How do you know when you like someone?

[AuthenticSelf]

I had a conversation with someone I thought I like. It really turns out that something is holding me back. Maybe I don't like them. To be honest, they are smart and beautiful so it should be pretty normal for someone to like them. 

So, I am not sure what it should feel like when liking someone. 

In your experience, what does it feel like when you like someone? 

 

[lostandhurt]

Do you think of them often?  Do you imagine spending time with them?  Do you worry that they may not like you back?

In a nutshell the more you like them usually the more you fret over if they like you back.

The best way to know is to spend time with them on a date if this is a romantic situation.  Are you thinking of asking for a date?

Lost

[ShySoul]

For me I know when I can't stop thinking about them and can't wait to see or talk to them again. I find my mind going back to them even when I'm in the middle of something else. I get a happy feeling just being around them or thinking of being around them. I replay their words and smile.

When we are talking things tend to flow easier then usual (a big deal for a shy introvert). And I see something in their personality that intrigues and impresses me. It makes me realize this is a special person, somehow different then all the other people I know. Then it hits me from nowhere and I have to step back and admit to myself my feelings have crossed over into romantic interest.

Honestly though, it varies from person to person. So your experience will vary. You aren't supposed to feel anything. You feel what you feel. If you like someone, you'll feel it and know as long as you don't try to overthink it.

Guessing what's holding you back is fear - the constant enemy of romance. Liking someone comes with expectations and uncertainty. There is risks. So we weigh if the benefits are worth the potential risks. And for some, it is easy to hold back or let fear get the better of us.

That's hurt me in the past. Don't let it hurt you. If you think there might be feelings or a chance at something more, be honest with yourself about it and just go with how you feel. Take the chance. 

[Kwothe28]

20 minutes ago, AuthenticSelf said:

In your experience, what does it feel like when you like someone? 

 

You just "feel it" or dont.

Its not really a rocket science. "A crush" you can feel it very easily. You just like somebody beyond everything and would do anything to be with them. "Liking" is a bit different but you can always feel that you are attracted to a person. And that you actually want to be with them. 

For example, in your case, I dont think you like her. Its not the matter of her being beautiful and smart, but that you just dont want to be with her from some reason. Probably because you dont really like her. Sorry.

[shouldhavelearned]

When you want to be around them, talk to them, touch them...

Know what they've been doing.

How their day went?

Simple stuff that grows.

[SophiaG]

44 minutes ago, AuthenticSelf said:

they are smart and beautiful so it should be pretty normal for someone to like them.

Being objectively attractive doesn't mean everyone has to like them.

Perhaps you like them as a person, or as a friend but not romantically. The litmus test for me is if I can imagine kissing/being intimate with them.

It's also totally possible to like someone initially but then turned off by something they say or do. Don't overthink it! If you like them, your body and mind will remind you over and over again. 😄

[yogacat]

When I normally think of something about them that is so unusual but at the same time so intriguing. At first glance, I'm like, "super weird" at second glance, I'm like "I kinda like it...🤪" 

[ShySoul]

24 minutes ago, yogacat said:

When I normally think of something about them that is so unusual but at the same time so intriguing. At first glance, I'm like, "super weird" at second glance, I'm like "I kinda like it...🤪" 

So there are women who like weird and quirky. I've still got a chance at finding someone then. 🤪

[Batya33]

1 hour ago, AuthenticSelf said:

I had a conversation with someone I thought I like. It really turns out that something is holding me back. Maybe I don't like them. To be honest, they are smart and beautiful so it should be pretty normal for someone to like them. 

So, I am not sure what it should feel like when liking someone. 

In your experience, what does it feel like when you like someone? 

 

For me it felt like a desire to date the person and be close to the person and get to know the person better.  I felt the spark and chemistry. I knew many many smart and handsome men I felt nothing for that way.  I still do. I married a smart and handsome man.  I dated men who were objectively better looking (although none smarter as he is brilliant) and I chose him as he was my person.  And still is.

[Cherylyn]

I can't speak for others but for me personally,  my husband ticked all the boxes.  We were in our early 20's at the time.  What caught my eye was he was well liked by many,  very well mannered,  very respected and witty.  He's quite popular wherever he goes.  He has composure.  Everyone likes him a lot.  He wasn't goofy.  He was (and still is) poised and possesses aplomb.  Nothing is more attractive than self confidence without cockiness,  of course.  He was going places in life,  very independent,  on the fast track and I wanted to be right there along with him every step of the way. 

I could envision a bright future with him and a very happy life.  I wanted him.  I wanted him to be my husband for life.   I used my intuition. 

In many ways,  he's reminiscent of his father ~ very responsible type,  reliable,  a handyman for the household (for the house and cars),  self reliant and everything ever I wanted in a man.  He's not only brilliant but he also has emotional intelligence.  He's empathetic and a very selfless man.  He has noble bearing and a gentleman to the truest sense of the word.  He is sublime. 💗 He's the needle in a haystack and I knew I could not do better.  I wasn't about to let him go and snatched him up right away.  I did not waste any time.  He was spoken for early. 

We have two sons and reside in a very stable,  comfortable suburban neighborhood complete with my rose garden in my affluent community. 🌹 It is the life I had always wanted and he delivered and then some. 

He hails from a nurturing,  normal family life with great parents and two siblings.  His parents set the bar quite high.  Relatives and in-laws are local. 

It's everything.  It's the package deal.  👍

[Tinydance]

So what's the situation you're referring to? Is this someone you went on a date with or you think you should ask out this person? How do you know you like someone....Well to be honest, your just KNOW. Like, it's a gut feeling. You feel it strongly and you don't usually have a doubt that you feel it.

You get excited to see that person and you really get the butterflies when you see them. You feel nervous to see them and talk to them. And you might worry about what they think of you, how you look to them, did you say the right thing. Whereas if you're not into someone then you just talk normally and you don't think twice about it.

Also yes, you do think about them a lot and they keep popping up in your mind randomly. Like: "Oh I remember when X said this." Or: "X said they like this band." You keep referring everything to them and you keep talking about them.

You also think that everything they say and do is cute and that THEY are cute. Like even if they conventionally aren't but you just find everything about them cute.

On the flip side of that, there are people who you admit are stereotypically attractive and they're nice. But you just don't "feel it". They seem like someone you SHOULD like, but you don't.

[Batya33]

12 hours ago, Tinydance said:

So what's the situation you're referring to? Is this someone you went on a date with or you think you should ask out this person? How do you know you like someone....Well to be honest, your just KNOW. Like, it's a gut feeling. You feel it strongly and you don't usually have a doubt that you feel it.

You get excited to see that person and you really get the butterflies when you see them. You feel nervous to see them and talk to them. And you might worry about what they think of you, how you look to them, did you say the right thing. Whereas if you're not into someone then you just talk normally and you don't think twice about it.

Also yes, you do think about them a lot and they keep popping up in your mind randomly. Like: "Oh I remember when X said this." Or: "X said they like this band." You keep referring everything to them and you keep talking about them.

You also think that everything they say and do is cute and that THEY are cute. Like even if they conventionally aren't but you just find everything about them cute.

On the flip side of that, there are people who you admit are stereotypically attractive and they're nice. But you just don't "feel it". They seem like someone you SHOULD like, but you don't.

I also knew when there was a potential for a spark so if I was on the fence I went on up to 4 dates and if by that time I didn't desire to kiss or enjoy kissing him I moved on.

[Cherylyn]

I knew I was attracted to my husband because I compared him to other men whether colleagues,  previous dud dates,  relatives,  neighbors from my childhood,  so many men in society whom I've crossed paths with and from shopping around. 

I felt rather disgusted from bad experiences with men whom I've observed and at one time,  I honestly felt this was all there was in the world.  😒  Is this as good as it gets?  Are they all subpar at best?  Or worse?  I've always hoped for the jewel in the crown.  I wasn't about to settle for second best or a "two faced man" as my mother was quoted as saying.  I wanted the best and I found him in my husband.  💗

There's always a standout man who separates himself from the pack or crowd which is the gem,  the needle in a haystack. 

At the dinner table at home,  I've often told my husband of so many disgusting,  obnoxiously negative experiences due to my observations of so many men.  I've explained everything to him in detail. 

My husband is who he is because his father led by example regarding how to be a man,  respect everyone,  respect women in particular,  be a devoted husband,   a devoted father to our sons,  noble,  honorable,  a very moral man,  responsible and strong. 

It may sound 'very vanilla' but a stable,  comfortably settled life in the suburbs is a tranquil life.  🙂 👍

I pay attention to character and personality.  My husband is pleasant to be with.  He's very intelligent,  emotionally intelligent (empathetic),  a great listener,  perceptive,  humble,  modest,  soft spoken,  kind yet when called for,  can be quite tough and doesn't suffer fools gladly. 

Of course,  not all men are bad.  I'm just merely sharing what I know from life's experiences ever since I was growing up as a child. 

A great person is hard to find and after observing so many men,  I knew a winner when I saw one.  It's like hitting the jackpot or winning the lottery.