list. I feel so defeated. I feel like I'm dying. I just keep crying.

 

Of course if her hearing is bad it's my fault, because I listen to music too loudly for one thing. And then there's the time she got sick and her eardrum burst, the doctor said it healed fully but who really knows. Of course that would be my fault for not noticing her sickness soon enough and getting her to the doctor. My son brought home strep, snuck food, and infected the entired family because he used a spoon more than once in the half-gallon of ice cream while he was contagious. Not ever having strep or anyone around me having it I just didn't know. A sore throat is usually my sign I'm coming down with a virus so I figured we just had colds. Everyone acted fine just had coldlike symptoms.

 

I'm just feeling really rough today and wondering what the point of it all is. I need fun and joy in my life, not more hardship and heartache. I can't take anymore.

[Swimbaby]

I'm sorry that you are going through some rough times. My first bit of advice is that things could always be worse. Your daughter could be completely deaf. Secondly, it is not your fault for your daughter's hearing. These things happen.

 

Speech therapy is not necessarily a bad thing. I know a lot of people who had to go to speech therapy when they were younger. It seems to becoming more common. On the brightside, at least you know that you have a good doctor for noticing these things.

 

It sounds to me that you need someone to talk to. Perhaps there's a friend you could call or meet up with. Also, seeing a therapist doesn't hurt either. My mom goes through a lot of rough days that are similar to yours very often. (I have a younger sister who is metally handicapped and very uncooperative, among other issues) Sometimes she'll go to me to talk, or call up one of her friends, and others she goes to her therapist.

 

On a lighter note, you could always turn to the best cure-all of them all: chocolate. It solves everything.

 

I hope this helps. Good luck

[arwen]

Hey Jetta!

 

Maybe the perspective of a linguist can help here, I can imagine this is quite a shock for you but please keep in mind that although there is a certain 'norm' for children's language development, there are really intrapersonal differences. Things like these are best early-detected and early treated.

 

I can understand you are worried about her hearing, but if she speaks, she can't be completely deaf. If she is indeed impaired to a certain degree in her hearing, speech therapy will be very effective when she is at such a young age. You are a responsible mom, you had her checked like you should have, and you couldn't have noticed anything earlier because it is perfectly normal for a 2 year old to have blurry speech.

 

Perception of speech develops much sooner than production. She might even have 'just' (I know this would still be a shock to you, so I am having a bit difficulty formulating this) an impairment or be a bit slower in development on the motoric part of speech. Also in this case, speech therapy at a very young age is very effective.

 

I hope this helps you. Please don't blame yourself.

 

Ilse.

[Jetta]

She said if we still noticed slurred words in 6 months to bring her in for a referral. She does talk a lot, but it's not easy to understand it all.

[lonelyandblue]

I also am going through it.

All of these issues which apart are easy, but together add up and take their toll. Good luck. YOu CAN get through it.

[providentielle]

Please don't worry or blame yourself. I work with children and cared for a little boy with speech and language difficulties for three years and have recently worked alongside and language therapist for 3 months. If you haven't noticed a problem then it is probably not too bad, however if she does need speech therapy its not the end of the world, lots of children have it. There are things you can do at home to help.

 

First, she is likely to cooperate with you if you try to check her hearing. You can do this by getting objects that sound similar such as a cup and a cap or a doll and a ball. you then cover your mouth so she cant read your lips and quietly ask her to give you one of the objects, this will help you to find out how well she can hear.

 

When she is talking if she makes any mistakes dont say "its not .... its ....." you just reinforce what she says but say it back in the prooper way eg if she says i falled over you "really? you fell over? are you ok?" it shows her the right way to say it without pointing out it was wrong.

 

Also ask lots of open ended questions. That means instead of saying do you want a cheese sandwhich for lunch? Ask what do you want for lunch? This stops her just saying yes or no and helps her use language more. I hope this helps

[arwen]

I am not saying your doctor is not right! I am just offering you the perspective from linguistic science. She does need to get her hearing checked, just to locate the source of this blurry speech, if she indeed still has this 6 months from now.

 

If she talks a lot, maybe you can try the following:

 

Does she correct YOU when you repeat words she says, the way she produces them (i.e. if you say them as 'blurry' as she does)?

 

For example in Dutch, children can have some peculiar performance difficulties in the sound clusters like /pl/ and /pr/. /l/ and /r/ are in Dutch fonology closely related. Children will, even at the age of 5, mistakenly produce /pl/ where the word contains a cluster /pr/. 'Praten' (to speak), will be produced as 'platen' (which in Dutch is the plural form for the word 'plaat'- meaning 'record').

 

Experiments have shown that if you point at a picture that represents someone talking and ask the child "What is this person doing", the child can say "platen". When the experimenter would repeat this answer and say "So, this person is "platen" (talking)?", the child says "Nohooo, this person is platen!!!".

 

This means that the child HEARS (perceives) the mistake of the adult (otherwise it would have accepted the utterance of the experimenter), but fails to PRODUCE the correct word at that point of language development.

 

I am not saying this is the case, I am just saying that it might be that she is just a little slower on the production level of speech than the average. Your doctor is VERY correct in advising you this way, because children are really open to learning language and correct eventual impairments (either due to hearing or motoric difficulties) at a YOUNG age. It's really better to be safe than sorry, but don't get yourself over-stressed.

 

Just keep an eye on it and keep a diary of her speech. You can also make home-videos with her speaking, to keep track of her development.

 

Ilse.

[Cassyniner]

Oh Jetta ((Hug)) Please don't worry!! I just know your daughter will be O.K. in the long run...As a very experienced mom, and grandma now, I know it is true that different children master things at different times. Your little one is probably way more advanced in another area, than other 3 year olds. My grandson is just 16 months, and of course doesn't speak much, but his mama at that age talked up a storm. He does things well now that none of my daughters could do until well over 2 years old. Silly stuff like drinking from a straw, and the opposite, actually blowing when you hold a tissue to his nose instead if sniffling, but you get the idea. The fact that they want you to wait 6 months for a referral means your doc knows the same thing. They are just being proactive, and that is a good thing. Do not feel guilty!! One of my daughters at 9 months had a huge lump on the side of her ear once after her nap. I thought she'd fallen, but turns out that it was an ear infection, and I didn't even know!She was such a smiley baby, didn't have a cold, she'd run a slight temp the day before, but was teething.There was no way to know. But I felt soooo guilty. Especially after I rushed her to the ER and they had to do an operation to remove part of the mastiod bone behind her ear, which was also infected. They told me they hadn't routinely done that sort of surgery since before the invention of antibiotics. OMG! SOOO much guilt!! What happened later made me feel a bit better. 9 months later I had her in for a well child check up. I insisted the nurse check her ears for infection very carefully. They pohh-poohed me, actually said I was over-protective, and checked anyway. The very next day she ran a slight temp, and I rushed her to the ER again same thing,(but not as bad) no surgery this time, but three more days of IV antibiotics. And the NURSE at the doctor's office didn't catch it!! She ended up with tubes at 6, and at 18 her hearing is FINE. Kids are very resiliant!! Take care, you're a good mom, and no one takes better care of, and knows your child better than YOU do! Newer moms tend to forget how important that bond is--don't second guess it--- it's powerful.

[Jetta]

Thank you all. I hope it's nothing really. My friend pointed out that her daughter talks about as well as mine and she's slightly older. So that helped. I will still work with her, and not think her slurred words are cute. I think the real reason is she doesn't answer questions like what is your name. She point out me, or avoid the question.