My (27F) boyfriend (31M) refuses to sign a prenup?

[SophiaG]

16 minutes ago, Kwothe28 said:

Doctor with good specialization sure. But at 27? Eh, I highly doubt it.

Seems like my sarcasm was too subtle! 😅

1 hour ago, SophiaG said:

1 hour ago, Seraphim said:

The point people are making is that she does research not medical practice so the pay may be different. 

Oh, I was being sarcastic with that comment meaning even for a talented young doctor who managed to finish med school, residency, etc. by 27 it'd still be unlikely to immediately start earning the doctor average which probably requires at least a bit more experience.

And I would agree prenups are a new trend that's becoming increasingly popular and might be the norm in near future. People who go to the same schools or come from similar backgrounds can have quite different earning growth/potential due to different careers etc. In an ideal world they should be able to negotiate the matters in a fair and civic matter in case of a divorce but many do get vindictive and selfish in those situations...

[SophiaG]

Did I misread? I thought the OP had been with her bf for a year. That might still be too soon for some but I think it's long enough to start discussing the future. 

[Tinydance]

50 minutes ago, SophiaG said:

Did I misread? I thought the OP had been with her bf for a year. That might still be too soon for some but I think it's long enough to start discussing the future. 

Yes I actually saw her say they were together for a year in the first sentence of the post. I do think if this guy made too many comments about her money and asked how much is in the bank account, yes that's suspicious. I also don't think someone should get married if they don't want to. I don't think anyone should force themselves if that's not for them. 

To address the other things though...In general I don't think it's weird to get engaged after one year. I got engaged after one year to my ex. I also don't necessarily think that every person who is dating someone with higher salary and more assets than them ONLY wants them for their assets. Maybe 100 years ago for example women would get pushed by their parents to marry a well off guy. Nowadays some people earn more, some less. In many couples one earns a lot more and sometimes it's a woman. I don't think in Australia many people get a prenup and I haven't met anybody who got one. But I don't mingle in rich circles, though I do know some people who earn a lot.

I got the impression that in relationships where the man is well off, it's usually considered normal by society, as well as the man himself. People don't necessarily think of their wife as the gold digger. Unless it's blatantly obvious when the guy is extremely rich and he's old but the woman is a beautiful 20-year-old.

I don't know, maybe it's just me but I just find it a bit off putting that OP was saying she came from a lot of wealth to begin with. Of course she earnt her doctor's degree but I got the impression that everything else she was just given. And it just turns me off when someone really rich just automatically thinks: "This poor peasant person will only just want my money so I better make sure they don't get any." Rich people look down on others and it's like you're looking down on your partner. But that partner could be working full-time and also have a degree and are happy to support themselves. Just because someone isn't rich doesn't equal gold digger. Maybe in the case of this guy it actually does but I was just speaking in general.

[rainbowsandroses]

56 minutes ago, SophiaG said:

Did I misread? I thought the OP had been with her bf for a year.

No, you didn't misread Sophia, they've been dating a year but got together 3 months after his divorce last year...