Would getting your own condiment be a bad idea during a romantic dinner?

[yogacat]

I read this a while back and posted about it on another forum.

I thought it was a funny story so thought I'd share.

The gist of it is....

Your date ordered a salad but the restaurant didn't have her favorite dressing.

She told her date she was leaving the restaurant to buy a bottle of dressing at the store across the street. Her date was visibly upset when she returned. Later, he thanked her for the date but decided not to see her again because he felt it was off-putting to leave and go buy a bottle of dressing rather than just eat without it.

Would you think her leaving for dressing was odd or is he overreacting?

When the woman ordered the salad, they initially said they had the dressing she wanted, but then when they brought the salad out they said they were out.

The man in this scenario wanted to bring her to his favorite restaurant that served polish food, something she was not accustomed to. Additionally, he ordered for her without her having an input. So, she chose to order a salad, but they did not have the dressing that she wanted, something that could have made the meal more enjoyable for her. The only dressing they had was a house dressing that she was hesitant to try because she wasn't sure if she would like it.

If you didn't like the dressing they had you would just eat the salad anyway? Or would you send it back?

[Seraphim]

Personally I find it unbelievably rude and I would leave the date while she was gone . 

[SophiaG]

What an odd story! Both parties feel surprisingly rigid (perhaps more so for the woman, depending on the communications and expectations leading up to the date) so it's probably the best they don't date... Was it a first date??

[yogacat]

The incident was shared initially on the Today Show (if I recall correctly).

But there is a clip from it on another show.

[Batya33]

I think if a person invites you out for dinner - these days often you can check the menu in advance if you have particular dietary restrictions - then you order what you like to eat and you do your best -meaning if it's not your favorite dressing - go without.  Say nothing. I understand she was  told they had it but then did not. Fine. Make do.  Have no dressing, have some oil and vinegar (meaning whatever the standard dressing is all restaurants have - not everyone can do really spicy for example) - but say nothing.  Be gracious and appreciative.  

Also it's odd to order for someone else on a first date BUT since it was ethnic food with which he was familiar maybe he tried to order favorite dishes for her  to try.  Again unless you are allergic or the food is like undercooked and unsafe to eat -eat it! Next date you choose the restaurant.

I have two stories lol.  Last year I met a woman from FB for lunch and we met at gourmet grocery store that has a salad bar.  We met because our kids were going to be classmates.  Without the kids.  So she made a salad, saw that they didn't have her favorite dressing and told me she would go to the grocery aisle and buy herself a bottle - but I am positive she wouldn't have left a restaurant to do this -at this store you pay for your takeout salad same checkout line as grocery line.  I offered to buy her dressing -as a gesture - and she declined lol.  I thought it was totally fine but if she'd left me sitting at a restaurant alone I'd have found it odd and a little rude.  

Second -I made a "date" to meet a woman from FB who had recently moved to my city from my hometown -our mutual friend suggested we meet.  We made a plan to meet more convenient to her and she recommended an ethnic fast casual place.  Problem was - that week all of a sudden there is a recall of a specific herb for potential listeria or salmonella  And wouldn't you know it that restaurant uses that herb - a lot -- in almost all of the dishes! I felt so - nitpicky but knew I would be too nervous to eat there and it would look odd if I ate nothing.  I told her the truth.  We met at the restaurant next door - a gourmet fast casual burger place that was really good and yes, had food she enjoyed. 

But I sensed she sort of held this against me- like it was some sort of test to see if I was a flexible person.  We had a nice time but I always felt I made an odd first impression.  Were it the other way around I would have totally been fine -that's not a preference, it's a food safety issue. We are still FB friends but didn't end up seeing each other again.

Two years ago we were on a road trip and stopped at McDs which is not my preference but husband and son wanted it. I ordered the spicy chicken sandwich which was spicy because of the sauce - I only wanted a tiny bit of spicy so I made it clear I wanted it on the side only.  Of course it was drenched in it.  Had we not been on a road trip I likely would have returned it but -because we were and my "boys" eat fast lol I sucked it up - took a lot of it off, ate the rest- way too spicy for me but -I ate it and had no issues.  You have to go with the flow sometimes even if it's not your "preference!"

I see what Seraphim is saying -I am not sure I would have walked out if my date left to buy dressing but it likely would have been a dealbreaker for me to behave in that way.  

 

[Cherylyn]

I would never leave the table to go buy salad dressing from a store and come back.  That is plain rude.  No way. 

I would take some bites of the salad and box the rest of it to take home and eat later.  And / or,  bring a small container of salad dressing from home,  drizzle the restaurant salad and eat. 

Or,  don't order a salad.  Order something else.

[Starlight925]

It's one salad out of your entire life.  Politely eat a few bites with the dressing you don't love, and say you want to save your appetite for the main course.

The huge deal people make over food these days is astounding.  

It's one meal out of your life.  Don't like it?  There will be another one in a few short hours.

 

[shouldhavelearned]

Find a new date

[The Shark101]

6 hours ago, yogacat said:misses man in this scenario wanted to bring her to his favorite restaurant that served polish food, something she was not accustomed to. Additionally, he ordered for her without her having an input.

Interesting how everyone misses the point that the guy ordered HER food without asking her. 
So in a way, they both have been rude to each other. Looks to me like they are a great match , 😃.  

[Kwothe28]

7 hours ago, yogacat said:

Additionally, he ordered for her without her having an input. So, she chose to order a salad

Do you mean he ordered for her and she instead ordered a salad? Or he ordered main dish and she ordered a salad? I am not clear about that. 

I would find it overtly complicated and weird. They didnt had salad dressing she wanted(it happens at restaurants) so she just left the date and bought salad dressing she wanted? Like one of those people who would bring their own stuff to the dinner. “Here is your order Sir/Man, we dont have mayo to put it”. “Oh its OK I brought my own mayo from home”. Just would found it, well, “kids behavior”. If you dont like the service then you dont go there next time. Dont throw a tantrum and leave your date to buy a salad dressing on your own. He saw that “red flag” and moved on. 

[MissCanuck]

I would know right away that this person would be not be right for me. 

Leaving in the middle of a date? Rude. 

Buying an entire bottle of dressing just so the salad is more bearble? Child-like pickiness. 

Next. 

[yogacat]

5 hours ago, Kwothe28 said:

Do you mean he ordered for her and she instead ordered a salad? Or he ordered main dish and she ordered a salad? I am not clear about that. 

I would find it overtly complicated and weird. They didnt had salad dressing she wanted(it happens at restaurants) so she just left the date and bought salad dressing she wanted? Like one of those people who would bring their own stuff to the dinner. “Here is your order Sir/Man, we dont have mayo to put it”. “Oh its OK I brought my own mayo from home”. Just would found it, well, “kids behavior”. If you dont like the service then you dont go there next time. Dont throw a tantrum and leave your date to buy a salad dressing on your own. He saw that “red flag” and moved on. 

I just looked up the story. (sorry it was a couple years ago).

No salad ordered.

What happened was he picked the restaurant and ordered for the both of them. He took her to a Polish restaurant and he ordered a sampler plate so she could try different things. She wanted to put ranch dressing on what he ordered because she likes ranch especially with foods that she isn't too sure about taste wise.

Is It Rude to Bring a Bottle of Ranch Dressing with Me into a Restaurant?

What if she brought the ranch dressing ahead of time?

People bring hot sauce packets sometimes with them and carry it with them into restaurants.

It was a third date. 

I don't think it would be inappropriate to bring a small bottle of ranch dressing with you to a restaurant if you know you will want to use it with a specific dish. Leaving mid-date to buy a bottle of ranch from a convenience store would likely be more disruptive and potentially rude. Then again, he ordered for her and took her to a Polish restaurant without her input, so who knows the dynamic there. I think I would have tasted the food and if I disliked it, not eaten it.

[Seraphim]

Still rude . It is still childlike to cover foods  you don’t know in ranch sauce. Ew. That is an insult to the chef and insult to someone’s culture. Just , no. Next…..

[SophiaG]

48 minutes ago, yogacat said:

Then again, he ordered for her and took her to a Polish restaurant without her input, so who knows the dynamic there.

I noticed this part and hence the comment on them both being rigid with the guy's part depending on context. I'd assume she at least agreed to the restaurant so it was a "trying his ethnic/favorite food" date and it might have been acceptable or completely expected for him to do the ordering. For her to insist to drench the foods he was keen to show her with ranch seems like she's not at all interested to give the foods a shot in their original taste/form. I would be upset too.

[Kwothe28]

1 hour ago, yogacat said:

What if she brought the ranch dressing ahead of time?

People bring hot sauce packets sometimes with them and carry it with them into restaurants.

Still makes it kinda weird. From the article you put

Quote

Playing DIY chef — particularly if this includes a condiment that requires an excessive amount of tapping to coax contents from a bottle — is a slight to the restaurant and likely, will be an embarrassment to your companions. What’s next? Grating a favorite Grana Padano above your linguine and clams? Topping up your latte with some on-the-ready Reddi-wip?

And I think its a good point. If I go to Italian restaurant should I bring my own favorite cheese to top my spaghetti? Would Starbucks be OK with me bringing my own vegan cream whip(dunno if its a thing, just caricaturing) to get on my coffee because theirs isnt vegan?

I think its OK when you are home. For example, I like mayo as topping. So when I order hamburger, I can hypothetically order it without a mayo and when I get home add my own mayo. I never did it because as much as I am a picky eater I am not that picky, but at your own home you can add whatever you want. When my nephew was little he added ketchup on everything. And at home its OK because you can do whatever you want at home. At the restaurant or when you eat or drink outside? Sorry, dont see how its appropriate to do that. 

Also, I think its more of incompatibility issue. He brought her to his favorite restaurant. And she literally took out ranch dressing to bath her food with. He wanted to share his favorite experience with her. And she said "Yeah, let me just try to make this experience and what you want to share with me, about me". 

Also, I had to check. There is vegan cream whip lol

[smackie9]

Just goes to show you she's the type of person that doesn't compromise...being able to compromise and adjust to any situation is pretty crucial for a relationship to last for the long haul. She could have ordered something else or had the dressing on the side. She could also have just thrown caution into the wind and shared dishes with him to sample the cuisine. She could also have put the breaks on going, saying she wasn't comfortable with his choice. Him on the other hand should have had a discussion whether or not she would like to try Polish food instead of just throwing her to the wolves like that.

 

[itsallgrand]

25 minutes ago, Kwothe28 said:

Still makes it kinda weird. From the article you put

And I think its a good point. If I go to Italian restaurant should I bring my own favorite cheese to top my spaghetti? Would Starbucks be OK with me bringing my own vegan cream whip(dunno if its a thing, just caricaturing) to get on my coffee because theirs isnt vegan?

I think its OK when you are home. For example, I like mayo as topping. So when I order hamburger, I can hypothetically order it without a mayo and when I get home add my own mayo. I never did it because as much as I am a picky eater I am not that picky, but at your own home you can add whatever you want. When my nephew was little he added ketchup on everything. And at home its OK because you can do whatever you want at home. At the restaurant or when you eat or drink outside? Sorry, dont see how its appropriate to do that. 

Also, I think its more of incompatibility issue. He brought her to his favorite restaurant. And she literally took out ranch dressing to bath her food with. He wanted to share his favorite experience with her. And she said "Yeah, let me just try to make this experience and what you want to share with me, about me". 

Also, I had to check. There is vegan cream whip lol

Starbucks is super vegan friendly, can confirm. SO was all about those nearly 10 dollar Chai oat lattes with whip lol. 

I think I couldn't be with someone so picky about food that ranch is life and you can't eat something without it. I like food too much, I would get annoyed eventually even after exercising patience. 

 

[Coily]

This would put me right off someone, rude and weird.

At first his ordering for her caught my eye; until it was clear she was unfamiliar with Polish cuisine; so a sampler made sense. Still a bit presumptive, though manageable.

But, going out to buy Ranch? Yeah that's too far. If she has dietary problem/allergy and couldn't have the house dressing, sure  maybe; IF she brought it just in case.

I would have waited until she came back; after ordering an extra drink; then off to the bathroom and freedom; with her and the check ending up at her place.

 

Side note, I really want Polish food now.

[yogacat]

55 minutes ago, smackie9 said:

She could have ordered something else or had the dressing on the side. She could also have just thrown caution into the wind and shared dishes with him to sample the cuisine. She could also have put the breaks on going, saying she wasn't comfortable with his choice. Him on the other hand should have had a discussion whether or not she would like to try Polish food instead of just throwing her to the wolves like that.

 

Yes.

Okay, so I would not leave during the date to go buy ranch dressing. Pepto maybe if my stomach was hurting but not to buy condiments.

But, I can understand the point about him choosing the restaurant and ordering for her that he would assume that she would like the restaurant and not really having a say about the food selection for herself. 

I do think it would have been best if she tried the food and then if she disliked it, maybe ordered something else or just skipped it altogether, instead of potentially offending her date by asking for ranch dressing with food from a completely different cuisine.

But, I do sympathize with her wanting to have something she knows she enjoys.  

I guess she will be home alone with a bottle of ranch dressing from now on. 😆

[Batya33]

3 hours ago, yogacat said:

I just looked up the story. (sorry it was a couple years ago).

No salad ordered.

What happened was he picked the restaurant and ordered for the both of them. He took her to a Polish restaurant and he ordered a sampler plate so she could try different things. She wanted to put ranch dressing on what he ordered because she likes ranch especially with foods that she isn't too sure about taste wise.

Is It Rude to Bring a Bottle of Ranch Dressing with Me into a Restaurant?

What if she brought the ranch dressing ahead of time?

People bring hot sauce packets sometimes with them and carry it with them into restaurants.

It was a third date. 

I don't think it would be inappropriate to bring a small bottle of ranch dressing with you to a restaurant if you know you will want to use it with a specific dish. Leaving mid-date to buy a bottle of ranch from a convenience store would likely be more disruptive and potentially rude. Then again, he ordered for her and took her to a Polish restaurant without her input, so who knows the dynamic there. I think I would have tasted the food and if I disliked it, not eaten it.

I do for a first date - unless you want to make sure your date knows you are that picky about food preferences.  It's just not necessary and it's one meal. When you're an established couple -sure- when we go on trips I've brought tea bags or sugar substitute packets if we're in a foreign country if I want to order tea or whatever - like if I have a cold and want a specific herbal tea.

[Batya33]

Sorry this reminds me of My Big Fat Greek Wedding-she brings him home to meet the family and there will be  a huge family meal and tells them he is a vegetarian - they haven't done the cooking and the Aunt or Mom says "what???? he don't eat no meat???? [pause] ok I make lamb"  😉

 

[yogacat]

36 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

I do for a first date - unless you want to make sure your date knows you are that picky about food preferences.  It's just not necessary and it's one meal. When you're an established couple -sure- when we go on trips I've brought tea bags or sugar substitute packets if we're in a foreign country if I want to order tea or whatever - like if I have a cold and want a specific herbal tea.

What if the meal was....cow eyeballs. Would you feel different? Would you eat it or ask for something different? If you wanted to try the cow eyeballs for the sake of being polite, would you want to add seasoning to make it go down better?

Playing devil's advocate. ☺️

[yogacat]

1 hour ago, Coily said:

Side note, I really want Polish food now.

Pierogi? Yes please!

I'll try anything once, without condiments. But I'm a bit daring that way (unless it's still alive, no Casu martzu).

If it's not good, I won't finish eating it. Hate to throw food away but will if it comes to that.

Incidentally, I love most sauces and condiments though.

My favorite is honey mustard -- I could eat it with anything!

[tattoobunnie]

I could never ever date someone that high maintenance. 

Imagine that person going to someone's family for the holidays, and running out to buy salad dressing or to buy their own set of utensils.

It screams lack of adventure, OCD, inability to compromise or try something different, and stupidity as they didn't have to get a salad.  Who in the world orders salad at a Polish restaurant?  And, she couldn't just have it on the side so she could just taste it?

Either way, not a match.

[tattoobunnie]

I've been to events where the salad and dessert had things I was allergic to.  I just didn't eat them.  I didn't run out to buy something else.

The following year, I knew to tell the wait staff upfront I couldn't have the ingredient, and they kept it out.

It's one thing if they guy were her dietary requirements and ordered out of what she needed.