Unfriended ex on Facebook; he sent me a bday gift

[woodsrose10]

A few months ago I unfriended my ex on Facebook; which obviously should tell him that I don’t want to interact with him. But yesterday I got a birthday card from him with a Starbucks gift card. 🤔

Should I send him a card thanking him for the gift but to please not contact me anymore? Or just flat-out block him and not contact him whatsoever? (That’ll give him the message, lol.)

Thanks 👍🏻

[Coily]

You should thank him. But let him know that you are going no contact and wish him well. Let things be final, and end on a high note.

[woodsrose10]

1 minute ago, Coily said:

You should thank him. But let him know that you are going no contact and wish him well. Let things be final, and end on a high note.

Ok; how should I word that exactly?

[Coily]

4 minutes ago, woodsrose10 said:

Ok; how should I word that exactly?

"Hey X,
Thanks for the thoughtful gift. You didn't have to go out of your way to do that since we have ended our relationship. I think it's best we go no contact so the next lucky person can really appreciate your generosity.

Thanks,
woodrose10"

 

 

Something that's final and grateful

[Cherylyn]

I would handle this graciously by sending him a thank you card.  Write:  "Thank you for the birthday card and Starbucks gift card.  It is appreciated,  however,  since we are exes,  please do not contact me anymore and please do not give me anything.  Thank you for honoring and respecting my wishes.  I wish you all the best and take care.  Your Name." 

There is a way to be gracious yet firm. 

[woodsrose10]

Perfect; thanks guys! 😁

[tattoobunnie]

I wouldn't respond. It's his way to test what it would take for you to reach out to him.

[woodsrose10]

Just now, tattoobunnie said:

I wouldn't respond. It's his way to test what it would take for you to reach out to him.

Hmm…Cherylyn and Coily do you agree this is a good point?

[tattoobunnie]

Just now, woodsrose10 said:

Hmm…Cherylyn and Coily do you agree this is a good point?

You owe him nothing.

[woodsrose10]

I mean I I infriended him awhile ago. Surely he noticed that by now, don’t you think?

[Coily]

Do you owe him anything? Not really. But this is for you and about you; not him. By giving him a polite, thanks, but it's over note is you establishing a boundary. Which will help your long term dating prospects.

By setting this boundary, you can do so easily and without "fear" of it haunting you, because you are done with this guy. Even if he's trying to re-establish a connection; you don't have to play by his rules; this is charting a new course for yourself.

[woodsrose10]

3 minutes ago, Coily said:

Do you owe him anything? Not really. But this is for you and about you; not him. By giving him a polite, thanks, but it's over note is you establishing a boundary. Which will help your long term dating prospects.

By setting this boundary, you can do so easily and without "fear" of it haunting you, because you are done with this guy. Even if he's trying to re-establish a connection; you don't have to play by his rules; this is charting a new course for yourself.

Again I say: perfect. 👌🏻 

[yogacat]

Why did the two of you breakup? That will change my opinion on what you should do.

13 minutes ago, woodsrose10 said:

I mean I I infriended him awhile ago. Surely he noticed that by now, don’t you think?

 

[Cherylyn]

19 minutes ago, tattoobunnie said:

You owe him nothing.

 @woodsrose10  I'm old school.  Good manners never go out of style.  I'd send a thank you card and graciously request no more cards,  no more gifts.  There is a way to be classy.  Block and delete after that ~ phone,  social media,  etc.  In the future, no more response. 

[woodsrose10]

6 minutes ago, yogacat said:

Why did the two of you breakup? That will change my opinion on what you should do.

 

Wasn’t working. He lived kind of far and our interests didn’t match. 

[Cherylyn]

I always feel that if anyone spent their hard money on you,  the least you can do is graciously send a postal thank you card expressing gratitude while remaining firm about no more cards,  no more gifts in the future.  That,  to me, is gracious closure and you have class if you take this route.  There is a way to have great manners even if you went your separate ways. 

After that,  it's final and no more correspondence nor communication.  You gave fair,  nice warning and after that,  estrangement is acceptable.