Napoleon Bonaparte Posted June 25, 2005 Share Posted June 25, 2005 Hmmm I notice on here that most of the guys are suffering because they end up falling for a female friend who still only sees him as a friend. That doesn't seem to happen as much to the females. They fall less for their close guy friends but have their own problem. However, and I could be wrong, it seems like the females get dumped more on here than the guys because the guys on here haven't made third base. Why do posters think that is? Is there a barrier here of communication and suffering that divides the sexes and prevents happy liasons or is it just the type of people drawn to notalone? Or maybe I (who hasn't looked THAT much) simply am mistaken, which I totally admit might be the case. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saren Posted June 25, 2005 Share Posted June 25, 2005 Well, maybe I'm a rarity. I felll hard for one of my good (at the time) male friends, and he totally was repulsed and rejected me. It was probably the most devastating thing that's ever happened to me... and now we don't talk. I think it does happen. More than you think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted June 25, 2005 Share Posted June 25, 2005 It could be that since it is still expected that guys make the first approach that they seem to be getting rejected more. If girls approached guys at about the same rate, then perhaps they would get rejected at the same sort of level. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suprema99 Posted June 25, 2005 Share Posted June 25, 2005 I can agree with that. The one thing though is that you can't get all bent out of shape for that reason. For guys who ponder that question, your never gonna get a girl. Why should girls really have to ask a guy out anyway. I still believe it's the guys job. It's insecurity if your actually afraid to approach a girl that's attractive. If she has a problem with it, on to the next one then, it's that simple. There's a fine line between females. Some are out there to hurt you cause of this very reason. It's called manhaters/lesbaians lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Napoleon Bonaparte Posted June 25, 2005 Author Share Posted June 25, 2005 Supreme girls SHOULD have to ask guys out. People should be burdened with the responsibility and decisions to pursue who they wish without gender custums. And I am stalwartly opposed to modern day femminists on 90% of their ideas and attitudes. They disgust me. But in dating, everything should be fair. That being said, I agree (although I am not sure what it had to do with my question) on the rest of what you wrote. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shes2smart Posted June 25, 2005 Share Posted June 25, 2005 Supreme girls SHOULD have to ask guys out. Personal experience....When I was single, I DID ask guys out. Plenty of 'em. Some said yes, some said no. However, in every single case, things ALWAYS worked out better long-term if the guy initiated that type of interaction. Don't know why that is. I've read lots of different theories from some sort of biological hard-wiring in the brain to "if she pursues, she comes accross as too easily available" to "maybe you're picking the wrong guys." Whatever the reason, it doesn't matter. At some point in my 30's I noticed this pattern as I was looking over my old journals. I made a conscious decision to stop asking guys out. Oddly enough, the quality of the dates I had after that were much better. Fewer in number, perhaps, but I'll take quality over quantity any day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Napoleon Bonaparte Posted June 25, 2005 Author Share Posted June 25, 2005 Shes it doesn't have anything to do with hard wiring. At least I have yet to see credible evidence for that. Anyway, part of it could have just been your luck. I do however believe culture produces possibly as much destructive force in our lives and mindsets as it does positive. I still mantain girls should have just as much responsibility in the matter as guys. God only knows (white) females are spoiled enough in society as it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Napoleon Bonaparte Posted June 25, 2005 Author Share Posted June 25, 2005 Saran, shey tell about your instances. What happened? How long were you friends for? Why was he repulsed? What did he do? Why were you manipulated? Did you know he had a gf? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Napoleon Bonaparte Posted June 26, 2005 Author Share Posted June 26, 2005 Saren I wasn't confusing the two of you. I wanted to know both your stories. I must admit having met soooo many types in this world, I am totally at a loss for words (which is very rare) about this guy. Usually there is method in every madness but this guy sounds friggin nuts. Of course he's unable to control his insecurity in a mature manner and might have abandonment issues, but without hearing more I have no clue why he acted that way...What was his past history? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saren Posted June 26, 2005 Share Posted June 26, 2005 Well, when I met him he had broken up with his nearly 2year relationship girlfriend... Other than that, who knows? He admits self-esteem issues, cowardice, and shows them. He only dates trophy girlfriends, they all have to be stark thin and tiny. He SAYS he can't stand dumb girls, but since I've never met them, I can't say. I'm sure they're snotty. He puts a lot of money and energy into impressing them. Last time I saw him, he was taking her to an expensive restaurant to which he had to call to ascertain the dress code, but was always too cheap to grab a beer with me, and then two days after that was going to Game 7 of the Playoffs (this is before the NHL lockout). Last I heard from him, they were together every bloody day. She was ALWAYS at his house (I guess he wasn't ashamed to show THAT trophy girl off...), so I dunno. Pretty hurtful in the end. I remember vehemently wishing she got hit by a bus, so he would know how *I* had felt.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suprema99 Posted June 26, 2005 Share Posted June 26, 2005 Hey napoleon, I understand about everything being equal like you said. I agree. However, I don't ever see the roles being completley reversed like that. I think that the term male is still considered dominant over the term female. I really don't think this will ever change. But if feminists out there want to change history, goodluck then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Napoleon Bonaparte Posted June 26, 2005 Author Share Posted June 26, 2005 Supr femminists irritate me to no end. Blah. I don't think taking the initative really has anything to do with being dominant. But i think if men and (esp) women did have to deal with what the other went through it would 1. Help people find the right mates (or at least have more good sex) quicker. 2. It would improve communication between the two genders and help them become more self-reliant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Napoleon Bonaparte Posted June 26, 2005 Author Share Posted June 26, 2005 Saren this guy sounds like a grade A loser. If spending money on girls and demanding they be rail thin is what he wants to do then the loser deserves the kind of relationships he's gonna get. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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