Almost 21

[OneConfusedGuy]

I always come here to find some sort of reassurance that I'm doing something right with my life. I'm always seeking some answer that might totally change my life. But no matter what I do, I cannot motivate myself to change my dismay. I come here almost everyday and look through other people's problems, hopes and fears to find nothing. Only that I am standing still; watching my life in fast forward. I don't know what I am looking for in life, and it's almost like I refuse to find that answer. I see it in everything I do. Every decision I make in my life is the path of least resistance. I take the easy way out in every thing I do. I have literally stopped learning. I go through the same routine everyday, and have done so for the past 7-10 years of my life. School and work reflect my actions, as I do so poorly in them. For some reason I always just want "to get by." I see this attitude in %100 of my actions, especially socalizing. I don't know how to quite explain it but I know there is something lacking in every conversation that I have. Wether it be my father, the few friends that I have, or to a new face. I always seem to be the odd man out. Bah, I don't know what I am looking for when I post this. I know there isnt going to be a magical set of words that will encourage me to take the right path. I guess I just don't want to be alone in this matter. I just want to understand why I choose to take this dreadful path everyday of my life. I want to change it, but I never do. How do I jump start my life again...?

[hazlcha]

I know there isnt going to be a magical set of words that will encourage me to take the right path.

 

Absolutely right, but do you even know what the right path for you is? You can't take it if you haven't identified it. You definitely have a purpose and meaning, but need to find it - and to let it find you.

 

How to do that is something deeply personal. It starts with being still and listening to your conscience. What type of person do you truly want to be? What do you wish to accomplish in life, in the next year, week, day? What are your natural gifts and talents? How will you make your corner of the world a better place?

 

Find your passion, define your purpose, and just do a little bit to get started. Then see how you feel.

[Blackmsmithdave]

well you deffinatly are a tricky one, yes there are no magic right words. However in posting this you have made that first step. you just got onto the path and you didnt even know it.

your asking how to change you life for the better, and so doing that you have allready started to change your life for the better, in simpley seeking the advice of others, you have made the first small step, you have identified the problem and taken the first action. and you did it all without even being aware of it. it will not be that hard to do what you now persieve as impossible, beacuse everything is possible. just take a moment to think of all the people who dont do what you have done, not even been aware of it. well done

 

it sounds to me like you are walking in a circle with no direction, you have no mainstream outlet for yourself. this may have all sounded very horoscope style cheesey but find yourself a cause. dedicate some of your time to one of your areas of intrest, and something that will get you out into the world and experienceing things.

 

so what are your intrests?

that is the next question, so answer it

[Caldus]

I would actually not suggest looking for the right path in life. Fact of the matter is, I think at one time or another we were so convinced that our path in life was 'correct' and were steadfast to that belief for a long time. Then later on something (be it a dramatic event in your life or whatever) that caused you to steer away from that path and find a new one. So I think we shouldn't search for what is right, but rather just make choices that make us as an individual feel comfortable and more complete (even if making the choice entails a possibility of another change). But we must make a choice anyway even if we could dramatically change again. Does that make any sense?

[hazlcha]

I believe each person has an inner need to be meaningful in this world. That need can find many different ways of expression, unique to the person, place, and time in that person's life. One needn't feel that he is locked into a choice he made at 18 for the rest of his life. But one must not fear to make that choice when he's 18, even though he knows he might change his mind.

 

I think, further, that the ability to change one's path later on shows that the original path was a valid one. It shows that we've grown through that experience, and now we are a new person with more accomplishments under our belts. It shows that we continue to 'graduate'. So-called "wrong" decisions are those that won't let go of us, even when we know that it's time to move on.

[OneConfusedGuy]

Every post here makes sense and I appreciate every one of them. Although, it feels as though I am looking for my path. I'm somewhere stuck between two worlds and I'm not sure which path to take. Does this make any sense? I want to challenge myself to conquer any barriers that I face but instead I choose to back down or find a way around it. My path is a barrier how do I break down the walls?

[jurupa]

OneConfusedGuy if you want to break out of the "mold" or the current path your on then the easiest thing would to not take the easy way out of things. Take the hard way and see what happens. There is no right path in life. You have to make your own path. I am only one year older than you, but unlike you I had no choice but to take my path early on in life. Its is a long complicated story.

 

There is a saying "Take the bull by the horns". I don't know if you heared of it nor not, but what it means is to basically be aggressive and take control of the suitation. Once you done this you will have made a new path for your self.

[Alabama]

Breaking out of routine can be hard. It's like trying to jump start a car. Not an easy task. I suggest telling yourself to finally break out of routine. Or take a day to relax. After that relaxation day, then take your time thinking about what you want to from now on. Whether you want spice up your life, or just leave it the same. Just take things one at a time, and you'll be fine! Good luck!

[OneConfusedGuy]

Taking the bull by the horns. Yes, I have heard of this expression... and it's something I need to do. All my life someone has been there to direct me. Tell me the right path, turn me in the right direction, and for me alone to break this path is very hard. It's time to make a change. I need to find a place to start and go with it...

 

Thank you everyone!

[Alabama]

I'm glad we could help! I hope everything goes well for you!

[hazlcha]

One thought to add. Have you ever tried planning in reverse? It's a technique to accomplish a goal. What you do is describe the goal you wish to accomplish. It could be anything, even making a decision about a subject to study. It could be a creative project, like a play you want to write, or a business you want to start.

 

Then, you ask yourself "What did I do just before to achieve this goal?" Then you ask about that step what you did before that to make it doable. All the way till you gave the very first step in the project. Then you review it forwards to make sure it's a good plan, and off you go.

 

The advantage is that you clearly envision what your goal is, and then you plan the baby steps to take you there. Experimenting with it may help you find some clarity as to what you deeply want to do at this exciting stage of your life.