I feel like i wasted my life,any advice?

[Vectorland]

Hello, i am 17 years old male and graduated from highschool, will go to college next year and i feel like i missed out my youth by not partying, smoking, drug etc ... In my highschool life

 

I know it really sounds stupid to you but whenever i go out, i see people are having fun at bars etc.. with their friends or partners having fun i feel like i am not a fun person or i did not have a fun life which makes me feel i am wasted my life

Thia feelings also makes me scared that i will be alone when i got into college..

 

I isolated myself bc of pandemics first two year of hg, last two year of it, i tried to socilize but not much

 

Am i overthinking?, what should i do or think about this?

 

 

[TeeDee]

You did not waste your life.  Your life hasn't even begun.  If the numbers on your age were reversed (71) then maybe I could see where regrets could be valid. 

Nobody should be partying, smoking, doing drugs or drinking in HIGH SCHOOL.  You are all still just kids.  Substances that alter your brain chemistry can do really bad things to developing brains.  Be grateful & proud of yourself that you are not doing those things.  Why do you want to put poison in yourself? 

Here's how I always felt about drugs, even when I was your age.  Drugs are illegal.  The people who sell them are criminals.  Even if I wanted to experiment how can I trust that I'm getting what I paid for or that they didn't cut the drugs with something harmful like rat poison?   Better to just stay away. 

There will plenty of time for partying & self exploration in college. The key is balance.  Your studies have to come first but it's OK to cut loose once in a while. 

Stop with the regrets.  Keep up with your school work & try to remember that the HS nerds & smart kids inherit the world & make all the money.  So keeping your nose to the grindstone is a good thing.  

[Batya33]

I’ve never been drunk or tried illegal drugs. I’m 58. Because I lived near a major city by age 14 I was going to all the cool clubs in the city most often by public transportation and the drink age was 18 and no one checked. It was awesome fun. I went to dance. A number of my friends used drugs and got drunk. I did not. I never had sex with anyone etc maybe I kissed a guy and I danced but back then it wasn’t really close dancing for the most part. I had a high school sweetheart from age 15-18 but we weren’t exclusive that whole time. I didn’t go away for college other than first semester so I missed out that way. Also I did all the cultural stuff my city offered. Theater concerts museums.
I suggest you do what is healthful and fun - you’re only 17. See if you can go on hikes or travel or learn swing dancing and then go out dancing. Volunteer where you’re passionate about the cause. Maybe an animal shelter. I traveled to Europe and internationally otherwise as a teenager once with a teen tour. See if you can do that. 

Our son was 11 in 2020 so he missed his first trip away from home and many other experiences. I’m really sorry and I can relate. It was so hard for teenagers!

[TeeDee]

3 hours ago, Vectorland said:

I isolated myself bc of pandemics first two year of hg, last two year of it, i tried to socilize but not much

 

Am i overthinking?, what should i do or think about this?

Coming of age in Covid was tough.  You were forced to be isolated.  That is not good for anyone & it's having a profound impact on young people across the board, not just you. 

What you do is get out there & do things now.  Join a team or club at school.  Spend time with your friends.  Go to school events.  You live life & socialize.  You don't need drugs to do any of that. 

If you feel shy, insecure or awkward that is the reality of being a teenager.  Everybody experiences the same fears.  Some just cover them up better.  It's bravado, fake it til you make it. 

You will be fine when you transition to college.  Everybody at your school will be in the same boat & the school will do things to help you make friends. 

[yogacat]

Awe, kid, you're only 17 years old. There is no  rule that says that by now in your life you should have experienced all the fun things to do, or that you should consider yourself a boring person if you haven't done certain things. You're witnessing the effects of movie and media messages that tell us "this is what real life is like." View entertainment as someone else's story, as opposed to what your life experience should be.

[Cherylyn]

Missed out?  Are you kidding me?  Those who "missed out" are the most successful and prosperous in life or so I've noticed.  🫢

I didn't party,  never drank,  never did drugs.  Be grateful you're on the straight and narrow.  Continue living a clean life because as my mother-in-law (MIL) used to say,  "While some people sloshed around in the milk,  the cream rose to the top."  It was her country way of saying those who partied and fooled around,  wasted time while those who remained focused on their goals,  surpassed them all.  She was right.  👍 🙂

Never follow the crowd.  They may seem cool to you but they're not smart enough to realize they're wasting their youth.  They'll have regrets later as adults. 

As for you,  be wise.  Concentrate on a proper future for yourself and you will attract like minded people.  Live a wholesome,  moral life because it will pay off in the long run.  ☺️

[Kwothe28]

FOMO(Fear Of Missing Out) is a real thing no matter what people tell you. It even influences some of our decisions. For example our spending habits. You may not want that new iPhone or to watch that new popular TV show. But you will miss out on things or when your friends talk about things. So you cave in and buy stuff or just watch that TV show even though you didnt want it. So I wont scold you for it. You feel like you missed out some stuff. And you want to do them. And I can tell you its maybe better to do them earlier in life. I have seen some example of people who start late with those stuff. Not pretty.

Anyway, you are still very young. And there is a time and place for everything and its called college. I am sure there will be opportunity for you to do all those stuff there. In moderation I hope so. Sometimes you have to try some stuff to see if they are for you. In high school on class trip, I tried cigarettes. Not my thing and didnt saw enjoyment, like I smoked money in front of my eyes lol. So I just dont smoke ever since. 

[Coily]

It's not an uncommon feeling when you feel a bit outside of the social circles you see. I've been there done that. Once you get past HS you will find things that you want to do, and on your terms. There's a lot more to finding enjoyment in life than the party scene in HS.

Also, you only live once. So I'm not going to tell you to live life like you're in a monastery, you need to cut loose and find out what makes you feel fulfilled.  But don't do anything to fit in. Be yourself.

I agree with Kwothe, get the wild and crazy out of your system young. Acting impetuously 30 years down the road will probably have more significant negative effects.

[Cherylyn]

I observed a friend of mine and her sister.  My friend lived a clean,  very moral life.  No,  she didn't live like a nun.  However,  she surrounded herself with her brethren in her comfort zone,  served in various ministries at her local church,  volunteered in her community,  concentrated on her studies,  was the girl next door,  kept herself tidy,   always "a good girl" and married a great gentleman.  She married well.  She currently has a family and her life is successful.  She followed her wise instincts.  Her common sense paid off and then some.  👍 ☺️

Then there is her sister,  the wild child,  party girl who bounced from one boyfriend to the next at a dizzying pace.  😵  She got herself into trouble several times.  She built an unsavory reputation for herself. 👎 😒 There were a lot of breakups along the way and  many heartaches.  She associated with the wrong crowd,  smoked,  drank,  did drugs,  has more tattoos than there is any skin left,  wears multiple piercings all over,  wears different colored hair dependent on the week and her empty life transformed into a train wreck.  She is a floundering hot mess.  She wears dark circles under her eyes and has aged beyond her years.  😖 ☹️

Who do you think wasted a lot of years and missed out now?  🙄