How do I [23M] meet women as a person that has solitary hobbies?

[Ryn4]

I'm going to be very upfront and honest and say that I am a shy, socially awkward person. I am also mortified of rejection. I have only gone on a few dates in my life, and all except one of them were with the same girl. The majority of my hobbies are solitary: video games, guitar playing, shooting hoop...I do go to concerts, but I'm a huge metalhead, and the shows that I go to are sausage fests. If there are women there, they're with their boyfriend or their boyfriend is in the band. I also do lift weights occasionally, but I've heard hitting on woman at the gym is a bad idea. I was reading in this sub, and it sounds like going to events or classes for the purpose of trying to get to know a woman is not the way to go either. I guess they can sniff out if that's what your intent is? The only thing I can think of is going to a cooking class because I need to learn how to cook. Other than that, the only thing I can think of is trying to talk to someone at a coffee shop where I would go to read. I just legitimately feel hopeless about dating right now. I really want a significant other, but as it stands right now, I feel like I'm going to "die alone." Some help and guidance would be very much appreciated.

[ShySoul]

Shy, socially awkward male here who has been on zero dates (though I've had mutual interest with females and done things with them, just not the formal dating process) and prefers solitary activities as well. I also get bouts of hopelessness and wonder if I will die alone. So I get the struggle.

Honestly, best advice I can say is to not stress about finding someone. Don't do things to meet women, do things because you want to do it and have fun doing it. If you are using something as an excuse to get something else, that is what a woman will pick up on and dislike. But if you do something because you are genuinely interested in it, then that will come across as sincere. And sincere is attractive. It's also more likely to get you in touch with people who share the same interest which leads to a better chance at hitting it off with them. And if nothing comes off it, you won't care because you will just be having fun with whatever the activity is.

You do realize there are huge numbers of gamer girls out there, right? Or girls that like geeky things in general? My brother met his wife playing video games online. They have been together 23 years. You can meet someone anywhere, doing anything. Have you done online gaming with people? I wouldn't be going into it trying to meet someone or expecting it. But if that is an interest, you can meet people that way, even if it's just to make friends.

When I was a year younger then you I worried about the same thing. And the pressure I put on myself only made me feel worse. So I decied to not try. I did things I enjoyed, even if that meant staying in on a computer. Next thing I know a female messages me randomly in a chatroom. We talk each night and become friends. Meet in person. And suddenly a romance is blooming. A few months later I meet someone else on a forum and another romance blooms. When I stop trying and just starting living for me, I became happier in my own life and with myself. And that translated on screen and attracted to someone.

Meeting someone is a lot of random chance and circumstance. You can't control most of it. What you can control is you, being happy with yourself and doing things that bring you joy. The rest comes when the time is right.

[Ryn4]

15 minutes ago, ShySoul said:

Shy, socially awkward male here who has been on zero dates (though I've had mutual interest with females and done things with them, just not the formal dating process) and prefers solitary activities as well. I also get bouts of hopelessness and wonder if I will die alone. So I get the struggle.

Honestly, best advice I can say is to not stress about finding someone. Don't do things to meet women, do things because you want to do it and have fun doing it. If you are using something as an excuse to get something else, that is what a woman will pick up on and dislike. But if you do something because you are genuinely interested in it, then that will come across as sincere. And sincere is attractive. It's also more likely to get you in touch with people who share the same interest which leads to a better chance at hitting it off with them. And if nothing comes off it, you won't care because you will just be having fun with whatever the activity is.

You do realize there are huge numbers of gamer girls out there, right? Or girls that like geeky things in general? My brother met his wife playing video games online. They have been together 23 years. You can meet someone anywhere, doing anything. Have you done online gaming with people? I wouldn't be going into it trying to meet someone or expecting it. But if that is an interest, you can meet people that way, even if it's just to make friends.

When I was a year younger then you I worried about the same thing. And the pressure I put on myself only made me feel worse. So I decied to not try. I did things I enjoyed, even if that meant staying in on a computer. Next thing I know a female messages me randomly in a chatroom. We talk each night and become friends. Meet in person. And suddenly a romance is blooming. A few months later I meet someone else on a forum and another romance blooms. When I stop trying and just starting living for me, I became happier in my own life and with myself. And that translated on screen and attracted to someone.

Meeting someone is a lot of random chance and circumstance. You can't control most of it. What you can control is you, being happy with yourself and doing things that bring you joy. The rest comes when the time is right.

That's exactly the thing though is I don't really have any interest in doing things besides what I do now. I do play games online, but only with my friend group. Also, I hate to sound like an ***, but I feel like the majority of girls that game aren't super attractive, or at least most of the time they're not my type? I wouldn't say I'm hot, but I don't think I'm awful looking, though I do have body dysmorphia--wish I was a lot more muscular. I also wouldn't even know where I'd meet them, and they probably get guys hounding on them all the time anyway. I genuinely believe I'm just out of luck. I can't think of a way to meet anyone, and it makes me uber depressed.

[Tinydance]

Well I really doubt you'll die alone! Unless you die of some kind of unnatural causes. I mean, you're young and you probably still have like 50 - 60 years left to live. 

I agree that doing activities that you don't actually want to do and forcing yourself just to meet women isn't the way to go. After all it's important to have some things in common with your partner. So it has to be your real interests and not pretend lol

Do you live in a big town or city? I think that unless you live in a small or rural place, any interests you have should have classes and social groups related to them. Any activities can actually be done with other people but the issue is that you do them only by yourself. I'm not sure where you live but in my city there are actually some nerd/gamer night club nights and also bars and cafes. These places also have events that they put on like a trivia night, video games tournament, board games tournament, etc. I would recommend you start going to things like this if you have them where you live.

You said you like to shoot hoop. What about joining a mixed gender basketball team? If you like to play guitar, doing group music classes? You mentioned you play online video games with friends. Are they your real life friends or your know them online only? Do you have friends you can hang out with? I think the main thing to do is be around other people and socialise. If you have real life friends then invite them to go out to these places I mentioned. Then even if you don't meet any women, you can have fun with your friends.

Don't forget too that one big way to meet people is through other people. One of my ex's who I was with for two years I actually met through his mother. She was a mature age student in my university class. Also one of my other ex's was my best friend's room mate. What you need to do is get out of your house and start hanging out with people. Like, invite your friends out somewhere and say that they should bring their friends too. Even if the friends are guys but they might have female friends or a sister or something. You really just need to get out of your room and go places. There are women everywhere but they're just not at your house lol

[Ryn4]

37 minutes ago, Tinydance said:

Well I really doubt you'll die alone! Unless you die of some kind of unnatural causes. I mean, you're young and you probably still have like 50 - 60 years left to live. 

I agree that doing activities that you don't actually want to do and forcing yourself just to meet women isn't the way to go. After all it's important to have some things in common with your partner. So it has to be your real interests and not pretend lol

Do you live in a big town or city? I think that unless you live in a small or rural place, any interests you have should have classes and social groups related to them. Any activities can actually be done with other people but the issue is that you do them only by yourself. I'm not sure where you live but in my city there are actually some nerd/gamer night club nights and also bars and cafes. These places also have events that they put on like a trivia night, video games tournament, board games tournament, etc. I would recommend you start going to things like this if you have them where you live.

You said you like to shoot hoop. What about joining a mixed gender basketball team? If you like to play guitar, doing group music classes? You mentioned you play online video games with friends. Are they your real life friends or your know them online only? Do you have friends you can hang out with? I think the main thing to do is be around other people and socialise. If you have real life friends then invite them to go out to these places I mentioned. Then even if you don't meet any women, you can have fun with your friends.

Don't forget too that one big way to meet people is through other people. One of my ex's who I was with for two years I actually met through his mother. She was a mature age student in my university class. Also one of my other ex's was my best friend's room mate. What you need to do is get out of your house and start hanging out with people. Like, invite your friends out somewhere and say that they should bring their friends too. Even if the friends are guys but they might have female friends or a sister or something. You really just need to get out of your room and go places. There are women everywhere but they're just not at your house lol

I live in a town of about 115k--not tiny, but not as big as a metro area either. I've tried looking online for clubs, but there really isn't much in my area honestly. Problem with the game nights is that I feel pretty confident that they would be sausage fests too, and if there were any women there, I doubt they'd be my type. I feel like "gamer girls" that I would still find attractive are pretty seldom. When it comes to basketball and music, I'm not good enough for either. Yeah, I do both solo, but if I was part of a group I'm also almost positive that I'd be the weak link holding everyone else back. In terms of my friends, I do have a friend circle in real life, but honestly we just talk to each other for the most part and not really anyone else. Only one of my friends has other girl friends, but they're not interested in me, and I'm not interested in them.

[Tinydance]

35 minutes ago, Ryn4 said:

I live in a town of about 115k--not tiny, but not as big as a metro area either. I've tried looking online for clubs, but there really isn't much in my area honestly. Problem with the game nights is that I feel pretty confident that they would be sausage fests too, and if there were any women there, I doubt they'd be my type. I feel like "gamer girls" that I would still find attractive are pretty seldom. When it comes to basketball and music, I'm not good enough for either. Yeah, I do both solo, but if I was part of a group I'm also almost positive that I'd be the weak link holding everyone else back. In terms of my friends, I do have a friend circle in real life, but honestly we just talk to each other for the most part and not really anyone else. Only one of my friends has other girl friends, but they're not interested in me, and I'm not interested in them.

To be honest though it sounds like you're actually looking for excuses to not get out there. I mean you've never actually been to any of these gamer events so how do you know what kind of women are there? Also I'm sure gamer women have their own personality and looks too. They're not just one clone "gamer girl". How can you be not into any of them? They wouldn't all look the same or be the same person. You say you're dying to have a girlfriend but you're coming up with any reason you can find to not actually do anything about it.

You don't need to be good at basketball or music because there are beginner classes for that. Nobody just picks up a guitar and they're the next Slash from Guns n Roses lol Your group of friends don't have to only talk to each other. You can go to events and places and talk to other people too. The way your life is is because you're actually choosing it to be that way and you don't want it to change.

[catfeeder]

You get to decide how important it is to meet women socially. If it's not that important to you, then it's not.

If you want a different outcome, you'll make different choices. It's always your decision to make.

[ShySoul]

As Tinydance said, there are woman of all kinds that play video games. And I've seen several that are attractive, at least in my eyes, both in terms of looks and personality. I'm sure there would be someone that could catch your attention. You never know unless you give it a try. And at the very least, maybe you could simply have fun playing a game together.

I also agree that you seem to be eliminating yourself from anything before you even give it a try. If you really want to meet people, you have to be willing to do things that would put you around people. That means not making excuses why you can't do it. Not every one is going to be a star basketball player or master guitar player. There's always someone better then you, right? But there are also people worse. And most people don't really care. They just do it for the fun of doing it. And they tend to like sharing that fun with others, regardless of skill level.

You don't have to do anything. If you are comfortable doing your own thing, then do it. But that's your choice and it means you are reducing your chances of the other thing you say you want. I'd try to strike a balance. Pick one new thing you would be comfortable with. Give it a try, just to have fun and see what happens. Don't pressure yourself. Don't go into it with any expectations. Just do it. Odds are it won't be that bad. You could even have fun. If you are miserable after giving it some time, then stop. But it's not going to kill you to make the effort.

 

[ShySoul]

So, proof that there is dating sites for any area of interest. One is actually called Girl Gamer Dating.

https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/the-best-dating-sites-for-gamers.html

I wouldn't aim for anything though. Just find a hobby you like. Pick a way to do it that enables you to meet new people. Have fun doing it. See what happens. 

[Kwothe28]

5 hours ago, Ryn4 said:

I guess they can sniff out if that's what your intent is?

Women(except in rare cases) can sniff out what your intent is in general. Its not really a secret what your intent is when you approach somebody who you dont know to talk especially when you are opposite sex. So its kinda useless to hide that.

That being said, why dont you try cooking classes? Probably lots of women there and you can maybe meet somebody like that. Yes, most of gamers thing are male- related. Metal concerts are also nice opportunity and am surprised that you dont have single ladies there. Here they are a minority but there is always a bunch of women as well. Coffee shop isnt really a good idea since people maybe come there to buy coffee and go, not to get approached to. But again, cooking classes might genuinely be a good idea. At least you will learn how to cook and wont be wasting time.

[Ryn4]

8 hours ago, ShySoul said:

So, proof that there is dating sites for any area of interest. One is actually called Girl Gamer Dating.

https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/the-best-dating-sites-for-gamers.html

I wouldn't aim for anything though. Just find a hobby you like. Pick a way to do it that enables you to meet new people. Have fun doing it. See what happens. 

I'll probably give a game club or something like it a try. I'm not gonna lie though my expectations are real low. Maybe that's just the pessimist (realist?) in me. Dating apps are not my thing. I've used them on several occasions and each time I've gotten literally no traction. I've never gotten a match ever. Don't think I have the looks to compete with other guys unfortunately.

[Ryn4]

7 hours ago, Kwothe28 said:

Women(except in rare cases) can sniff out what your intent is in general. Its not really a secret what your intent is when you approach somebody who you dont know to talk especially when you are opposite sex. So its kinda useless to hide that.

That being said, why dont you try cooking classes? Probably lots of women there and you can maybe meet somebody like that. Yes, most of gamers thing are male- related. Metal concerts are also nice opportunity and am surprised that you dont have single ladies there. Here they are a minority but there is always a bunch of women as well. Coffee shop isnt really a good idea since people maybe come there to buy coffee and go, not to get approached to. But again, cooking classes might genuinely be a good idea. At least you will learn how to cook and wont be wasting time.

That's the problem though is I've heard they can sniff out the intent, and if I go to a cooking class with that in mind then I've already lost according to people. I was thinking at the coffee shop more as if someone is sitting down and reading or working on their laptop or something.

[smackie9]

You are letting your anxiety do the walking and talking here. Ever thought of getting some therapy for your social fears? You just need someone to teach you how to "navigate" these feelings of anxiousness when faced with different attempts of getting yourself out there. Everyone doesn't like rejection...it's awful, but it shouldn't prevent you from taking next steps that could totally change your life. Nothing will change unless you do take "risks". change your brain, change your life.

[smackie9]

I am going to add...most people who are single and are involved with social activities are most likely wanting to meet someone, so "intent" would be accepted, not hated.

[Tinydance]

51 minutes ago, Ryn4 said:

That's the problem though is I've heard they can sniff out the intent, and if I go to a cooking class with that in mind then I've already lost according to people. I was thinking at the coffee shop more as if someone is sitting down and reading or working on their laptop or something.

I used to do swing dancing and it was pretty clear most guys were there to meet women. But I was there for the same reason lol I honestly think you're really scared and you're coming up with any reasons not to do anything. You just came up with a reason why every activity we suggested wouldn't work for you. And no offence but some of the reasons just made no sense. Like, "I wouldn't be into any of the gamer girls who would be there." How do you know who would be there? I agree that getting some therapy sounds like a very good idea. I know you said you're shy but it actually sounds like you have really bad social anxiety.

[Ryn4]

13 minutes ago, Tinydance said:

I used to do swing dancing and it was pretty clear most guys were there to meet women. But I was there for the same reason lol I honestly think you're really scared and you're coming up with any reasons not to do anything. You just came up with a reason why every activity we suggested wouldn't work for you. And no offence but some of the reasons just made no sense. Like, "I wouldn't be into any of the gamer girls who would be there." How do you know who would be there? I agree that getting some therapy sounds like a very good idea. I know you said you're shy but it actually sounds like you have really bad social anxiety.

I'm seeing a therapist currently. I'm honestly considering switching. I'm actually waiting to be admitted into residential treatment for my OCD.

[Kwothe28]

1 hour ago, Ryn4 said:

That's the problem though is I've heard they can sniff out the intent, and if I go to a cooking class with that in mind then I've already lost according to people.

Just what do you think it happens when they know why did you approach them? Yes, most women would know that you didnt just approached them to ask them what time it is. But that doesnt mean you are automatically rejected. You strike up a conversation and see where it leads. You have to be able to do that if you are going to meet people. It doesnt matter if its in coffee shop, concert or cooking class. 

[catfeeder]

1 hour ago, Ryn4 said:

...if I go to a cooking class with that in mind then I've already lost according to people.

These obviously aren't people who've taken enrichment classes. I've taken plenty, and these are not serious studies. People are open and receptive to having a good time. If you want to learn to cook, anyway, then go and help uplift the vibe. Commit to surprising yourself.

[Kampuniform3]

14 hours ago, Ryn4 said:

I'm going to be very upfront and honest and say that I am a shy, socially awkward person. I am also mortified of rejection. I have only gone on a few dates in my life, and all except one of them were with the same girl. The majority of my hobbies are solitary: video games, guitar playing, shooting hoop...I do go to concerts, but I'm a huge metalhead, and the shows that I go to are sausage fests. If there are women there, they're with their boyfriend or their boyfriend is in the band. I also do lift weights occasionally, but I've heard hitting on woman at the gym is a bad idea. I was reading in this sub, and it sounds like going to events or classes for the purpose of trying to get to know a woman is not the way to go either. I guess they can sniff out if that's what your intent is? The only thing I can think of is going to a cooking class because I need to learn how to cook. Other than that, the only thing I can think of is trying to talk to someone at a coffee shop where I would go to read. I just legitimately feel hopeless about dating right now. I really want a significant other, but as it stands right now, I feel like I'm going to "die alone." Some help and guidance would be very much appreciated.

Yup, extremely shy and socially awkward here as well. 

Remarkably, no one ever suspected this predisposition of mine. Indeed, my male friends thought that there’d be legions of females clawing the sod away on my front lawn every night, and baying at the moon, in their feverish attempts to win my affections.

I led-what you may call-a very masculine lifestyle, with weightlifting, running, deep sea sailing, mountaineering, rock climbing, etc., all performed at a very high level of expertise, and these activities were just my normal bread-and-butter. My career as an infantry soldier, and later as an engineer, added to the effect.

Imagine my friend’s surprise when I told them that I was single for almost a decade, didn’t date, and this was entirely due to the solitary nature of the masculine lifestyle that I led. 
 

A massive issue was that my shyness led to overcompensating in public. Because I was so terrified, I had to wear a very brave face, which projected an unintentional air of ferocity that wasn’t particularly well embraced. I injected all the levity into social gatherings as a corpse.

We’re flip sides of the same coin.

One day a guy approached me at the gym asking for some advice regarding training. After chatting for a while, he asked a personal question, and my answer wasn’t the one he was expecting. He assumed that woman would naturally gravitate towards me due to my level of physical fitness, and my answer was:

”What does it tell you about the quality of my life if my only means of making it a bearable experience is to come here every day for hours at a time, working myself into an exhausted state?”

I’m telling you all this because it’s extremely easy to lose the plot in life, and make catastrophically false assumptions regarding the basics. 
 

You don’t need to be a superman for a woman to want to share her life with you. You just need to be kind and conscionable. 
 

As with all things in life, you do have to outstare them spectre of rejection, as dating by its nature is a blood sport, and rejection is the norm…until it suddenly isn’t one day with one woman.

Even now, I’d much rather face off against violent seas in my sailboat far out in the ocean than approach a woman that I found attractive, but as they say, a smooth sea never made a skilled sailor. 
 

You need to accept the sting of rejection inherent in the process, as its sting becomes progressively less painful after repeated exposures. As well, rejection isn’t a reflection of your worth as a human being, merely an individual exercising their preferences in the selection process.

I rejected many beautiful women when I was dating, and it was entirely due to compatibility, and never a consequence of some glaring deficiency in their character.

Additionally, there are quite a few personality types that will not be compatible with your own, so developing the ability to glean is paramount. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Ryn4]

1 hour ago, Kampuniform3 said:

Yup, extremely shy and socially awkward here as well. 

Remarkably, no one ever suspected this predisposition of mine. Indeed, my male friends thought that there’d be legions of females clawing the sod away on my front lawn every night, and baying at the moon, in their feverish attempts to win my affections.

I led-what you may call-a very masculine lifestyle, with weightlifting, running, deep sea sailing, mountaineering, rock climbing, etc., all performed at a very high level of expertise, and these activities were just my normal bread-and-butter. My career as an infantry soldier, and later as an engineer, added to the effect.

Imagine my friend’s surprise when I told them that I was single for almost a decade, didn’t date, and this was entirely due to the solitary nature of the masculine lifestyle that I led. 
 

A massive issue was that my shyness led to overcompensating in public. Because I was so terrified, I had to wear a very brave face, which projected an unintentional air of ferocity that wasn’t particularly well embraced. I injected all the levity into social gatherings as a corpse.

We’re flip sides of the same coin.

One day a guy approached me at the gym asking for some advice regarding training. After chatting for a while, he asked a personal question, and my answer wasn’t the one he was expecting. He assumed that woman would naturally gravitate towards me due to my level of physical fitness, and my answer was:

”What does it tell you about the quality of my life if my only means of making it a bearable experience is to come here every day for hours at a time, working myself into an exhausted state?”

I’m telling you all this because it’s extremely easy to lose the plot in life, and make catastrophically false assumptions regarding the basics. 
 

You don’t need to be a superman for a woman to want to share her life with you. You just need to be kind and conscionable. 
 

As with all things in life, you do have to outstare them spectre of rejection, as dating by its nature is a blood sport, and rejection is the norm…until it suddenly isn’t one day with one woman.

Even now, I’d much rather face off against violent seas in my sailboat far out in the ocean than approach a woman that I found attractive, but as they say, a smooth sea never made a skilled sailor. 
 

You need to accept the sting of rejection inherent in the process, as its sting becomes progressively less painful after repeated exposures. As well, rejection isn’t a reflection of your worth as a human being, merely an individual exercising their preferences in the selection process.

I rejected many beautiful women when I was dating, and it was entirely due to compatibility, and never a consequence of some glaring deficiency in their character.

Additionally, there are quite a few personality types that will not be compatible with your own, so developing the ability to glean is paramount. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thank you for the kind sentiment man. I appreciate it. It's good to hear someone deals with something similar to me, though it does sound like you're more a Superman than I'll ever be lol. I will say I think the one (and maybe only?) thing I can pride myself on are my values. I try to be as honest, kind, respectful, and loyal to someone as I possibly can unless I'm absolutely given a reason not to. It just feels like nowadays with social media that having a great personality doesn't get you anywhere. Hell, look at how many terrible people are in positions of power. It's all about how impressive you are at things such as fitness, wealth, and hobbies/passions. I have a hard time separating my inherent self-worth from being skilled at something. Like when I can't figure something out on guitar that others are able to do, I feel like a less valuable human being, especially in terms of woman who'd want to be with me. Also people say rejection isn't personal, but a lot of the time it is. People reject you because they don't want to be around you. I don't know how I'm not supposed to take that to heart, especially if it were to happen constantly.

[itsallgrand]

I would say jump into online dating and just get used to dating and being rejected. Don't worry about the outcome to start, just focus on getting comfortable in your skin in dating. It's like a super power once you realize none of this is tied to your self worth and that you can handle whatever is thrown your way. The key really is building that confidence through experience. You get to a point where you can relax and just be who you are without fear, and that's incredible catnip. 

[Ryn4]

57 minutes ago, itsallgrand said:

I would say jump into online dating and just get used to dating and being rejected. Don't worry about the outcome to start, just focus on getting comfortable in your skin in dating. It's like a super power once you realize none of this is tied to your self worth and that you can handle whatever is thrown your way. The key really is building that confidence through experience. You get to a point where you can relax and just be who you are without fear, and that's incredible catnip. 

Problem is I have no pictures of myself. Literally the only most recent picture I have of myself is my profile picture. I don't know how to get pictures of myself other than like videoing myself playing guitar. So basically all I have in mind is a selfie, and me playing guitar. Other than that, I'm stumped. Unless you had ideas about how I could get more pictures?

[rainbowsandroses]

20 hours ago, Ryn4 said:

The only thing I can think of is going to a cooking class because I need to learn how to cook.

^This is an excellent idea!  Do it!! 

I've taken cooking classes, learned a ton and met many people, both men and women (I'm female btw).

What's great is that you're not there to 'hit on" women, you can get to know them in a non-pressured environment doing something you both love (or like) or want to learn.

20 hours ago, Ryn4 said:

Other than that, the only thing I can think of is trying to talk to someone at a coffee shop where I would go to read.

^^Have you considered joining a book club?  I love to read and this is something I am considering doing myself!

Just a couple of suggestions if you're open to getting out and away from the computer for a bit.

 

 

[TeeDee]

Dating, socializing & small talk are skills.  You can learn them.  I suggest you do.  

Sign up for something like ToastMasters.  It is a group that teaches you about public speaking but not just formal political style speeches but interacting in groups.  It will help with your shyness. 

Do things to improve your self confidence. 

When you master those, it will be easier to meet people.  For now, just try being friendly.  Smile at people & say hi.  You don't have to do anything else for now.  Just that.  See where it gets you 

[Kampuniform3]

6 hours ago, Ryn4 said:

Thank you for the kind sentiment man. I appreciate it. It's good to hear someone deals with something similar to me, though it does sound like you're more a Superman than I'll ever be lol. I will say I think the one (and maybe only?) thing I can pride myself on are my values. I try to be as honest, kind, respectful, and loyal to someone as I possibly can unless I'm absolutely given a reason not to. It just feels like nowadays with social media that having a great personality doesn't get you anywhere. Hell, look at how many terrible people are in positions of power. It's all about how impressive you are at things such as fitness, wealth, and hobbies/passions. I have a hard time separating my inherent self-worth from being skilled at something. Like when I can't figure something out on guitar that others are able to do, I feel like a less valuable human being, especially in terms of woman who'd want to be with me. Also people say rejection isn't personal, but a lot of the time it is. People reject you because they don't want to be around you. I don't know how I'm not supposed to take that to heart, especially if it were to happen constantly.

Yup, we’re singing from the same hymn sheet, mate.

It’s the intangibles that are the true measure of a man, and the reason why they are largely ignored in favour of cheap ephemera that are more like party tricks than anything else. 

You can’t buy conscientiousness, and integrity, as it has to be tested and earned. That’s why it’s no longer in vogue.
 

Some things to keep in mind: You’re already an expert at coping with rejection, but aren’t aware of it. Almost 100% of all human interactions never progress beyond the initial stages of exchanging greetings. 
 

Secondly, regarding dating, these people will never be anything but strangers to you. If your encounter never proceeds beyond the first stage, that person will blend seamlessly and anonymously back into the swirling mass of humanity never to be seen or heard from ever again.  
 

Unless you look like Quasimodo, and have halitosis that would make a dog blush, it’s not personal when a complete and utter stranger declines your relational offer.

I’ve turned down many women in my life, and there will not be a single one today that has to take to her bed wailing and drowning herself in tears reliving the experience, mentally scarred forever.

Ah yes, as men it’s a real cross to bear that our market value is based entirely on our abilities, and our position in the hierarchy. I’m older than you, so what I can confirm is that your fortunes in life are always in a state flux. You have money, lose money, have loads of friends, lose loads for friends, etc. You cannot base your worth on outside circumstances mostly beyond your influence that, by definition, are not constants.