not getting along well with people as I think I am

[sfboi415]

I've noticed a pattern.

I meet people, we talk, then a period of time begins where the rest of the group talks with each other but they rarely go up to me to iniate a conversation. Or, if there isn't a group present..the original person who I talked to has their constant attention on the third person.

 

When something like that happens, is it usually something wrong with me? Does race play into this?

[Jetta]

It's probably the way to converse more than anything. Do you monopolize the conversations? Interrupt? Don't listen? Etc. Just a few things to think about.

[sfboi415]

I listen and offer good feedback. I admit that I could make my feedback more indepth. I am not a Talker so I don't monopolize the conversations. Some of my responses might be shallow though. "Yeah, that's right, uh huh, ok, cool!,

 

and so on. But other people make those same responses as well.

I give people eye contact when we talk and I don't stare them down.

 

for my responses, I've added something that was relevant to the conversation..from my own personal experiences or something that I just know. "Yeah, I feel you on that man. My brother is the same way. He.."

 

Maybe I need to be more sympathetic. Most people talk about what they shoulda, coulda, woulda done or they talk about situations where they almost got involved in a scrape with someone, or something that personally affected them happened. "My car got stolen. Someone shot my dog!

 

Ok, that last one was far-fetched!

 

i try not to offer advice because some people aren't looking for that. I think my biggest problem is that I don't enfuse my conversations with enough positive energy or attitude. I can't recall an extreme situation where a person felt down, and then after I talked with the person he/she started laughing and began to feel better.

[Alabama]

Sometimes, if people don't add some emotion to their speaking, then the conversation can seem dull and uninteresting. Try to listen and 'feel' what the person is talking about. That way they get a sense you're paying attention and thus will want to talk with you more. Good luck!