I like her and she likes me but…

[RedKaiser]

Me and this girl are both enrolled in the same university and ever since we came in as Freshmen I noticed her but didn’t really pay attention until last year where me and her had our first conversation together and she even admitted that she felt an interest in me since then. Fast forward to summer and we’re playing iMessage games and etc. And when this school year started back up she tells me that she likes me and I was pretty excited ngl. And for like a month or two we’ve been talking and getting to know each other and bonding. We even had a positive effect on one another (ex. Me smiling more and Her being more social). Then out of nowhere her ex slithers in and just derails her attention and now we’re in an awkward predicament where she likes both of us but only one is really caring(me) and the other doesn’t really care and just wants someone to keep him company until he can just throw her away. For God’s sakes the man mistreated her throughout their relationship and took advantage of her self esteem. She didn’t do anything intimate with him and she honestly is suffering the most through this and she just needs someone to care for her. And honestly I want to talk to her still and eventually be in a relationship with this woman but idk what to do. Do I wait for her to eventually come back or do I just cut my losses and leave. And while I’ve tried to throw this situation aside and move on with my life I can’t. It’s like something is telling me to fight for this. Idk

[SophiaG]

I don’t think she’s ready for another relationship unfortunately. I’d tell her you’d love to date her but can’t stay in the picture while she’s still involved with her ex. Let her reach out to you if/when she makes up her mind to ditch the ex.

[rockyghost54]

18 minutes ago, SophiaG said:

I don’t think she’s ready for another relationship unfortunately. I’d tell her you’d love to date her but can’t stay in the picture while she’s still involved with her ex. Let her reach out to you if/when she makes up her mind to ditch the ex.

[catfeeder]

I'd tell her that I don't want to influence her, so I'm walking away. She's welcome to contact me if she's ever free and clear of the ex and is completely over him.

Sticking around to orbit her would be the most unsexy thing you could do. Let her finish her old business. You'll thank yourself later.

[ShySoul]

First women were we had mutual feelings for each other had the same situation happen. Just as we were testing the waters for something serious, an ex came back in her life. She had never got over him, despite him doing very questionable things in the past. They had been physical despite not having sex. She was torn between the two of us and didn't want to hurt either of us, or herself.

I made clear my intentions, being open and honest. I told her I wanted to be with her and that I wasn't going to give up on us because I thought we had something special. But I respected her enough to give her all the time she needed to make up her own mind. I respected the history she had with the other guy and told her she owed it to herself to resolve her feelings on her own, without anyone pressuring her or trying to make her choose. I stayed friends with her and kept talking to her. 

Pretty soon after the other guy revealed the real him, the one that had hurt her before. She put an end to it for good. And then she turned to me, the one who had been there for her as a friend and never wavered in my love and support.

Love is worth fighting for. If you believe it is worth the fight, then fight for it. Do it in a loving way, showing her that you support her and want her happiness above all else. Be the strong, supportive friend who continues to be there and care for her. Give her the space and time she needs, but don't give up on it if that isn't what you are feeling.

It worked out for me. I hope it will work out for you.

[TeeDee]

Do you want a GF or a fixer-up project.  If she so silly as to go back to man who was awful to her, let him have her.  You need to find a woman who has some self respect.