My friend and my wife

[Hunt001]

hello,
was after a bit of advice, am I over thinking things or is this something to worry about.
i know a couple I’ve been friends with for many years..the guy is a bit of a ladies man and when I met my partner he was keen to meet her, anyhow after a few months we all met up and he immediately treated her like a long lost mate. Any did so every time we met up. Fast forward to a few months back. I proposed to my partner last year and invited them to the wedding this year. The couple decided to take us away for a couple of days as a wedding present. We went to a karaoke bar and he asked her to sing with him, which she did his arm round her but her arm not round him. On way back they walked back in front of me and his wide arm in arm. Which I thought was very strange as this was only a couple of weeks before our wedding. Then the day before wedding a large group met up for a drink and he said to my wife to be twice ‘ marry me instead’ my wife to me told me this and laughed it off. We had an entertainer at wedding and he asked my wife to pick someone to help the guy and she picked my friend out of a room of 60. I didn’t see anything at wedding.
while away for a few days after the wedding we were having a few drinks and she just randomly came out with ‘ I don’t fancy him he knows I’m married’ something along them lines. And she mentions him at least once a day in general conversation. we are going away with them on a cruise for a week and I’m scared on what might happen..am I just overthinking this? Thank you x

[lostandhurt]

If this "fiend" is being disrespectful of your friendship and marriage then you need to speak to him and let him know his flirtatious style will not be tolerated with your wife.

As far as your wife goes simply sit down with her and ask her straight out if she has a thing for this friend because she talks about him all the time.  Then see how she reacts.

Simply eating your emotions while this plays out right in front of you is not healthy and running around on a cruise ship trying to police her so she doesn't do something wrong is not the answer either..

Your other option is to make it through the cruise and then cut this guy off as a friend.  I would have had words with him when he told her to dump you for him and dumped him as a friend if he didn't respect the friendship long ago.  That needs to be done anyways in my opinion.

 Lost

[smackie9]

The only reason it has gotten this far is because you haven't spoken up. Don't corner her on it, corner him. You need to have a talk with your friend and get this sorted out. If he is empathetic and remorseful lets hope he complies. If not, you detach yourself from this friendship.

As for your wife, she probably thinks this guy is harmless and is just being fun. Since everyone is laughing along, etc, I'm sure she thinks this is normal among you and your friends. So it also would be best (after your conversation with your friend) to have a talk with her about you feeling of being disrespected by the display between them. Communication is the key to a successful relationship.

Now I don't know what is going through her head BUT, enjoying someone's company doesn't always mean romantic interest. Everyone is drawn to fun/a good time and that is part of the reason your friend gets attention. I'm guessing people in general are drawn to him. If he really over steps his boundaries, you would think he would receive an occasional black eye.