Found out that I may have cancer, don’t feel I can tell anyone

[Looktothesky]

I’ve had a physical issue that I put off looking into for over a year. I went to my primary care doctor last week and was ordered blood work and an ultrasound.

I got my blood work done last night. This morning I got a call from the doctor’s office saying that one testicle was ok but the other had elevated levels of [she didn’t say what]. I could tell by her tone as soon as I got on the phone that it probably wasn’t great. They scheduled a urology appointment for me on Thursday and I have the ultrasound on Monday.

So it is looking likely that I have cancer. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to worry my family too soon by telling them. And my dad died from cancer so I’m doubly worried to tell them. I wish I could tell a friend but it just feels like too much to bother someone with if I don’t even know for sure.

I’m terrified. I don’t want to die and I don’t want my life to be permanently changed from this. But it’s looking like one or both is a possibility.

The only person I’d possibly feel comfortable feeling at this point is my sister. But she has two small children and I don’t want to cause any additional stress

 

[SophiaG]

I can imagine how scary it is, but please don't jump to the worst possible conclusion yet. Doctors rarely diagnose cancer from a simple blood test and there can be many possibilities.

You are not alone. Health scares are more common than you think and many people in your life might have experienced them without discussing with their friends, family etc. The only thing you can control at this point is how to react. Go to the doctor appointments and see what they say. Until then try not to worry too much and distract yourself with people and things you love. Stay off Google and WebMD etc. that can tell you you have a myriad of deadly diseases. Even if the tests bring bad news, check with a different doctor or two for a second/third opinion. Many cancers and other serious diseases are treatable nowadays. You can help your body recover by staying positive.

[Looktothesky]

Thank you. I did not tell anybody yesterday and I’m glad I did not. I was able to make an appointment with my therapist today so hopefully that will help.

The combination of the raised levels being part of the “tumor marker” test combined with the lady on the phone’s urgent tone don’t give me much hope unfortunately.

[tattoobunnie]

18 hours ago, Looktothesky said:

I’m terrified. I don’t want to die and I don’t want my life to be permanently changed from this. But it’s looking like one or both is a possibility.

TELL THEM NOW!  Your friends and family love you.  Let them.

[Looktothesky]

I wish it were that simple. I am not close with my brother at all and he is not very emotionally available. My sister has two small children to take care of and also not so emotionally available. And my mom has untreated anxiety which would make the situation doubly (at least) stressful for me. 

[Coily]

Man, I'm sorry to read this.

Get the tests done, find out if it really is cancer or not. Then once you have the diagnosis, then think on how to let everyone know. Yes it's going to be difficult, but they should know.

Take this all one step at a time.

[TeeDee]

I think you should tell them.  Even if they have concerns of their own they will want to be there for you.  It's sweet that you don't want to upset them but you can't spare them at the risk of damaging yourself.  

You need support.  You would give it to them if they asked.  Let them love you & help you. 

I hope the diagnosis is something else or it's treatable. 

[tattoobunnie]

On 9/25/2024 at 12:52 PM, Looktothesky said:

I wish it were that simple. I am not close with my brother at all and he is not very emotionally available. My sister has two small children to take care of and also not so emotionally available. And my mom has untreated anxiety which would make the situation doubly (at least) stressful for me. 

What do you mean by not emotionally available?  Anyone can be supportive in different ways, and it does not have to be with a positive message thoughts and prayers kind of way.  I have two small children, and plan to take my big bro to his radiation treatment in 3 weeks everyday that week.  We don't talk about emotions and stuff; don't need to.

[ShySoul]

On 9/25/2024 at 9:52 AM, Looktothesky said:

I wish it were that simple. I am not close with my brother at all and he is not very emotionally available. My sister has two small children to take care of and also not so emotionally available. And my mom has untreated anxiety which would make the situation doubly (at least) stressful for me. 

I would find out more information from the doctors first before I say anything. You want to know what to say before unloading all of this on them. 

But if it is cancer, you won't be able to handle it on your own. You will need that support. Not saying anything will only cause you more stress, which won't help in dealing with the cancer.

Family will be there. It's what family does. My family isn't physically or emotionally there for me most of the time. Other then my mother I haven't spoken to them in ages, and I'm always the one who has to call her. But I know if something like this happened to me, they would want to know. They would be offering whatever help they could. Even though I had problems with my father, when he ended up in a hospital once, I dropped everything to fly to see him. When my brother had a stroke, I was on the phone constantly for updates.

Times of stress can bring people closer, can remind us what we have in common and what we stand to lose. Talk to them. They will understand and be there.