A card for my co-worker

[woodsrose10]

Hey everyone,

I can’t thank you all enough for helping me with my social-communication issues! You’ve definitely saved my behind more than  once, and I know you’ll continue to do so. 🙂 For that I’m so grateful.

Long story short: I became very emotional at work yesterday. I sat in Ami’s office and talked everything over with her. She was beyond amazing and made me feel so much better. Obviously. I want to give her a special card expressing my thanks. I already sent her a text saying “Thanks again for your kindness and patience Amy 🌹”

She texted me back “Hi Deirdre I hope you’re feeling better today! I’ll see you tomorrow 😊 “

Naturally, I want to give her (and another supervisor who was there) a card thanking them for my rough time. Perhaps a small gift, also? Like a gift card?

All ideas/feedback needed and welcome! Thank you!

[yogacat]

38 minutes ago, woodsrose10 said:

Hey everyone,

I can’t thank you all enough for helping me with my social-communication issues! You’ve definitely saved my behind more than  once, and I know you’ll continue to do so. 🙂 For that I’m so grateful.

Long story short: I became very emotional at work yesterday. I sat in Ami’s office and talked everything over with her. She was beyond amazing and made me feel so much better. Obviously. I want to give her a special card expressing my thanks. I already sent her a text saying “Thanks again for your kindness and patience Amy 🌹”

She texted me back “Hi Deirdre I hope you’re feeling better today! I’ll see you tomorrow 😊 “

Naturally, I want to give her (and another supervisor who was there) a card thanking them for my rough time. Perhaps a small gift, also? Like a gift card?

All ideas/feedback needed and welcome! Thank you!

I think it's overkill, but if you want to, just make a nice card expressing your gratitude. Also, why does 'naturally' mean buying yourself into favor? Just be appreciative of their time and let it be. 

[Batya33]

I would not do so at work.  What I would do is if you ever hear of her being involved with a charity or nonprofit offer to make a donation in her honor.  

[woodsrose10]

1 minute ago, yogacat said:

I think it's overkill, but if you want to, just make a nice card expressing your gratitude. Also, why does 'naturally' mean buying yourself into favor? Just be appreciative of their time and let it be. 

When I got home that night I told my mom about the situation. She agreed it was very sweet of Ami but also said that I “shouldn’t treat Ami as a therapist. She’s not there to help with your problems, she’s your supervisor. This one time is fine, but you shouldn’t keep going to her when you’re having a tough time.”

 

[woodsrose10]

4 minutes ago, woodsrose10 said:

This one time is fine, but you shouldn’t keep going to her when you’re having a tough time.”

 

This actually hasn’t been the first time I went to Ami with a problem that resulted in my tears. 😢 After I met up with that guy friend who helped me through my tough year of high school, I was very emotional the next day. (I hadn’t been with a guy in so long. Perhaps some of you read that thread on here; I felt guilty and wanted to tell my parents, but you all said that was not necessary given my age.) I told Ami about it and she agreed that if I wanted to tell my mom that I met with a guy friend that’s fine, but mentioning anything else wouldn’t be needed.  (I repeat: I cried as I told her.)

of course she was amazing and helped me feel better. 💐 I really think I should give her a card.

[woodsrose10]

12 minutes ago, woodsrose10 said:

of course she was amazing and helped me feel better. 💐 I really think I should give her a card.

I feel I should write something like this:

”Dear Ami,

I have been with Roche Bros for the past 11 years; for some reason, this past year 2024 has been my toughest. And during those times when I needed care and help, you didn’t hesitate to stop and listen. You then immediately offered me your expert advice in a thoughtful, kind, and patient way.  Thank you for existing, Ami!! Never stop being the caring, gracious, empathetic, sensitive person that I (and so many others) love! You inspire me to be a better person! Please feel free to contact me if you would like to pursue a friendship outside of work. I would love that! If you’d rather not, I understand. 
thanks again for everything you’ve done!

Love always,

Deirdre 

[woodsrose10]

1 hour ago, woodsrose10 said:

I feel I should write something like this:

”Dear Ami,

I have been with Roche Bros for the past 11 years; for some reason, this past year 2024 has been my toughest. And during those times when I needed care and help, you didn’t hesitate to stop and listen. You then immediately offered me your expert advice in a thoughtful, kind, and patient way.  Thank you for existing, Ami!! Never stop being the caring, gracious, empathetic, sensitive person that I (and so many others) love! You inspire me to be a better person! Please feel free to contact me if you would like to pursue a friendship outside of work. I would love that! If you’d rather not, I understand. 
thanks again for everything you’ve done!

Love always,

Deirdre 

Yes I will definitely do this with a small gift. What should I get her?

[Seraphim]

You have probably thanked her enough. 

[yogacat]

1 hour ago, woodsrose10 said:

Please feel free to contact me if you would like to pursue a friendship outside of work. I would love that! If you’d rather not, I understand. 

It seems like you're trying to forge a friendship with this woman outside of work?

Getting her a gift might feel a bit transactional, since she did help you out of a tight spot.

This is a supervisor? Be careful not to cross any professional boundaries by giving her gifts.

Supervisors are there to help and problem solve, it's their job. Maybe a verbal thank you is enough?

[woodsrose10]

7 minutes ago, yogacat said:

This is a supervisor? Be careful not to cross any professional boundaries by giving her gifts.

Supervisors are there to help and problem solve, it's their job.

Turns out she used to be a supervisor; I think she’s a cashier now. Pretty sure she does other stuff around the store.

[woodsrose10]

49 minutes ago, woodsrose10 said:

Yes I will definitely do this with a small gift. What should I get her?

The Dollar Store (believe it or not) has an amazing greeting card collection. What do you think would make a good/cute gift to go with it?

[woodsrose10]

5 minutes ago, woodsrose10 said:

What do you think would make a good/cute gift to go with it?

Definitely something in a pretty baggie to place the card in also. 🛍️ I’ll find something! ☺️

[woodsrose10]

30 minutes ago, woodsrose10 said:

Turns out she used to be a supervisor; I think she’s a cashier now. Pretty sure she does other stuff around the store.

lol ok I just found out: she’s a cashier and helps in other departments as needed.

[yogacat]

If you're dead set on getting a gift, which it sounds like you are, why not bring in a cup of coffee for her or some baked goods for her and your other co-workers? Or, invite her to lunch.

[woodsrose10]

7 minutes ago, yogacat said:

why not bring in a cup of coffee for her or some baked goods for her and your other co-workers? 

Funny you say this, because I do all that anyway, lol. I bought a k-cup machine for the lounge (they only had a regular coffee machine) and I love to bake various cookies and cakes to bring in for everyone. (The catch is that my baked goods are healthy—-gluten-free, vegan, etc. Not the unhealthy granulated sugar or dairy butter.)

[yogacat]

6 minutes ago, woodsrose10 said:

Funny you say this, because I do all that anyway, lol. I bought a k-cup machine for the lounge (they only had a regular coffee machine) and I love to bake various cookies and cakes to bring in for everyone. (The catch is that my baked goods are healthy—-gluten-free, vegan, etc. Not the unhealthy granulated sugar or dairy butter.)

I suggest a cup of fresh brew with a bow on it. Nothing too heavy. You seem like a kind-hearted person.

[Batya33]

3 hours ago, woodsrose10 said:

I feel I should write something like this:

”Dear Ami,

I have been with Roche Bros for the past 11 years; for some reason, this past year 2024 has been my toughest. And during those times when I needed care and help, you didn’t hesitate to stop and listen. You then immediately offered me your expert advice in a thoughtful, kind, and patient way.  Thank you for existing, Ami!! Never stop being the caring, gracious, empathetic, sensitive person that I (and so many others) love! You inspire me to be a better person! Please feel free to contact me if you would like to pursue a friendship outside of work. I would love that! If you’d rather not, I understand. 
thanks again for everything you’ve done!

Love always,

Deirdre 

I would not write the part about friendship -just ask if she wants  to grab lunch. I think the words are way over the top for a coworker and might be misconstrued as romantic or inappropriate levels of interest.  I would stop by and say thanks again -and hey want to grab lunch or coffee sometime? Then if she says yes casually treat on the day of the outing.

I received a lovely card when my long time coworker left the company, thanking me for the professional support and mentoring.  But we were also already friends and stayed in touch after -it was obvious we were going to -and we were then no longer coworkers.

[HeartGoesOn]

I think a sincere "thank you" would fit the bill. Also, I think that going over board with gifts,etc could potentially cause problems with other co-workers, especially in an office setting.

I'm sure you mean well, but being polite and keeping your private life low key says a lot.

[shouldhavelearned]

Just a short thank you.

 No gift.

Or if you happen to have a group lunch, say my treat this time. Don't say why.

[ShySoul]

On 10/24/2024 at 3:06 PM, woodsrose10 said:

Funny you say this, because I do all that anyway, lol. I bought a k-cup machine for the lounge (they only had a regular coffee machine) and I love to bake various cookies and cakes to bring in for everyone. (The catch is that my baked goods are healthy—-gluten-free, vegan, etc. Not the unhealthy granulated sugar or dairy butter.)

Would you be interested in a change of jobs? I think we could use someone like you in my office. 😉

Seriously, do and write what comes from heart. The right thing will vary depending on the people involved and their specific relationship. Some people and places will think things are inappropriate and be strict in having boundaries. Other people and places will be more casual. There's no one size solution. So do what you feel is right for you.

If you need to express yourself, then write what it is you need to get out. If this person is receptive and seems to be someone open to talking more, the do what you feel they would be okay with. If a small gift wouldn't be crossing a line for either party, then think about the other person and what might be useful for them, something they would enjoy. Just make sure whatever you do, that it would be something the other person is comfortable with.

You do seem like a sweet person. And yes, Dollar Tree has a good selection of cards and other little items that could be used as small thoughtful gifts. Maybe a puzzlebook or small bag of candy/nuts?

[Batya33]

I'm typically wary of people who are overly demonstrative at work in that way - because it's unprofessional and shows a lack of common sense and control and very often those people are the same ones who will turn on a dime and show anger/hostility over something seemingly minor. 

When I was pregnant at work I was fawned over because for most of my pregnancy I was  the only pregnant one.  I loved it but it also was in a manner that remained professional.  Asking me how I was feeling that day, telling me where to get my latest cravings (baked potatoes!). 

I also didn't express my personal feelings much -I was very tired, had stomach issues, worried about the next ultrasound but I knew  to remain hard working and professional.  My existing work colleague brought me fresh fruit -would leave it on my desk - and let me borrow her veil for my wedding ceremony.  They asked if I wanted a baby shower (no) but again didn't gush all over me with gifts etc - they asked first. 

I mentored an intern that summer and I announced my pregnancy after she left (she had suspected I was though!) and she took me out for lunch after she left and gave me a baby gift.  Thanked me for mentoring her -again that's professional -many interns give their mentors a gift at the end of the summer or a thank you note etc. She is a very emotional person as we were friends for years after but at work she wore her professional hat. Good for her.

I always appreciate very much a simple thank you when I go out of my way for a colleague.  I'd feel uncomfortable if I received a gushy note if we were not already close friends.  I think many would.  Just like when our coworkers are ill and text on our group chat they won't be in -we reply with good thoughts for their recovery but not over the top like we're their parents.  Professionalism trumps the urge to gush especially these days -this coworker doesn't know if you're straight and might see it as a weird come on for example.  These days that's a big no no.

[catfeeder]

3 hours ago, Batya33 said:

I'm typically wary of people who are overly demonstrative at work in that way - because it's unprofessional and shows a lack of common sense and control and very often those people are the same ones who will turn on a dime and show anger/hostility over something seemingly minor. 

Yep. To me it would come off as gushing, which is inappropriate, just as is bringing personal problems into the office. 

If the goal is to demonstrate mutual respect in a professional environment, then making people uncomfortable with personal affectations doesn't fit well with that.