Need advice: Is it sex-only and are the red flags bad enough to run?

[ShySoul]

One, there is no proof he is married. No one actually knows anything about him other then he only want sex. Whatever his reason, no need to judge him or make assumptions about him. If it's not what you want, then just let him be and focus on you. 

On 9/26/2024 at 6:08 PM, CosmicJellybean said:

I was with my husband from 20-38 & have been alone the last 9 years since then. I just started to see about getting into dating about 6 months ago but I don’t know how to proceed since I’ve never really dated & definitely don’t know how to start at my age.

If you don't know how to date, and have never dated, then don't date. Dating is not a necessity in life. It is not the only way to meet someone. You were with someone for 18 years without dating. I'm 41 and have never dated either, yet I've met people where there was mutual interest. Dating isn't the end all be all and isn't for everyone. If you aren't comfortable with it, don't do it.

You don't lack a spine. You have a very strong spine and sense of self worth. If you didn't, you wouldn't have seen this was a problem, wouldn't have posted about it, and wouldn't have ended it. You would have kept going and let it hurt you more. It takes strength and courage to admit to a mistake and address it. And you did it. We all make mistakes. The weak ones throw the blame on others or continue to hurt themselves, holding onto hurt and bitterness. But the strong ones take ownership and work to do better. You are one of the strong ones.

You don't need therapy. You don't need new friendships. You don't need dating or relationships. You need to embrace you. You need to find happiness on your own, doing something you love. At the end of the day, we have to be proud of who we are and love ourself. We have to accept ourselfs, strenghts and weaknesses alike. We need to find the thing that sparks joy within us, without relying about what others think or do. It's that sense of inner fulfillment that will make us happy and content with our life.

So you are you? What do you like? What will make you happy? Do those things. Love yourself, without any consideration of how others view you. If you are truly happy with yourself, you are never alone.

And thank you, now I want some jellybeans. 😉

[Batya33]

She says she wants to date. This arrangement wasn’t dating. It was a sexual arrangement. She doesn’t have to date. She would like to try to date. She should but this person isn’t an example of trying to date. I think what he wanted is fine but not if he was lying about marital status etc or anything that would put her at higher risk of STD. She didn’t require him to provide his last name or actual phone number which tells him she’s not a person who is careful with her safety or who she shares her body with. Not really a good look IMO. I’m glad she’ll be done with him. 

[ShySoul]

On 9/26/2024 at 6:08 PM, CosmicJellybean said:

I may just pull back from trying to find someone since I’m clearly so bad at it. I was with my husband from 20-38 & have been alone the last 9 years since then. I just started to see about getting into dating about 6 months ago but I don’t know how to proceed since I’ve never really dated & definitely don’t know how to start at my age.

She said she was looking into it. Last thing she said was that she was thinking of pulling back. 

Sometimes people want to try things they aren't ready for yet or aren't able to handle. Her desire to have a relationship and have someone lead her to puting herself in a dangerous sitution. Taking a step back to prevent something like this from happening again isn't a bad idea.

@CosmicJellybean I feel lonely everyday. I've got one person I would call a friend. I wish I had a relationship as well. But I also know dating and relationships don't mean you feel any less alone. People come here everyday dating and in relationships, and still feel alone. They experience all kind of problems that just end up hurting them more. The temptation to find happiness in someone else is pervasive. But it's misleading.

The times I have been happiest have come from embracing myself and just being free to be me. It's in doing something that I love, that makes me happy on my own. When you find yourself and let that authentic you out, no one can touch you. It's freeing. And it often leads naturally to friendships and even romantic relationships, without trying or any of the craziness and anxiety inducing things that go along with dating. 

This is your life, and your feelings. Do what you are comfortable doing. If you really want to date, go ahead and date. But if you don't want to, don't think you need to. Just be you and do what is right for you. Choose yourself first and the rest will fall into place when it's time.

[rainbowsandroses]

3 hours ago, ShySoul said:

One, there is no proof he is married. No one actually knows anything about him other then he only want sex. Whatever his reason, no need to judge him or make assumptions about him. If it's not what you want, then just let him be and focus on you. 

If you don't know how to date, and have never dated, then don't date. Dating is not a necessity in life. It is not the only way to meet someone. You were with someone for 18 years without dating. I'm 41 and have never dated either, yet I've met people where there was mutual interest. Dating isn't the end all be all and isn't for everyone. If you aren't comfortable with it, don't do it.

You don't lack a spine. You have a very strong spine and sense of self worth. If you didn't, you wouldn't have seen this was a problem, wouldn't have posted about it, and wouldn't have ended it. You would have kept going and let it hurt you more. It takes strength and courage to admit to a mistake and address it. And you did it. We all make mistakes. The weak ones through the blame on others or continue to hurt themselves, holding onto hurt and bitterness. But the strong ones take ownership and work to do better. You are one of the strong ones.

You don't need therapy. You don't need new friendships. You don't need dating or relationships. You need to embrace you. You need to find happiness on your own, doing something you love. At the end of the day, we have to be proud of who we are and love ourself. We have to accept ourselfs, strenghts and weaknesses alike. We need to find the thing that sparks joy within us, without relying about what others think or do. It's that sense of inner fulfillment that will make us happy and content with our life.

So you are you? What do you like? What will make you happy? Do those things. Love yourself, without any consideration of how others view you. If you are truly happy with yourself, you are never alone.

@CosmicJellybean...

I agree with this^^ post 1000%. 

I highlighted the parts that stood out to me but basically the entire post is valuable imo and hope you're able to value in it as well.

I watched a Ted talk video recently discussing "dating" (particularly online dating) and comparing it to an "audition" or a "job interview."

This person is a stranger and the expectations and pressure to "romantically connect" often actually result in your NOT connecting due to nerves/anxiety interacting wth a complete stranger and/or too much overthinking prior to meeting. 

Just my opinion as it's happened to me which is why the few men I've met online recently I met immediately (like that same night!) when our online interaction was in high gear and we decided to strike while the iron was hot so to speak.

Versus prolonging the meet even just a couple of days, and in the meantime nerves and anxiety kick in and before you know it, you're overthinking yourself right out of going! 

Or you go but the pressure and expectations to connect are so high, you're nervous, anxious, NOT your best self and nothing ends up happening!

And that's it!  No second chances in most cases.  You bombed the "audition" or didn't pass the "interview" process. 

*** Obviously, it works great for those fortunate people who are more extroverted and/or feel comfortable having a one-on-one interaction with a complete stranger.... and actually having it lead to feeling that "spark" leading to a second meet/date, but I think it's rare. 

This has happened to so many people who do online dating which explains all the flaking etc.  Just my opinion from what I've observed from others and my own experiences. 

My advice @CosmicJellybean is this:

You can continue dating if you find value in it OR 

You can opt to meeting people the natural way wherein you're interacting regularly in a more relaxed comfortable way wherein the goal is NOT to "romantically connect" but rather get to know each other over time.

Begin doing things you enjoy, done in groups.  Join clubs such as hiking, dancing, movies, books, cooking, art, whatever interests you! 

Let the attraction and connection develop naturally versus feeling forced like with online dating.

Many many couple's have gotten together this way, discovered gradually there was a mutual attraction, went on to have a relationship, gotten married. 

And stayed married!

On 9/26/2024 at 6:08 PM, CosmicJellybean said:

I was with my husband from 20-38 & have been alone the last 9 years since then. I just started to see about getting into dating about 6 months ago but I don’t know how to proceed since I’ve never really dated & definitely don’t know how to start at my age.

^^Thank you for sharing this^^! 

I sensed when reading your initial post and stating you were 47, we were missing important context and this was it. 

Of course you don't know how to proceed, you haven't dated in almost 30 years, so much has changed! 

So naturally you're trying different things and you're bound to make some mistakes.  

I've certainly made my share of mistakes as well, some doozies in fact! 

And looking back, I literally cringe and no it wasn't a "good look" in any way shape or form!

But the important thing is you recognized the mistake and quite quickly I might add which is to be applauded imo not criticized and shamed for. 

The take away is you learned something valuable from it, and it most likely made you a stronger and obviously more knowledgeable person as well, good for you!  

Re this guy, view him as nothing but someone you learned from in a covert way, nothing more nothing less.

There is a popular saying I agree with:

"Everyone you meet in life becomes your teacher.  Some you will seek, some you will subconsciously attract.  Often you simply learn by observing others. Some may be completely unaware I'm learning from them, yet I bow deeply in gratitude." 

Viewing every experience both negative and positive in this light prevents you from becoming bitter and jaded which sadly from observation happens far too often.

In any event, and whatever you decide to do, good luck!!  💛

 

 

 

 

 

[Batya33]

If you decide to date OP please don't count this interaction with this person as related to dating because for one thing it will likely make you feel jaded or very wary about dating.  If you're not sure about dating and you balance it in your mind -putting aside this sexual and sex-focused interaction with this man - as the downsides aren't worth the benefits -then don't! I know what worked for me in dating and what did not but I also had a very different reason for dating and being out there proactively meeting men to date for most of the decades I dated. Fortunately as a reasonably intelligent and thoughtful human I'm able to see dating from a variety of perspectives and help those who have different goals. 

Have a friend in her 60s who is now dating purely to meet hot looking men mostly through online apps-who are of a specific type-looks wise to have fun dating and perhaps some romance.  Since I can't really relate to that (other than when I was a teen) - even if I try to see it from her view -I have little input to give.

But I sensed you were ready to venture into dating with somewhat of a serious goal and instead took

If you are interested in dating I can relate to why you would want to do so and feel I can give valuable input especially since I strongly believe dating is optional.

 

[SophiaG]

7 hours ago, ShySoul said:

If you don't know how to date, and have never dated, then don't date.

Well, everyone has to start somewhere! Sure sometimes fish might jump into your boat but if you don't actively go fishing, more often than not you will have no fish to eat. 😉

Dating is not a necessity but meeting someone you like is nice. Being with someone you like and likes you is very rewarding and being in love is a beautiful way to enjoy life. It's okay to pull back when you're hurt or exhausted by bad experience but why discourage OP from dating? It's just another life skill to acquire and use.

[ShySoul]

6 hours ago, rainbowsandroses said:

Begin doing things you enjoy, done in groups.  Join clubs such as hiking, dancing, movies, books, cooking, art, whatever interests you! 

Let the attraction and connection develop naturally versus feeling forced like with online dating.

Many many couple's have gotten together this way, discovered gradually there was a mutual attraction, went on to have a relationship, gotten married. 

And stayed married!

@CosmicJellybean I agree with this^^ post 1000%. The whole thing is spot on. I'm just highlighting what stood out for me.

The path to love is varied. People find it in so many ways. You can find it dating people. You can find it growing between you and a real good friend. You can find it in a club or group for a hobby you enjoy. You can find it with the person you stike a random conversation with while waiting for a bus. You can find it with someone who messages you on a forum (that one is pretty nice 😉). You can be introduced by friends or be co-workers. It can happen anytime, in anyway.

Choose the way that feels right for you. Choose make make you most comfortable. Being comfortable frees you to unwind and let that light inside of you fully shine. And when that light is shining, it can be a very attractive thing.

6 hours ago, rainbowsandroses said:

But the important thing is you recognized the mistake and quite quickly I might add which is to be applauded imo not criticized and shamed for...

"Everyone you meet in life becomes your teacher.  Some you will seek, some you will subconsciously attract.  Often you simply learn by observing others. Some may be completely unaware I'm learning from them, yet I bow deeply in gratitude." 

Viewing every experience both negative and positive in this light prevents you from becoming bitter and jaded which sadly from observation happens far too often.

Yes, you should be applauded. You saw the error and you did something about it. That is something a lot of people wouldn't have been able to do. Don't feel bad about it, feel good that you saw what was happening and didn't stand for it any longer.

All of our experiences, good and bad, are life lessons. The important thing is to learn from them, to take something from it and use it to grow and do better going forward. This experience has taught you a valuable lesson on what you want from a relationship and what you are not willing to accept. If you take that with you, it wasn't a mistake. It was learning experience that will help you grow and have a better relationship when the time is right.

And the time will be right eventually. Concentrate on you for now and good things will come your way. You've still got time and plenty of it.

[ShySoul]

2 hours ago, SophiaG said:

Well, everyone has to start somewhere! Sure sometimes fish might jump into your boat but if you don't actively go fishing, more often than not you will have no fish to eat. 😉

Dating is not a necessity but meeting someone you like is nice. Being with someone you like and likes you is very rewarding and being in love is a beautiful way to enjoy life. It's okay to pull back when you're hurt or exhausted by bad experience but why discourage OP from dating? It's just another life skill to acquire and use.

But if you don't know how to fish, or don't like fish, then going actively fishing isn't going to help you. Just putting me on a boat is going to guarantee I end up starving. Would make more sense for me to go the store and get a nice delicious ham instead. 😉

Not trying to discourage her from dating. She's free to do it if she wants. Just trying to open her up to seeing there are other ways if she isn't up to dating.

I'm actually more concerned with her saying she doesn't have any friends. To jump straight to dating feels like trying to run a marathon before she's even walking. Usually best to acclimate yourself and get comfortable with people and social situations in general. Find happiness and be able to enjoy life on your own before adding the extra layers of dating, if you even want to date.

Greatest love of my life came without dating or looking for someone. It came without even trying. I was simple posting on a forum and she messaged me. We started as friends because we got along well and thought alike. I was even hung up on someone else at the time, so there was no romantic intent at all. But feelings grew. Having it come together naturally, all the things that had to happen in just the right way for it to happen, was a magical experience that was just as rewarding and didn't require as to learn or use any kind of skill other then being us and being open to it. It was as if a supernatural force brought us together. 

Nothing wrong with dating. Nothing wrong with not dating. Do what is right for you. Keep yourself open to all possibilities. What's meant to be will always find a way, and that way could be anyway, not just limited to one path that was developed a century ago.

[Batya33]

8 hours ago, SophiaG said:

Well, everyone has to start somewhere! Sure sometimes fish might jump into your boat but if you don't actively go fishing, more often than not you will have no fish to eat. 😉

Dating is not a necessity but meeting someone you like is nice. Being with someone you like and likes you is very rewarding and being in love is a beautiful way to enjoy life. It's okay to pull back when you're hurt or exhausted by bad experience but why discourage OP from dating? It's just another life skill to acquire and use.

OP I agree. Also gets you out of your comfort zone and may show you different sides of yourself. we've been married almost 16 years and we met in 1994. Late 50s now.  We went on a date a week ago because our son was away on an overnight.  We walked 4 miles round trip through a beautiful park and neighborhoods to go to a gourmet ice cream place and then Trader Joes lol.  Then we came home and sat on our couch and watched another hour of Doctor Zhivago and cuddled.  We only looked at our phones to respond to incessant texts from our son, to take a photo and to look up the list of ice cream flavors I think.

To many people this is mundane.  But we each work tooooo  hard including on weekends.  And we have since we met and we each did even before that. 

We don't make enough time for each other one on one to do this sort of hours long just us thing.  We talk all the time every day -we telework feet away from each other but not like this.  So it reminded me that it's so important to leave work aside, so important to see the trees with your partner and share his favorite flavor of ice cream (I didn't like the other todays flavors), to comment on how silly it is to have Pumpkin Flavored Everything and to watch a classic movie he loved and wanted to show me.  Even us old married types needed a little shove outside the comfort zone and to refresh those skills of just being together and yes learning new stuff.  In a chill way -we had silly conversations, more important ones, and lots of just walking and people watching and sampling ice cream flavors.  Seeing nature together which we love to do as a family but it's different one on one.

Oh and it wasn't expensive - $7 ice cream and a couple of extras at Trader Joes.

[CosmicJellybean]

Again, I want to thank everyone for their input and advice. I’m actually amazed at how nice or not demeaning the comments were. I’ve done a lot of thinking on this and the advice given has helped.

I’m trying to develop social connections and friends but it obviously takes time and is extremely anxiety-ridden for an introvert. One of the reasons I am lacking friends is that my husband was controlling, narcissistic (verified by a therapist), & slowly separated me from friends and family until it was just me, him, and my daughter together all the time and the only family we saw were his. I did have work friends but had to fight hard to see them outside of work which was not often. Those friendships are only through FB or IG now due to distance and life changes. I spent the last few years of my marriage being a caregiver so I had no time for anything else. After that I was dealing with grief from being widowed, having 5 other family members die within 6 months of my husband (including my mom), and raising a child. I also found out I had cancer at the start of Covid & had to deal with that so I couldn’t see people I knew much less meet new people. Since then I’ve gone to work at a small place with mostly older women who are nice but we don’t have enough in common to pursue friendships outside of work. I did have one friend that I became extremely close to after my husband’s death. She is actually the wife of my husband’s best friend and I have known them both for 26 years. We actually used to get together quite often as a small friend group with a few of their friends after I moved into the same town but Covid began the demise of that. However, she has a lot of issues & tends to cut people off & ghost them for various reasons without any explanation. She did that to me a couple years ago and the group totally “disbanded” not long after that. I’m still friends with the husband even though they are separated and we go to dinner almost every week. He has been upgraded to my best friend. That is all it will be despite my mother in law wishing otherwise however, because neither of us is even remotely interested in the other like that. He is the only person I talk to on a regular basis though & we have always had so much in common that we usually have dinner & talk for another one to two hours. I wish I could find someone as nice as him, am as comfortable with, and that I can talk to like that. I know I can’t depend on this close of a relationship in the future If he gets remarried after getting divorced. Unless I can befriend the new wife. (Getting ahead of myself there!) So I know I need to expand my friend group.

I have joined a similar interest group that meets once a month and have already attended a get-together once. That was very difficult for me but I did it & talked to some nice people. The next meeting is in a couple of days. So I am actually trying to meet people without a romantic agenda. It’s just hard because I don’t know how to go about it. I did meet another new friend on the same app I met the guy on. It was for friends as well. She and I are sooooo much alike and have met a few times to talk and get to know each other. So I have two friends I see and am trying to meet more. I’m just super shy and anxious around new people. 
My daughter is now an adult & she and my mother in law are both wanting me to meet people and find someone. I wish it was that easy. I wasn’t great at this even when I was younger. 
So there is some more information if anyone is interested in why I am the way I am, do the things I do, and make the mistakes I make. I thought I had made more progress in the area of personal relationships but this has made me see that old habits & tendencies are just below the surface still when it comes to romantic (or whatever you want to call it) relationships. It’s an extremely lonely place to be and so much work to change.

[TeeDee]

Give some thought to reaching back out to old friends.  Sometimes it is possible to reconnect.  I bet there is someone from your past who would love to hear from you.  But don't get down if they don't respond right away.  

[LootieTootie]

44 minutes ago, CosmicJellybean said:

It’s an extremely lonely place to be and so much work to change.

Everyone has their own shortcomings. At least you know what your shortcomings are- you acknowledge them and you try to work on them consistently. I also think because of your husband being the person he was, he really did a number on your self-confidence. Now that you're able to get out of the bubble, it is like learning about yourself all over - what do you like? what makes you happy? Instead of leaning on someone else to tell or dictate that for you.

I am someone who truly believes that when you're the happiest, you attract the loveliest people including potential quality partners. Keep working on yourself and finding yourself. I think there is a rainbow at the end of the tunnel for you.

[Tinydance]

49 minutes ago, CosmicJellybean said:

Again, I want to thank everyone for their input and advice. I’m actually amazed at how nice or not demeaning the comments were. I’ve done a lot of thinking on this and the advice given has helped.

I’m trying to develop social connections and friends but it obviously takes time and is extremely anxiety-ridden for an introvert. One of the reasons I am lacking friends is that my husband was controlling, narcissistic (verified by a therapist), & slowly separated me from friends and family until it was just me, him, and my daughter together all the time and the only family we saw were his. I did have work friends but had to fight hard to see them outside of work which was not often. Those friendships are only through FB or IG now due to distance and life changes. I spent the last few years of my marriage being a caregiver so I had no time for anything else. After that I was dealing with grief from being widowed, having 5 other family members die within 6 months of my husband (including my mom), and raising a child. I also found out I had cancer at the start of Covid & had to deal with that so I couldn’t see people I knew much less meet new people. Since then I’ve gone to work at a small place with mostly older women who are nice but we don’t have enough in common to pursue friendships outside of work. I did have one friend that I became extremely close to after my husband’s death. She is actually the wife of my husband’s best friend and I have known them both for 26 years. We actually used to get together quite often as a small friend group with a few of their friends after I moved into the same town but Covid began the demise of that. However, she has a lot of issues & tends to cut people off & ghost them for various reasons without any explanation. She did that to me a couple years ago and the group totally “disbanded” not long after that. I’m still friends with the husband even though they are separated and we go to dinner almost every week. He has been upgraded to my best friend. That is all it will be despite my mother in law wishing otherwise however, because neither of us is even remotely interested in the other like that. He is the only person I talk to on a regular basis though & we have always had so much in common that we usually have dinner & talk for another one to two hours. I wish I could find someone as nice as him, am as comfortable with, and that I can talk to like that. I know I can’t depend on this close of a relationship in the future If he gets remarried after getting divorced. Unless I can befriend the new wife. (Getting ahead of myself there!) So I know I need to expand my friend group.

I have joined a similar interest group that meets once a month and have already attended a get-together once. That was very difficult for me but I did it & talked to some nice people. The next meeting is in a couple of days. So I am actually trying to meet people without a romantic agenda. It’s just hard because I don’t know how to go about it. I did meet another new friend on the same app I met the guy on. It was for friends as well. She and I are sooooo much alike and have met a few times to talk and get to know each other. So I have two friends I see and am trying to meet more. I’m just super shy and anxious around new people. 
My daughter is now an adult & she and my mother in law are both wanting me to meet people and find someone. I wish it was that easy. I wasn’t great at this even when I was younger. 
So there is some more information if anyone is interested in why I am the way I am, do the things I do, and make the mistakes I make. I thought I had made more progress in the area of personal relationships but this has made me see that old habits & tendencies are just below the surface still when it comes to romantic (or whatever you want to call it) relationships. It’s an extremely lonely place to be and so much work to change.

Yes I'm interested. Please feel free to write more if you like. I think a person that could probably really relate to you is my Mum. She was with my Dad for 43 years and he wasn't controlling but my Mum is shy and an introvert. My Dad was extremely outgoing and the only couple of friends she had was through him. She's still friends with those people now Dad has passed which is good. I know she's listening to a podcast about how to get out of your shell as an introvert or something. Maybe you could also listen to a podcast or read some books about it? I could ask my Mum what the podcast is if you'd be interested. I'm pretty sure it's just free on Spotify.

I don't think it's ever too late to start fresh. Your husband is gone now so he's not here to control or isolate you. Now you just do what YOU want! Making friends as an adult is hard and it's slow. Like, you can keep going to a social group 100 times and not connect with anyone. But on the 101 time there might be someone there who you click with. It takes a lot of effort and patience.

I think just continue going to social events and doing hobbies you like. Enjoy the event itself e.g. going to the movies. Enjoy seeing the movie and meeting a friend or partner would just be a bonus. I said the same to my Mum. My Mum also has only two friends so I suggested she just needs some acquaintances just to do things with. I think it's OK if it's not a "bestie" but it's more like activity companion. And maybe that acquaintance would introduce you to their social circle as well.

In terms of dating, you don't HAVE to. Being in a relationship isn't compulsory. If you want to date. If you don't want to, don't date. It's up to you. Your daughter is an adult, your husband is gone. Now it's jelly bean's time! Lol

[SophiaG]

Good to hear you are trying to meet more friends, OP! I have friends with social anxiety and to them joining activity-focused events instead of purely social events helped a lot. Maybe you can try more interest-related groups with more frequent meetups, or try volunteering. Good luck!

[ShySoul]

On 10/3/2024 at 3:40 PM, CosmicJellybean said:

So there is some more information if anyone is interested in why I am the way I am, do the things I do, and make the mistakes I make. I thought I had made more progress in the area of personal relationships but this has made me see that old habits & tendencies are just below the surface still when it comes to romantic (or whatever you want to call it) relationships. It’s an extremely lonely place to be and so much work to change.

I'm actually inspired by your story. Given what you've been through, it would be easy to be the recluse that never goes out or tries to have contact. It would be hard to trust people and easy to separate yourself further. But you are trying. Remember, it's a journey, not a lightswitch. It takes time and you might need to take baby steps, dipping your toes here and there. It's okay to take a step back if something doesn't feel right. Just do two steps forward for every one back. You'll get where you want to be eventually.

As a shy introvert with bouts of anxiety, I can say it's not easy. It can be very lonely. But see there really isn't anything wrong with you. There is simple you and you are fine as the person you are. Try not to stress about meeting people. Concentrate on having fun with whatever it is you are doing. If you are having fun with it, that will show and the postive energy will catch on with others. If it's a meetup, these people are probably just as nervous as you. So you're all in the same boat. Most people are nice and no one who is worth your time is going to be judging you. So try not to care what others think and just let that awesome person inside of you shine.

Please share more of your story if you are comfortable. We are here for you and want you to be happy.

FYI, I'll always recommend the following site for introverts. It's been a big help to me and hopefully you can find something that helps you feel less anxious about meeting people. There is also dating and relationship articles for when you are ready, and just good tips for situations all around.

https://introvertdear.com/news/how-ive-learned-to-overcome-my-social-anxiety-as-an-introvert/