How do I attract a girlfriend if I am too short?

[Fakewingz]

4 minutes ago, Cherylyn said:

Concentrate on being a good person with a life of your own because nothing is more attractive than an independent man because it demonstrates strength.

Your post would be like a man saying "my wife looked like a supermodel when I got with her... but it wouldn't have been a dealbreaker if she didn't". 

[Batya33]

Just now, Fakewingz said:

Your post would be like a man saying "my wife looked like a supermodel when I got with her... but it wouldn't have been a dealbreaker if she didn't". 

I’ve never met a man who would say such a thing about his wife unless it was a not funny joke. 

[Fakewingz]

2 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

I’ve never met a man who would say such a thing about his wife unless it was a not funny joke. 

Way to miss the point. 

Cherylyn said that her husband happened to be over six foot, like that was a coincidence and not part of the attraction. 

[Fakewingz]

13 minutes ago, Cherylyn said:

Concentrate on being a good person with a life of your own because nothing is more attractive than an independent man because it demonstrates strength.

It's interesting how the more I ask for advice, the more people confirm and compound my fears and anxieties. 

It's obvious to me that I don't belong and never should've been born. I know what I have to do next. 

[Batya33]

1 minute ago, Fakewingz said:

Way to miss the point. 

Cherylyn said that her husband happened to be over six foot, like that was a coincidence and not part of the attraction. 

lol so are you posting just to vent and be rude ? Seems so. The main reason I declined first meets or second dates was negativity. Especially if it involved generalizations about groups of people.  It was tiresome and unintelligent /boring to me. I preferred shorter men. I am petite. We knew genetically our son likely would be short and we were fine with that. Shorter men have it harder of course than shorter women. In many different areas. But I preferred shorter men. 

[Batya33]

1 minute ago, Fakewingz said:

It's interesting how the more I ask for advice, the more people confirm and compound my fears and anxieties. 

It's obvious to me that I don't belong and never should've been born. I know what I have to do next. 

Please contact a mental health crisis line if you really feel that way. Take care and I hope you feel better. 

[Cherylyn]

6 minutes ago, Fakewingz said:

Way to miss the point. 

Cherylyn said that her husband happened to be over six foot, like that was a coincidence and not part of the attraction. 

It wasn't part of the equation because the main and most important factor is character.  Also,  naturally,  I didn't want to "look forward" to a lifetime of hardship and struggle.  Most people want a stable life. 

Money isn't everything but comfortable finances is important. 

Instead of having the "woe is me" attitude,  pull yourself up and focus on your own life because this is what attracts others to you.  Get busy with your work,  health,  self interests whether it's intellect,  hobbies,  outings,  hobbies or whatever.  Make yourself intriguing.  This is how you make yourself well rounded and appealing. 

[Fakewingz]

Just now, Cherylyn said:

It wasn't part of the equation because the main and most important factor is character.  Also,  naturally,  I didn't want to "look forward" to a lifetime of hardship and struggle.  Most people want a stable life. 

Money isn't everything but comfortable finances is important. 

Instead of having the "woe is me" attitude,  pull yourself up and focus on your own life because this is what attracts others to you.  Get busy with your work,  health,  self interests whether it's intellect,  hobbies,  outings,  hobbies or whatever.  Make yourself intriguing.  This is how you make yourself well rounded and appealing. 

At least you are honest, which is less than I can say about a lot of people in advice circles. 

But the stuff about the attitude, hobbies, interests etc. That was where you let yourself down. You don't need to say all that on my account. You're saying what you think I want to hear or what you think sounds encouraging. You've already proven to me that none of that actually matters. 

[Cherylyn]

14 minutes ago, Fakewingz said:

At least you are honest, which is less than I can say about a lot of people in advice circles. 

But the stuff about the attitude, hobbies, interests etc. That was where you let yourself down. You don't need to say all that on my account. You're saying what you think I want to hear or what you think sounds encouraging. You've already proven to me that none of that actually matters. 

Actually it does matter.  It's easy to lack self confidence and have low self esteem.  I know I do at times.  You can either wallow in your misery or make the best of any situation.  This is the difference.  You need to change your attitude as opposed to focusing on only negativity about yourself.  Make changes.  Take baby steps.  Instead of fretting about what other people think,  focus on making your life better in any way by steering yourself towards a positive direction. 

[Fakewingz]

3 minutes ago, Cherylyn said:

Actually it does matter.  It's easy to lack self confidence and have low self esteem.  I know I do at times.  You can either wallow in your misery or make the best of any situation.  This is the difference.  You need to change your attitude as opposed to focusing on only negativity about yourself.  Make changes.  Take baby steps.  Instead of fretting about what other people think,  focus on making your life better in any way by steering yourself towards a positive direction. 

You went for a partner who was over six foot, goodlooking, and financially secure. That's a woman's dream. Congratulations! 

You don't need to say anything else. That speaks volumes. Don't preach to me about positivity and all that mumbo jumbo when you've shown what women prioritise.

This thread was my last cry for help, and you've reaffirmed what I always suspected. There is no reason for me to prolong my suffering any longer in a world where I clearly don't belong. 

[Cherylyn]

Just now, Fakewingz said:

You went for a partner who was over six foot, good looking, and financially secure. That's a woman's dream. Congratulations! 

You don't need to say anything else. That speaks volumes. Don't preach to me about positivity and all that mumbo jumbo when you've shown what women prioritize.

This thread was my last cry for help, and you've reaffirmed what I always suspected. There is no reason for me to prolong my suffering any longer in a world where I clearly don't belong. 

Seek professional help. 

I would've opted for a man who possessed stellar character,  an attractive poised personality and preferably not given me a lifetime of financial hardship and struggle.  I say this because I grew up in a home where it was a "hand to mouth existence" which was extremely stressful in my parents' marriage and took a heavy toll on our family life.  Why would I want to repeat that nightmare?  🤨

You need to make an appointment with a psychologist,  not a public forum.  If you want the best advice,  professionals will give you what you're looking for. 

 

[Fakewingz]

1 minute ago, Cherylyn said:

Seek professional help. 

I would've opted for a man who possessed stellar character,  an attractive poised personality and preferably not given me a lifetime of financial hardship and struggle.  I say this because I grew up in a home where it was a "hand to mouth existence" which was extremely stressful in my parents' marriage and took a heavy toll on our family life.  Why would I want to repeat that nightmare?  🤨

You need to make an appointment with a psychologist,  not a public forum.  If you want the best advice,  professionals will give you what you're looking for. 

 

As I said, you're living the dream. I don't blame you at all. 

But you can't admit to that and then try to offer advice to someone like me who has none of those qualities and never will do. It's not fair or healthy to do so. 

Also, a therapist can't change anything. Unless they're going to magic me up a new body, it's a waste of time and money. 

[Cherylyn]

Just now, Fakewingz said:

As I said, you're living the dream. I don't blame you at all. 

But you can't admit to that and then try to offer advice to someone like me who has none of those qualities and never will do. It's not fair or healthy to do so. 

Also, a therapist can't change anything. Unless they're going to magic me up a new body, it's a waste of time and money. 

It's not a waste of money.  Professional help is well versed,  well studied and they know how to give you the best advice.  You're wasting your time here.  This we can agree on.  👍

Even though living the dream is a lot to be grateful for,  everyone has troubles even if you don't know everything about them.  Whenever you see people walking around in public during errands,  you don't know their story,  their pain whether mental or physical or the hurtful baggage and burdens they carry.

Yes,  a therapist or psychologist will help you see the light.  You're blind right now but someday you'll see. 

[Fakewingz]

5 minutes ago, Cherylyn said:

It's not a waste of money.  Professional help is well versed,  well studied and they know how to give you the best advice.  You're wasting your time here.  This we can agree on.  👍

Even though living the dream is a lot to be grateful for,  everyone has troubles even if you don't know everything about them.  Whenever you see people walking around in public during errands,  you don't know their story,  their pain whether mental or physical or the hurtful baggage and burdens they carry.

Yes,  a therapist or psychologist will help you see the light.  You're blind right now but someday you'll see. 

There is nothing at all a therapist can tell me that I am not capable of formulating of my own accord. I can see through all of their tricks. 

[Batya33]

20 minutes ago, Fakewingz said:

You went for a partner who was over six foot, goodlooking, and financially secure. That's a woman's dream. Congratulations! 

You don't need to say anything else. That speaks volumes. Don't preach to me about positivity and all that mumbo jumbo when you've shown what women prioritise.

This thread was my last cry for help, and you've reaffirmed what I always suspected. There is no reason for me to prolong my suffering any longer in a world where I clearly don't belong. 

That wasn’t my dream. I wanted reality and I looked for what I offered. I was intelligent ,educated , successful, financially independent, and attractive. So I felt comfortable wanting that in return. No arrogance but reasonably confident good posture and presence and a person of character and integrity and compatible religious and spiritual values. I got it. After many years.
 

Because I wanted marriage and opportunity for a biological or adopted child. I didn’t settle. He didn’t settle. Chemistry and passion and love obviously essential.

Today we had to have a tough conversation about parenting. It didn’t matter what height he was or whether I was wearing makeup. What mattered was I was very upset but since we love each other and know each other so well I’d already given him the benefit of the doubt and knew our son’s version and perspective on a conversation likely wasn’t totally accurate. I was right. No matter how cute he is it wouldn’t have mattered in how I approached this tough discussion. Because what mattered was I trust him to be a person of compassion and character and integrity and to be a team with me. So instead of accusing him of having said X I was able to say “I’m sure he thought you said X but seems to me it was more like Y.”

 I was right because I know him. That’s what it comes down to because if he’d said X I might still think he’s cute and desirable but some amount of trust would have been called into question at least. Our looks have somewhat faded. We’re late 50s.  Can’t count on that to sustain a spark and connection but once again I counted on him having a perfectly good explanation as to this parenting situation. 

[Fakewingz]

3 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

That wasn’t my dream. I wanted reality and I looked for what I offered. I was intelligent ,educated , successful, financially independent, and attractive. So I felt comfortable wanting that in return. No arrogance but reasonably confident good posture and presence and a person of character and integrity and compatible religious and spiritual values. I got it. After many years.
 

Because I wanted marriage and opportunity for a biological or adopted child. I didn’t settle. He didn’t settle. Chemistry and passion and love obviously essential.

Today we had to have a tough conversation about parenting. It didn’t matter what height he was or whether I was wearing makeup. What mattered was I was very upset but since we love each other and know each other so well I’d already given him the benefit of the doubt and knew our son’s version and perspective on a conversation likely wasn’t totally accurate. I was right. No matter how cute he is it wouldn’t have mattered in how I approached this tough discussion. Because what mattered was I trust him to be a person of compassion and character and integrity and to be a team with me. So instead of accusing him of having said X I was able to say “I’m sure he thought you said X but seems to me it was more like Y.”

 I was right because I know him. That’s what it comes down to because if he’d said X I might still think he’s cute and desirable but some amount of trust would have been called into question at least. Our looks have somewhat faded. We’re late 50s.  Can’t count on that to sustain a spark and connection but once again I counted on him having a perfectly good explanation as to this parenting situation. 

You're a different generation. 

[Batya33]

10 minutes ago, Fakewingz said:

There is nothing at all a therapist can tell me that I am not capable of formulating of my own accord. I can see through all of their tricks. 

So you are here to vent and build strawmen/twist peoples words to be “right?” Would you rather be right in your own rigid stereotypical cliche world of negative generalizations or be close -.risk getting  out there and being vulnerable with the goal of being close - close to individuals not silly old cliches. 
I wasn’t disabled but believe me once I was in my 30s men who wanted marriage and family saw my ticking clock as a disability. Cause it kind of was. We all mostly have limits in who are good matches for us in romantic relationships. Some have it easy and some not I didn’t. Cause news flash life isn’t fair. And no guarantees 

[Seraphim]

You’re not short. You’re in the top 5% of the male population of the world in height. 

[Starlight925]

Anything under 6’6’ is a dealbreaker for most women. 
 

Sorry, just the facts. 
 

😂😂😂

[Fakewingz]

3 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

You’re not short. You’re in the top 5% of the male population of the world in height. 

Most men I walk past are pretty much the same height as me. Being six foot is nothing. You need to be at least 6'3 to register on a woman's radar. 

[Seraphim]

My husband at his tallest was 5’9.5” Now he is probably 5’9” or a little less. 🤷🏻‍♀️He is average male height . 

[Seraphim]

[Fakewingz]

Just now, Seraphim said:

I don't see your point? The average doesn't matter. Women want men in the top tier of height, which is 6'3 to 6'5. 

[Seraphim]

2 minutes ago, Fakewingz said:

I don't see your point? The average doesn't matter. Women want men in the top tier of height, which is 6'3 to 6'5. 

So how do all these men like my husband get married ??? My dad was 5’8”, my step dad was 5’7” . My brother was married and he is 6 feet. You’re making no sense. So the North American population is about 400 M and half is female so 200 M women are waiting to marry the 20 M over 6 feet. Nope don’t buy it . 

[Fakewingz]

11 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

So how do all these men like my husband get married ??? My dad was 5’8”, my step dad was 5’7” . My brother was married and he is 6 feet. You’re making no sense. So the North American population is about 400 M and half is female so 200 M women are waiting to marry the 20 M over 6 feet. Nope don’t buy it . 

Just because some women choose to settle for men below 6'3 doesn't mean that isn't what women are attracted to. It's becoming increasingly difficult to attract women if you're under 6'3. Men like me are completely invisible.