How do I stop obsessing over my ex-gf's sex life?

[Gatid]

I'll try to keep this simple. Me and my girlfriend broke up a couple years back. It took me awhile to come to terms with the breakup, but it was probably for the best, since the relationship was quite volatile at times, which didn't help with either of our anxieties.

When I first slept with my girlfriend, it was quite a big deal. I remember that she wasn't happy that we slept together so soon and felt that it was rushed. 

Anyway, I learned through mutual friends that not long ago she got picked up by some young dude at a bar and went back to his place for sex. The dude ghosted her afterwards too. Please note that this was waaaaaay after we broke up, we weren't together at the time.

I know that I shouldn't care about what my ex is up to, but this has been driving me crazy for awhile now. It's seriously damaged my self-esteem and self-worth. Why did she make such a fuss about us having sex, then have a one-night stand with some guy she barely even knows?  Basically, this means that the second guy was more fuc*able than me, right? 

[Batya33]

No it simply means that she felt like having sex at that moment. Assume that as the only info you have is second hand that apparently she had sex with a stranger and then he didn't want to have sex again.  If that is true -if - you can't know anything else. Also tell your "friends" to stop sharing information with you about your ex -that is my strong suggestion.

[Gatid]

1 minute ago, Batya33 said:

No it simply means that she felt like having sex at that moment. 

She felt like having sex with some guy. He could've been a psycho for all she knew. But when it came to "us", she made such a big deal about us having sex. I just can't reconcile this other than comparing myself to this dude and realizing that I was less desirable.

[Gatid]

Would any good come from asking my ex about this?

[Kwothe28]

31 minutes ago, Gatid said:

Would any good come from asking my ex about this?

No. No it wouldnt. She would just tell you that who she sleeps with is none of your business if she even responds to it at all. You would just be jealous and possesive ex. How would that affect your self-esteem?

Which on the surface, it would be true. Instead of viewing that she slept with you and was worried that she ruined it because she actually liked you, or even that, if she is going around hooking up with other people, maybe its actually good that she isnt with you, you chose to think how your self- esteem got hurt because she slept with somebody else and that she regreted sleeping so quick with you so that must mean that you are less desirable. You are looking at this from a wrong angle. And you havent gotten over her properly since you do care about stuff like this.