Descrimination and abuse at my Job

[butterfly1990]

I am a really hardworker and give it my all. I'm kind of shy and guarded at my job, especially with new people. I am a very sensitive person  and I get really sad and triggered when I'm talked down to. I'm not sure if I'm being to sensitive or if I have been mistreated and should report the mistreatment to my supervisor/HR when I quit. I have endured 4 years at this job.

Well the following things have been said that has affected my self-esteem and trust towards others: I was told and mocked that I was incapable of being a leader, I have been told I'm not smart and slow, I was called provocative,  I was made fun of my hair (I'm the only Hispanic woman and who has big, long curly hair), a coworker said that a woman in a picture looks ugly because she is brown and short (I am brown and short), a supervisor asked me to open my drawer to check if I had something illegal or I had stoled something (I have worked hard in my education so it stung to be stereotyped like this), I was told by a coworker that they felt like slapping me because I dropped some food in the ground. I have more in my list, but I don't want this post to be long. 

Any advice would be helpful. If I'm acting sensitive how may be less sensitive. I don't want any problems, but my job affects my sleep, my self-esteem is low, I have cried a lot, and got an anxiety attack.

[shouldhavelearned]

Hopefully this is all documented. How confident are you in filing a complaint with HR?

You should feel safe in your place of work.

Have you looked for a different job?

[Coily]

I'll start with some thoughts on each of the points, so bear with me here. I want to explore if you are just "being sensitive" or have justifiable concerns.

• I was told and mocked that I was incapable of being a leader,
  • Leadership is a very hard skill, many people (even those in leadership aren't suited to it)
• I have been told I'm not smart and slow
  • This is hard to determine without knowing you; while rude, the tone this said makes a difference
• I was called provocative,
  • No idea without context
• I was made fun of my hair (I'm the only Hispanic woman and who has big, long curly hair),
  • That's just stupid and childish on their part
• a coworker said that a woman in a picture looks ugly because she is brown and short (I am brown and short),
  • Given the hair comment, stupid, childish and intentionally hurtful
• a supervisor asked me to open my drawer to check if I had something illegal or I had stoled something
  • Was this just directed at you, or is this done to everyone? If just you, then clearly it's designed to imply you are untrustworthy. If everyone, then you are combining it with the other attitudes and making an assumption
• I was told by a coworker that they felt like slapping me because I dropped some food in the ground
  • Unless it was a joke with someone you considered a friend; I would be angry as such a threat

There are some workplaces where there is good natured ribbing, and these sorts of comments would be par for the course. Usually in high stress situations where everyone plays the "hey you're ugly game." However, it's never targeted and they would also have your back to get tasks done. (These are usually male dominated spaces.

BUT, I don't think that this is your case. These idiots you work with seem to have a personal bias against you. I would not remain in such a workplace for very long. I hope you find a solution, either HR or find a new work place. You shouldn't dread going to work.

 

[butterfly1990]

10 hours ago, shouldhavelearned said:

Hopefully this is all documented. How confident are you in filing a complaint with HR?

You should feel safe in your place of work.

Have you looked for a different job?

I got the courage and desire just recently to report this and quit, so I didn't document with dates. I wrote it all just recently in a notepad. I hope something is done because  I am afraid that the HR person will not believe me because she hangs out with those work bullies, so I'm thinking reporting it to another supervisor who may be more objective over this. I will be looking for a different job by the end of the month.  

[butterfly1990]

2 hours ago, Coily said:

I'll start with some thoughts on each of the points, so bear with me here. I want to explore if you are just "being sensitive" or have justifiable concerns.

• I was told and mocked that I was incapable of being a leader,
  • Leadership is a very hard skill, many people (even those in leadership aren't suited to it)
• I have been told I'm not smart and slow
  • This is hard to determine without knowing you; while rude, the tone this said makes a difference
• I was called provocative,
  • No idea without context
• I was made fun of my hair (I'm the only Hispanic woman and who has big, long curly hair),
  • That's just stupid and childish on their part
• a coworker said that a woman in a picture looks ugly because she is brown and short (I am brown and short),
  • Given the hair comment, stupid, childish and intentionally hurtful
• a supervisor asked me to open my drawer to check if I had something illegal or I had stoled something
  • Was this just directed at you, or is this done to everyone? If just you, then clearly it's designed to imply you are untrustworthy. If everyone, then you are combining it with the other attitudes and making an assumption
• I was told by a coworker that they felt like slapping me because I dropped some food in the ground
  • Unless it was a joke with someone you considered a friend; I would be angry as such a threat

There are some workplaces where there is good natured ribbing, and these sorts of comments would be par for the course. Usually in high stress situations where everyone plays the "hey you're ugly game." However, it's never targeted and they would also have your back to get tasks done. (These are usually male dominated spaces.

BUT, I don't think that this is your case. These idiots you work with seem to have a personal bias against you. I would not remain in such a workplace for very long. I hope you find a solution, either HR or find a new work place. You shouldn't dread going to work.

 

Yes, the tone was either angry or making fun of me not as friends. It is a Vietnamese clinic and was hired to help the Latino community. I have shut down and now everyone looks at me angry because I don't talk to anyone not knowing that I feel numb and sad going to work. I also struggle with PTSD and depression and anxiety so it makes me feel worse. The leadership thing was to imply that I am dumb. A group of people started laughing and said we don't need you. I have a learning disability and sometimes I can be confuse my words. The drawer situation was out of the blue. She did not check anyone but me. I had some newspapers for a artistic project and a supervisor was suspicious and asked me to open my drawers.

I was afraid this they were biased against me. Thank you for confirming this. I will be taking action and quitting soon. 

[nancyyy]

I'm going thru the same right now awful I patented 15months idk how crying everyday didn't wanna lose the job

[TeeDee]

If you are in the US it sounds like you are being singled out due to your national origin.  Go talk to a lawyer. 

Understand that you do not have grounds for a lawsuit unless your employer takes an adverse action against you meaning the fire you, demote you or changes your hours unfavorably.  

If your company has an HR department, tell them what is going on. 

[butterfly1990]

4 hours ago, nancyyy said:

I'm going thru the same right now awful I patented 15months idk how crying everyday didn't wanna lose the job

I'm sorry you are going through this as well. I wish you the best and hope you take care ❤️

[butterfly1990]

6 minutes ago, TeeDee said:

If you are in the US it sounds like you are being singled out due to your national origin.  Go talk to a lawyer. 

Understand that you do not have grounds for a lawsuit unless your employer takes an adverse action against you meaning the fire you, demote you or changes your hours unfavorably.  

If your company has an HR department, tell them what is going on. 

I live in California. I actually got the courage today to speak to a supervisor. Yes, I agree HR would be the best thing to do. Thank you for confirming my concern. I'm sometimes unsure if I'm being too sensitive maybe because I experienced a lot of gaslighting in relationships before. I realized today that I deserve a safe place to work just like everyone else.