Baby_Blue_Eyes Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 Im in a position now where i have been stressed an that stress is leading to making the relationship i have now which is almost perfect go down the drain.. okay here is some background info.. I grew up with out a dad so that has been somewhat emotional for me pluse my mom left me when i was 10 that made me go into a rebel stage I stayed in that for almost 5 years then I gave up. i moved on with my life finding that if neither mother or father showed love then i would find love out of my boyfriends.. Getting into one relationship that turned out abusive that left a bruise on my heart.. Now that 2 years have went by it is all coming back to haunt me.. the stress is turning into crying just thinking about it.. the relationship im in now is with a guy 1 year younger then i.. im turning 17 an he is 16.. he is understanding but i dont want to get my past out in the open because of how painful it is.. I dont want it to take over the life that i have now.. I love this guy an i dont want somethings that happened 8 years ago to effect what i have now.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
struggle4reason Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 Hey i'm going to be honest with you. If he wants to be with you he's gonna want to know, but make sure he's close enough to you to take the news without "freaking out". My gf/ex has a very hard past that I have found very little about, because she doesn't want to open up. I've read lots of self-improvement books and the biggest, most important thing to do to solve a problem with yourself is to pin point the root of the problem. You'll usually find that this is achieved through talking about it, because YOU yourself have to come to a realization. NO ONE can do it for you. Conclusion, break it down to him in increments until you can comfortably talk about it. This way he can understand why you are the way you are and you might find your own solution in the process. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lady00 Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 Sounds like you could use someone to talk to...have you tried seeing a therapist? They can be helpful, especially if you want to share about your past. You shouldn't have to keep it all inside. And another thing...sharing with your bf may be painful at first but you would be surprised how much it might help...if he is understanding and caring then telling him what you've been through might bring you closer together and make you understand each other more (your fears, hopes, dreams etc). What may be painful to tell at first may end up helping you feel better in the long run. If you're not comfy teling your bf yet then I'd suggest going to a neutral third party like a therapist who is trained to help you deal with painful things and figure out how to make yourself feel better. I think that although it's 8 years in the past, there's no use trying to bury it or forget it. It bothers you so it's best to tackle it head-on. I know you're scared but I think that if you confront your fears you might find that the things you are afraid to talk about become a little less scary. Hope that helps a little. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darkblue Posted July 2, 2005 Share Posted July 2, 2005 If you don't mind doing it - see a therapist/counsellor. This will help you sort out any 'matters of the heart' that are holding you back and bringing you down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alabama Posted July 2, 2005 Share Posted July 2, 2005 Having a painful past can really put a strain on the future. This is the truth of life. If your boyfriend is a trusting person, then try to open up to him. A therapist wouldn't be such a bad either. Not everyone is bad, there are good people you know. You just have to look. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smallworld Posted July 2, 2005 Share Posted July 2, 2005 The best way to get over the past is to talk about it with someone who loves you and work your way through it. What happened 8 years ago helped make you the beautiful person you are today. Anybody who sincerely loves you would find the past you've overcome moving, not frightening. You don't have to tell him anything you don't want to, but conversely you shouldn't feel the need to hide your past or your feelings either. Just be honest with him when things are really tough for you. In time I think you'll find that your past might just be the very thing that brings you closer together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baby_Blue_Eyes Posted July 2, 2005 Author Share Posted July 2, 2005 Thank you all so much.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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