I'm a special needs kid, with adhd, and I feel so stupid

[Minalee]

When I was in elementary school, my school thought I had autism because I moved to a new area and had to learn English. I also used to get bullied and had a habit of staying in toxic relationships. Recently, at 16, I was diagnosed with ADHD, and it made sense of a lot of things in my life. I had an IEP (Individualized Education Plan) in place, thanks to my mom. But when I was in special education classes, I noticed that many of the kids there seemed like they had given up. I didn’t understand why, because I always felt like I needed to try hard. In middle school, I did well—mostly all A’s and one B. Before high school, I told my mom to get rid of my IEP because I thought I didn’t need it. My mom said she did, but it turns out she just canceled the services without actually getting rid of the IEP. When I enrolled in my new high school, my mom thought she had completed my enrollment, but she hadn’t, and I ended up sitting in the main office, embarrassed, on my first day because I wasn’t enrolled. Eventually, I transferred to a different high school, and this one is way harder than my old school. My mom never really got rid of my IEP; she just canceled the services, and I was so frustrated because I could have gotten the help I needed. Now, I’m failing nearly all of my classes, except for one where I have a C. I feel so stupid and defective. My memory is one of my biggest struggles. Teachers will say something in class, and it goes right over my head. The next day, I’m confused because the other students did the assignment, but I didn’t even catch what the teacher said. It’s gotten to the point where I feel like I’m losing my mind. My brain feels like it’s working against me, even though I’m trying really hard. I spend hours at the library, from 4:30 PM to 8 PM, studying with the Pomodoro method, but no matter what I do, I still fail. The highest I’ve scored on a test this semester is 45%, and I feel stupid. I want to go back to my old school, which was easier, but my mom says that’s not an option and gets angry when I mention it. I’ve also noticed that my friends at my old school have much easier assignments, and the classes there don’t seem as challenging as what I’m dealing with now. My old school was a magnet school. I feel lost, like a failure, and I feel like I’m starting to give up because nothing I do is working. On top of that, my sister keeps nagging me, telling me what to do, and it’s making everything worse. I think I need medication for my ADHD, and while my mom is working on getting it for me, I feel stuck in the meantime. Any advice? 

[Seraphim]

My husband has severe ADHD and struggled with severe anxiety and depression. Being medicated for ADHD has pretty much saved his career and improved his self esteem and drastically lowered his anxiety. You are at an age now where you can see a doctor on your own. 
 

My son is Autistic and his IEP worked well for him . He had all supports removed due to school budget restraints but he did manage to succeed .