Boyfriend watching teen porn

[pine_nut_dancing]

Hi,

I've discovered that my boyfriend watches a lot of porn on reddit. I was okay with porn, however, I've found a comment on a very young looking girl's naked body (she looked 15 years old) and I was completely floored. I'm in a bit of shock as I write this, and I'm just not sure how I should move forward with this. It is deeply disturbing AND I love him deeply. How do I begin navigating this? I'm worried he has some creepy habits that might indicate a character trait that is harmful. Has he ever done anything to a young teen? I know this is jumping to conclusions, I just felt like this was really abnormal to watch. He is 41. 
 

He also has a very strong reddit presence and now I'm just concerned about so many other things he might be up to on there... I can't see his personal messages (nor is it appropriate to try to look), but now I'm having a sickly feeling in my gut and want to investigate. We are only 9 months into the relationship, so trust is still being formed. So yes, for those who might frame it as a trust issue, that is developing still and this did not help. I'm just not sure what steps to take as I feel OVERWHELMED. Thank you for any help.

[Seraphim]

Personally I would be gone . 

[pine_nut_dancing]

4 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

Personally I would be gone . 

Thanks for saying that, hard to hear. I think in my gut I feel this way too, but I'm also giving myself some time to process all this (I just learned about it last night). I'm so crushed because I was getting very committed to this person. It's so hard to accept this, really really painful. 

[ShySoul]

I find teen porn to my disturbing. Technically, I believe the actresses are supposed to be adults who look younger and are playing that role. It doesn't necessarily indicate they have or would do anything with a teen. It's more the forbidden nature of it, the idea of innocence or purity. Though in my opinion that's already bad enough. Even the thought of someone younger feels wrong. I'm a male who is 41 as well and wouldn't consider looking at a teen that way. Even when I was closer to that age I still preferred older women, not ones who looked like children.

If you really want to give it a chance, talk to him about it. It may be a kink and nothing more. It may even be about something in his past. The only way to know is to ask and figure out if his answer is acceptable to you or if it is something you can't accept.

And if it is too much for you, that's fine. You shouldn't have to accept something that makes you uncomfortable. It's painful and I'm sorry you have to feel this. But it's better to know now then when you were even more committed. I know if my partner was into teens like that, I'd hear them out but be ready to leave in a heartbeat if I didn't like what I heard.

Make the choice that is right for you. Best wishes.

[shouldhavelearned]

Not good if legit underage

Be careful 

[AuthenticSelf]

1 hour ago, pine_nut_dancing said:

He is 41. 

It makes sense, he is probably single for too long. 

Give him time. 

[Batya33]

1 hour ago, pine_nut_dancing said:

Hi,

I've discovered that my boyfriend watches a lot of porn on reddit. I was okay with porn, however, I've found a comment on a very young looking girl's naked body (she looked 15 years old) and I was completely floored. I'm in a bit of shock as I write this, and I'm just not sure how I should move forward with this. It is deeply disturbing AND I love him deeply. How do I begin navigating this? I'm worried he has some creepy habits that might indicate a character trait that is harmful. Has he ever done anything to a young teen? I know this is jumping to conclusions, I just felt like this was really abnormal to watch. He is 41. 
 

He also has a very strong reddit presence and now I'm just concerned about so many other things he might be up to on there... I can't see his personal messages (nor is it appropriate to try to look), but now I'm having a sickly feeling in my gut and want to investigate. We are only 9 months into the relationship, so trust is still being formed. So yes, for those who might frame it as a trust issue, that is developing still and this did not help. I'm just not sure what steps to take as I feel OVERWHELMED. Thank you for any help.

I'd not associate with this person at all.  I'm sorry.