Simple date question

[cooldude123]

Just finished up a date and at the end, I said drive home safe and she said let her know when I get home. I wanted to say "let me know if you get home safe too" but for some reason it just didn't come out of my mouth.

Anyway, I said "Hey just got home! I had a nice time, you are cute and sweet. Did you get home alright?

And she said "I did, thank you for checking! Thank you so much for dinner!"

So she didn't say she had a nice time and didn't reciprocate my compliments. I can find out if she's someone that even likes compliments. Basically I want to know if you think she likes me based off this interaction. Personally it didn't really seemed like she did. We also didn't have a crazy spark. Anyway I'm too tired to keep writing more so I'm going to bed yall and will check back in the morning.

[SophiaG]

You can't tell from this simple interaction. However, I'd say it's not a bad thing that she asked you to tell her when you got home safe - either she's a really nice person or at least didn't mind further communication  via texts with you.

Instead of trying to read tea leaves just continue talking to her tomorrow and ask her out again if you want.

[shouldhavelearned]

She complimented you.

Don't expect a similar text back, variety is good.

Give her a call tomorrow to see how her day went. Nothing serious, just check in and see where it goes.

[ShySoul]

If you try to evaluate every conversation in this way, looking for subtext and picking out hidden meaning or intent, you are going to drive yourself crazy.

You did the right thing in checking in with her. She replied and complimented you. It was a nice exchange, leave it as that.

Call her tomorrow and talk. See if you can meet up again. Just take it as it goes and enjoys what happens. Be in the moment instead of trying to analyze everything.

[Kwothe28]

1 hour ago, cooldude123 said:

Basically I want to know if you think she likes me based off this interaction.

Based of something every woman in the universe writes after the date? They all write how they get home alright and had a nice date. In reality, it doesnt mean nothing. Not even that they had a nice date. Its just something to write after the date. 

Yes, I would be wary if she didnt flirt back at you during date. But other than that, this interaction means very little. Its just standard stuff people say after date. Everyone of my dates had the nice time if you want to believe what they message after the date. In the reality, not everyone of them did since there was no second date in lots of those cases.

[The Shark101]

3 hours ago, cooldude123 said:

Just finished up a date and at the end, I said drive home safe and she said let her know when I get home. I wanted to say "let me know if you get home safe too" but for some reason it just didn't come out of my mouth.

Anyway, I said "Hey just got home! I had a nice time, you are cute and sweet. Did you get home alright?

And she said "I did, thank you for checking! Thank you so much for dinner!"

So she didn't say she had a nice time and didn't reciprocate my compliments. I can find out if she's someone that even likes compliments. Basically I want to know if you think she likes me based off this interaction. Personally it didn't really seemed like she did. We also didn't have a crazy spark. Anyway I'm too tired to keep writing more so I'm going to bed yall and will check back in the morning.

Stop with this mind ma$trtbation, Just ask her out again and you'll have your answer. 

[cooldude123]

She later texted me and said she didn't feel chemistry and we're not compatible. Nothing I did wrong or anything like that, just wasn't her cup of tea. I run into this problem a lot.

[Batya33]

4 minutes ago, cooldude123 said:

She later texted me and said she didn't feel chemistry and we're not compatible. Nothing I did wrong or anything like that, just wasn't her cup of tea. I run into this problem a lot.

It's a good thing not a problem -this way you move on and don't waste time.

[Coily]

25 minutes ago, cooldude123 said:

She later texted me and said she didn't feel chemistry and we're not compatible. Nothing I did wrong or anything like that, just wasn't her cup of tea. I run into this problem a lot.

Means you don't need to waste a lot of time with a relationship tire kicker.

[Cherylyn]

Chalk it up as a date that didn't work out.  Onto the next. 

Not everyone is a match.  I've been on dates and it took several dates before I found my husband to be "the one." 

[Kwothe28]

11 minutes ago, cooldude123 said:

She later texted me and said she didn't feel chemistry and we're not compatible. Nothing I did wrong or anything like that, just wasn't her cup of tea. I run into this problem a lot.

Sorry to hear that. It can be discouraging yes. However look at it from brighter side: 

Did you had a nice date with a cute and sweet woman? 

If yes, that is a win. Always take more positive side. You will be disappointed less. Plus, you get dates so to some other woman you will maybe be favorite cup of tea.

[yogacat]

You put yourself out there and that's great. I think you are doing all of the right things.  

I mean, you were respectful, you let her know you got home, you told her you had a nice time and that you think she's cute and sweet. It's a bummer that she didn't reciprocate, but that's ok. Everyone has different levels of comfort with showing emotion or giving compliments. And sometimes, there just isn't a spark. It's not anyone's fault, it's just the way the cookie crumbles.

It still stings for sure.

[rainbowsandroses]

1 hour ago, cooldude123 said:

She later texted me and said she didn't feel chemistry and we're not compatible. Nothing I did wrong or anything like that, just wasn't her cup of tea. I run into this problem a lot.

^^Did YOU feel "chemistry" with her?

Genuine chemistry between two people tends to be mutual (my experience) so ask yourself what were your reasons for wanting to pursue this? 

Was she hot?  Are you so lonely you'll settle for a subpar connection?

You said yourself in your initial post YOU didn't feel a "spark" either, so what's the problem?

Serious question. 

[The Shark101]

2 hours ago, cooldude123 said:
Nothing I did wrong or anything like that, just wasn't her cup of tea. I run into this problem a lot.

Maybe, we don't know if you didn't do anything wrong as you didn't provide enough information about your overall connection with her. 
If you say it's happening to you A LOT, you're the common denominator here and need to ask yourself what you're doing wrong;  When YOU'RE the one who does most of the rejections because YOU'RE not feeling it and not vice versa, then you know you're doing it right., but if you're the one who constantly rejected, then you need to ask yourself 'Why?" Because something you're doing is wrong.

I can tell you I never let the woman know if I got home safe, I'm a grown man, and it sounds lame. I get home after a date the same way I getting home all my life when going places, so why after date it's a different,?  and if that is the overall vibe you have, it's weak. 

[rainbowsandroses]

IMO the common denominator is that there is no chemistry for either the OP or any of the women he dates.

The woman senses it (and says so), yet the man continues to want to pursue for some unknown reason that even HE can't answer.  I see and read about this A LOT! 

When there is genuine chemistry happening between two people, it's virtually impossible for either to do anything 'wrong."  My experience.

I mean, a man could do cartwheels in the middle of Fifth Avenue in NYC and make an utter jack *** of himself, and the woman would still be attracted!! 

It's actually very rare when there is genuine chemistry, yet people will continue to pursue because she/he is hot, they're lonely or bored, free meal, to have a date, ego, etc and then wonder why the other person isn't into it. Sigh.

No chemistry, no spark, no that certain somethin somethin, just move on and stop stressing about it.

JMO. 😀

 

[cooldude123]

2 hours ago, Kwothe28 said:

Sorry to hear that. It can be discouraging yes. However look at it from brighter side: 

Did you had a nice date with a cute and sweet woman? 

If yes, that is a win. Always take more positive side. You will be disappointed less. Plus, you get dates so to some other woman you will maybe be favorite cup of tea.

That is a good way to look at it

[cooldude123]

2 hours ago, yogacat said:

You put yourself out there and that's great. I think you are doing all of the right things.  

I mean, you were respectful, you let her know you got home, you told her you had a nice time and that you think she's cute and sweet. It's a bummer that she didn't reciprocate, but that's ok. Everyone has different levels of comfort with showing emotion or giving compliments. And sometimes, there just isn't a spark. It's not anyone's fault, it's just the way the cookie crumbles.

It still stings for sure.

Thank you friend 🙂

[The Shark101]

16 minutes ago, rainbowsandroses said:
It's actually very rare when there is genuine chemistry,

No it's not rare.
And you missing the point.
If Op is constantly rejected by women and does not attract women who want to be with him ( obviously not all women), regardless if there is an attraction on his side, then something he is doing is wrong.
Sugar-coating it for Op won't solve his problem.

[cooldude123]

2 hours ago, rainbowsandroses said:

^^Did YOU feel "chemistry" with her?

Genuine chemistry between two people tends to be mutual (my experience) so ask yourself what were your reasons for wanting to pursue this? 

Was she hot?  Are you so lonely you'll settle for a subpar connection?

You said yourself in your initial post YOU didn't feel a "spark" either, so what's the problem?

Serious question. 

To be honest, no, I didn't really feel chemistry with her. I just thought she was cute and sweet so I figured I would give it another date or two to really figure out if something is there.

And yea, in that moment I was willing to settle for a subpar connection to be honest with you. She actually reached out to me after like two weeks of not talking. We both had car accidents recently, mine was a lot worse than hers though so I figured we were both just dealing with our own stuff. I was going to take a break from dating and then she reappeared in my life so I wanted to go for it.

[cooldude123]

35 minutes ago, The Shark101 said:

2 hours ago, cooldude123 said:
Nothing I did wrong or anything like that, just wasn't her cup of tea. I run into this problem a lot.

Maybe, we don't know if you didn't do anything wrong as you didn't provide enough information about your overall connection with her. 
If you say it's happening to you A LOT, you're the common denominator here and need to ask yourself what you're doing wrong;  When YOU'RE the one who does most of the rejections because YOU'RE not feeling it and not vice versa, then you know you're doing it right., but if you're the one who constantly rejected, then you need to ask yourself 'Why?" Because something you're doing is wrong.

I can tell you I never let the woman know if I got home safe, I'm a grown man, and it sounds lame. I get home after a date the same way I getting home all my life when going places, so why after date it's a different,?  and if that is the overall vibe you have, it's weak. 

I sometimes am the one who decides there is no chemistry and ends things. I'm in therapy so I can ask my therapist what she thinks I'm doing wrong. Personally I just think I'm not flirty enough, I don't really know how to flirt aside from giving compliments or saying sweet things.

I disagree that letting her know I got home sounds lame and weak. I think it's a sweet gesture. And like I said, she asked me to tell her when I got home. For some reason, women get home and their opinion changes of me. They like me while on the date, then they get home and can think about things and are like "hmm I don't actually like this guy." After she ended things with me, I did ask her what she didn't like and she couldn't name anything specifically and just said she didn't feel chemistry.

[rainbowsandroses]

7 minutes ago, The Shark101 said:

16 minutes ago, rainbowsandroses said:
It's actually very rare when there is genuine chemistry,

No it's not rare.
And you missing the point.
If Op is constantly rejected by women and does not attract women who want to be with him ( obviously not all women), regardless if there is an attraction on his side, then something he is doing is wrong.
Sugar-coating it for Op won't solve his problem.

I'm not "sugar coating" anything, not my style.  I was giving my opinion based on my own experiences and observations of people and the world around me.

You have provided your opinion which I disagree with. 

Leaving it there. 

[cooldude123]

23 minutes ago, rainbowsandroses said:

IMO the common denominator is that there is no chemistry for either the OP or any of the women he dates.

The woman senses it (and says so), yet the man continues to want to pursue for some unknown reason that even HE can't answer.  I see and read about this A LOT! 

When there is genuine chemistry happening between two people, it's virtually impossible for either to do anything 'wrong."  My experience.

I mean, a man could do cartwheels in the middle of Fifth Avenue in NYC and make an utter jack *** of himself, and the woman would still be attracted!! 

It's actually very rare when there is genuine chemistry, yet people will continue to pursue because she/he is hot, they're lonely or bored, free meal, to have a date, ego, etc and then wonder why the other person isn't into it. Sigh.

No chemistry, no spark, no that certain somethin somethin, just move on and stop stressing about it.

JMO. 😀

 

Yea I agree. You can't do anything wrong with the right person. I thought maybe there would be chemistry on a second or third date. In other words something to build up. I thought she was cute and sweet so that's why I wanted to give her another chance.

[rainbowsandroses]

4 minutes ago, cooldude123 said:

Yea I agree. You can't do anything wrong with the right person. I thought maybe there would be chemistry on a second or third date. In other words something to build up. I thought she was cute and sweet so that's why I wanted to give her another chance.

That's fine.  Just don't be confused or hurt or whatever when she or any woman recognizes there's no chemistry and doesn't wish to pursue. 

That's all.  

Move forward and carry on! 

[The Shark101]

9 minutes ago, cooldude123 said:

Personally I just think I'm not flirty enough, I don't really know how to flirt aside from giving compliments or saying sweet things.

 

And that is your problem.^^^

You're the man here so behave like one, Start Flirt and stop being too nice and saying sweet things. That's NOT attractive , and saying sweet things and compliments is not what attract women.( Regardless of what women say) 

 

 

[rainbowsandroses]

@cooldude123if you want to improve yourself, I encourage that!

I myself am always learning, growing, improving!  And I've learned a hell of a lot doing so!

I do it for ME, not to attract men.  

Which is what I suggest for you, learn, grow, evolve for YOU!  

Stop stressing about attracting women.  Find your purpose, focus on that.

Lean back, when it's right you'll both feel it.  

Again my opinion.