Catlady15 Posted September 14 Share Posted September 14 I have been sleeping with my male friend for a while now but he doesn’t want a relationship (we are both divorced) we had sex recently but that’s all it is and I feel like we can’t continue if it’s just about sex but at the same time I like the way I feel when I’m with him and I really enjoy the sex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrina Posted September 14 Share Posted September 14 You can instead enjoy sex and enjoy the company of a man who has the exact same dating/relationship goals as you. To achieve that goal, that means going your separate ways with the friend, because you've crossed a boundary with him. The man who becomes your future bf will most likely walk away from you when he finds out you continue to communicate with a "friend" you had a FWB thing with. I know I wouldn't date a guy who told me he stayed in contact with a friend he boinked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shouldhavelearned Posted September 14 Share Posted September 14 By posting here you know you can't handle it While the sex is good, it's not what you need. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SophiaG Posted September 14 Share Posted September 14 Should you continue? I feel that's ultimately a question only you yourself can answer. Nothing wrong with enjoying the sex and companion without wanting more. But like @Andrina said if you are looking to date and find a relationship keeping an FWB isn't the best idea. Eventually if the cons exceed the pros you'll cut him off. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cherylyn Posted September 14 Share Posted September 14 You can continue as long as you accept that sex is all there is without a relationship. It's your decision. Take it or leave it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShySoul Posted September 14 Share Posted September 14 If you have doubts or are questioning it, probably means you shouldn't be doing it. Sex feels good in the moment. It feels nice to have someone there, both physically and emotionally. But if it's just sex to have sex, it loses it's shine afterwards. It becomes something to do, an itch to scratch. And that makes it harder to get invested in, to really feel how special it should be. It loses the emotional connection that makes it really magical. When it's the right time, with the right person, you won't be wondering if you should do it. You won't hesitate or doubt. You will both be able to fully invest every part of you into it. You'll just know. Follow your heart and ask yourself what it is you are really looking for. What will make you happiest? That will give you your answer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shouldhavelearned Posted September 14 Share Posted September 14 Where are these women? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShySoul Posted September 14 Share Posted September 14 18 minutes ago, shouldhavelearned said: Where are these women? You'd be surprised. People get lonely and sometimes a good friend who has been there for them can lead to more. Sometimes you miss or need someone's touch and it can be easy to seek comfort or solace in someone's arms. Problem is it rarely turns out well if the focus is on the sex part. Someone develops feels that aren't returned, the sex doesn't feel right, etc. If the focus is building a relationship first, it can often lead to really amazing relationships. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yogacat Posted September 15 Share Posted September 15 Well, it is just about sex, for him at least. If you can enjoy it and keep your feelings separate, then go ahead. Doesn't sound like it though, which is understandable. He has been clear what he wants from your arrangement. If you want more, you need to look elsewhere I'm afraid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shouldhavelearned Posted September 15 Share Posted September 15 3 hours ago, ShySoul said: You'd be surprised. People get lonely and sometimes a good friend who has been there for them can lead to more. Sometimes you miss or need someone's touch and it can be easy to seek comfort or solace in someone's arms. Problem is it rarely turns out well if the focus is on the sex part. Someone develops feels that aren't returned, the sex doesn't feel right, etc. If the focus is building a relationship first, it can often lead to really amazing relationships. You have a point. Might be my introverted side. Hard to find some to just chat and hang. No sex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShySoul Posted September 15 Share Posted September 15 13 minutes ago, shouldhavelearned said: You have a point. Might be my introverted side. Hard to find some to just chat and hang. No sex. Extreme introvert here, I know the feeling. Almost impossible to have someone I'm comfortable enough with just to hit friend level. Sex? What's that? 🤨 I also wonder how so many find themselves in these situations. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shouldhavelearned Posted September 15 Share Posted September 15 Yes, that's one of the things that I find so alarming on here. Trouble that people make for themselves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissCanuck Posted September 15 Share Posted September 15 Can you separate your emotions from sex? If not, then don't proceed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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