My new school is too hard, I want my old school and friends back

[Minalee]

I feel completely overwhelmed at my new school. My GPA has dropped to a 1.3, even though I used to maintain a 3.5 at my old school, where the assignments were much easier. I see the work my friends have at their school(my old school), and it’s way less demanding—they’re still finishing up Unit 1 in environmental science, while we’re already on Unit 3. I study for hours in the library and at home, but I still feel like I’m falling behind, even with my ADHD and learning disability making things harder. I never thought I’d be back in Special Ed, and I feel like all my efforts just aren’t enough. The move to this new school has been tough; we haven’t even moved into our new house yet, and I’m ten weeks into school. Everything feels out of place, and I miss my old friends who understood me on a deep level. They were the kind of friends you don’t come across often they are healthy, smart, and genuinely caring. The people here just aren’t the same. I know I’ve moved on from my old friends, and they probably don’t even think about me anymore. But I can’t help missing them and wishing I could go back. Every time I bring up switching schools with my mom, she gets upset because she remembers how much the previous situation affected me. I just want to be in a place where I feel like I can succeed again. How can I convince her to let me go back, or at least what do I do now?

[Batya33]

What grade are you in? Why did you switch?

[Minalee]

I'm in grade 11th, I moved schools because my old school was too far away(exactly 34 minutes, bus if I had to take it 46 minutes), and I had some difficult drama with my friend group that took a toll on me. But that was last school year before summer break, and I’ve moved past it. Since then, I made new friends(at my old school) who truly understand me and have been incredibly supportive. They helped me through that rough time, and I don’t often feel this way about people, but I genuinely care about them, they’re healthy, kind individuals who make me feel safe. Over the summer, I found out I have ADHD, which explained a lot about my behavior. Now, I just want to move back because I miss my friends so much, and I’m struggling at my new school. The highest test score I’ve gotten this semester is a 55%. I’m really trying, but it feels like it’s never enough, and my mental health is suffering as a result. I feel so alone here, and I just want to go back to where I felt supported and could perform better. My mom saw how much I struggled during the summer, but I’m over the past issues now and just want a chance to return to the environment where I felt like I belonged, but every time I bring up going back, she gets upset with me for bringing it up. What should I do?

[Batya33]

What would this entail your mother having to do? Is it private or public? Can you do after school activities with your old friends?

[Minalee]

3 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

What would this entail your mother having to do? 

We believed the new school would give me better opportunities, and help me better, now that I'm away from my old friend group, but I have been performing so bad,

 

4 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

 Can you do after school activities with your old friends?

We could but i barely see them since junior year for us is really an important year academically. During these 10 weeks I only saw them once, and I constantly try to plan things but I'm aware we are busy with our school.

[Batya33]

7 minutes ago, Minalee said:

We believed the new school would give me better opportunities, and help me better, now that I'm away from my old friend group, but I have been performing so bad,

 

We could but i barely see them since junior year for us is really an important year academically. During these 10 weeks I only saw them once, and I constantly try to plan things but I'm aware we are busy with our school.

I hate to say this but if they can't make any plan in 10 weeks (our son is in his sophomore year I get the busy part) then they are not such good friends of yours.  

What kind of tutoring or other academic help can you get at school?

What would your mother have to do to transfer you back?

[Minalee]

1 minute ago, Batya33 said:

I hate to say this but if they can't make any plan in 10 weeks (our son is in his sophomore year I get the busy part) then they are not such good friends of yours.  

No, they have reached out to me, and they would even call me, it's just we are all really busy.

 

2 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

What kind of tutoring or other academic help can you get at school?

What would your mother have to do to transfer you back?

I do go tutoring but it's all online, because my old school provides tutoring and I asked my friend for her password for her account and i use the tutoring service there, and it's way better than the tutoring from our school for the most part. I don't know what my mom would do if I transfer back, i think she would be upset with me because she says there is no point, and I just want to go already, I don't want to stay here at school, but once again she gets upset when i bring it up so take that with a grain of salt.

[Batya33]

Ask your mom what she thinks is best for you to improve your grades -other tutoring resources, an educational coach.  Can you go to your place of worship and ask someone there to be a sort of mediator between you and your mom -or someone at school? Also if your friends are soooo busy then what -you'll see them briefly at school if you transfer?  What after school activities do you do and have you made friends there?

[TeeDee]

Since the old school is so much easier, getting tutoring from there is not going to help you keep up at the new harder school.   This new school will position you better academically because the universities all know which schools are hard & which are easy so having a high GPA from your old school is kind of meaningless because the colleges know that place did not prepare you academically. 

Speak to each of your new teachers.  Go to them & tell them you are struggling but want to do better.  Go to the guidance office & ask for their help. There are probably programs you don't know about because you are new. 

Change is always difficult.  It's worse when you miss your friends but do make an effort to make new friends & your new school.