Younger Housemate

[tattoobunnie]

Goodness no; keep it in your pants.  If you wanted to date you, she wouldn't be dating someone else.

[catfeeder]

9 minutes ago, jimdandy said:

The situation isn't untenable at present. I've been here years and she tends to travel a lot, moving from country to country so it's never felt like she'd be here long term, her name's not on the lease either.

Okay, but this doesn't address your goal. If you want to create a possibility of dating her, you can safely pursue that if you become a neighbor instead of a roommate.

[jimdandy]

6 minutes ago, catfeeder said:

Okay, but this doesn't address your goal. If you want to create a possibility of dating her, you can safely pursue that if you become a neighbor instead of a roommate.

Yes. It just seems extreme to move out and then ask when the answer will probably be a resounding no anyway. I'll just have to wait until she moves out. Or get her drunk some evening (joke 🤪).

[ShySoul]

11 hours ago, jimdandy said:

It's actually very hard living with someone that you're attracted to and it's only really become a personal issue since she started seeing someone. She says they're just hanging out and that he wouldn't be her 'boyfriend' yet as such.

It is hard. It is difficult even if you are friends and not living together. Having to be around that person day in and out, knowing you can't pursue what you so badly want. Seeing them be happy and excited about someone else. It can be very painful and difficult to process.

Try looking at it like this. You care about her, right? You want her to be happy? Part of having feelings for someone is putting their needs first and wanting what is best for them. If something or someone else is going to make her happy, then she deserves to have that. You need to be happy for her. Likewise, I am sure she wants you to be happy and would not want you feeling so down about things. 

Having feelings when you can't be with a person is a curse no one should have to deal with. But if the dice roll that way, you have to make the most of it. You have to find a way to preserve the good interactions between you and hold onto them while not getting caught up in what might have been.

Hope you can find a way to be okay with everything.

[Tinydance]

I think if she was attracted to you too, you'd know. She'd be texting you a lot, trying to spend a lot of time with you, not talking to you about other guys. If she basically just chats to you friendly when you're around, well that just sounds like a normal housemate thing. I'm not ruling out that she could like an older guy. But I think these dates guys see young women as this "pretty young thing". But women in their early 20's think of a nearly 40-year-old guy as old lol And really we're from a very different generation because we didn't grow up with technology and social media. I also recently realised that I'm really not up to date with Gen Z slang lol My friend who's 26 basically told me saying stuff I say isn't cool anymore and "Keep saying it if you want to sound like a loser". She was joking. Well, half joking anyway 🤣