Magical Mystery Tour

[BeaTlesFan77]

Happy Tuesday and time to buckle up for another trip on the Mystery Tour!  This is going to be a long one.  At the conclusion of our last trip, I had mentioned that this past weekend on Saturday, I was going to go to another event at Dave & Busters.  Then Sunday I was going to go to the movies with my film crew with Olive Garden after.  Nothing significant happened during the week, so we’re going to go right into the weekend.  All seated and buckled?  Great, here we go.   

Before I went to the event, I ended up going to an impromptu movie right near D&B.  I saw Speak No Evil starring, James McAvoy.  If you are into horror/thriller type movies, I highly recommend this one.  I never saw the original Danish version which came out in 2022.  All I’m going to say is that it’s a story of two families that meet on a vacation.  They end up hitting it off and one family invites the other family to visit their farmland home months later.  All seems normal and then things start to turn into a nightmare over time.   

After the movie, I walked around a little bit and stopped in a comic shop which I had never been to.  Nothing jumped out at me and said take me home.  If they had the Batman ‘89 comics compilation or an Indiana Jones Omnibus book, it might have been a different story.  Always a plus to save money though.   

Right as I got out of the comic store, the event was starting at D&B.  I walked through the bar and restaurant area to look around before heading up to the second floor where everything was happening.  I knew we were going to be getting free unlimited gaming cards later.  So, I had to scout out what to play.   

They had the large Pac-Man and Galaga dot matrix screen game which was a trip to play.  I’m so used to seeing everything in my sight playing the games on my desktop or game console.  With this one, you really had to move your eyes up and down quickly to follow.  Pac was different where you played traditional rounds and ate the ghosts as usual with the power pellets.  However, each time the fruit came on the screen, it moved around and kept changing into random items.  Depending on which item you ate, the point values were different.  Originally, the fruit would stay still and it would be the same fruit for the whole level.  Galaga was the same as the original.  However, it was more challenging being on a huge screen that you had to get used to. 

Then there was another Galaga game which came out recently with HD graphics and a different style of gameplay.  To clear each wave, you just had to score so many points instead of eliminating each enemy ship on the screen.  The faster the higher points you hit, the quicker the wave goes.  I also tried a new racing game and just now realized I didn’t try the Batman racing game with the Batmobile and other villainous vehicles.  Finally, there was an NBA Jam looking game that recently came out with current players.  A lot of people were congregating around it so I didn’t get to try.   

Now, a little backstory before I go into the next part of the evening.  You might recall from one of my previous entries on 9/1 that I had met a couple of people on 8/31 that I was hoping to hang out with again in the future.  Once that event was coming close to an end, they took off to hang out somewhere else and didn’t ask me to join them.  Which made me feel disappointed.  The woman, J, handed me her phone and said to pull up her Instagram and send an invite to myself so we could stay connected.  The other guy, S, didn’t do the same.  Then I told them have fun where they were going and great to meet them.  Now keep in mind, J had a boyfriend at the time this happened and it sounded like she was getting ready to break up with him.  I was not looking to start dating her or get into her pants.  Just thought she would be someone I could talk to as friends.  She was the same person who gave me the nice compliment after I told her I had never been in a relationship.   

Over the next week, we messaged a few times on Instagram.  She told me she was working 12-hour shifts, so I understood that she was busy and couldn’t talk much.  The following weekend, she had gone on vacation to visit family and friends over the next weekend.  While she was on her vacation, I messaged her once and said looks like you’re having a great time (from seeing her posts) and safe travels coming back home.  She said thanks.  Once she got back days later, I messaged and said glad you got back home safely and that you must’ve been happy to get back to your own bed and see your dog.  To which she never replied and ended up unfollowing me.  I had also noticed that she was following S and vice versa. 

Backstory finished and back to the present evening.  In the days leading up to the event, I noticed that S was coming to the event too with a plus one.  Part of me wondered if J was going to be the plus one.  I started to have bad thoughts about what was going to happen if it was her and we met each other.   

I made my way up to the second floor; the place was packed and popping.  Everyone was watching the UFC fights that were being shown on pay-per-view.  It was hard to get something to drink as there was a long line.  In addition, it was hard to order food as only a couple of servers versus a crowd.  It was hard to get a conversation with someone started as well as it was noisy and most everyone was occupied in groups.  So, I decided to head downstairs and get some games going after I picked up my game card.  

Once I decided to take a break and head back upstairs, I looked over to the escalator and saw J and S together going up.  As you can imagine, the bad thoughts returned and I started seeing red.  I waited for a few minutes and then headed up myself.  I returned to the group area and there was nowhere to sit.  So, I ended up standing against a wall and people watched.  J and S were grabbing drinks at the bar and then headed over to the group.   

Now here’s the part where I’m probably going to get some flak from all of you and should have handled things better.  S sees me and heads over and says great to see you again and how have you been.  So, biting my tongue I replied I’m doing pretty good, how are you and tried to keep a positive looking face.  Then, J starts walking over.  I know you’re all thinking, is this going to turn into a bonus UFC fight at the event?   

Now keep in mind, this is the first time I’ve confronted someone in person who I felt had pushed me off to the curb.  With M from weeks ago, I never got to find out what happened with her and haven’t seen her since.  I’m way over her now in case you’re wondering.   

So, J starts walking towards me and acts like she is happy to see me again and says great to see you.  I just stared at her with a dumbfounded look and in an angry like tone, I asked her if she was being serious right now.  To which she looked at me shocked and asked what do you mean.  I repeated again are you serious.  She responded well I’m a little drunk right now.  S then asks what happened.  J replies to him I know as much as you do right now.  I can’t remember if I said anything else but just shook my head a little and gave her a disappointed look.  J then says I don’t know what’s going but it was great to see you.  To which I replied sarcastically yeah it was great to see you too.  Then they walked away to join another group sitting down.   

At that moment right after, it felt great to get it out of my system.  However, later on I started to feel bad and thought to myself why did I do that.  There was one guy who was standing nearby and he was probably thinking wow.  What was wrong with him?  Once again, I overreacted.  I think what added fuel was how the memory of them leaving without me that one night came back into my head and how I felt inferior.    

I then decided to head downstairs again for more gaming and to cool off.  Played a good half hour or so of the Galaga and Pac games.  Once I got tired of that, I went back up the escalator with the hopes of finally getting a drink or food.   

Ended up sitting on one of the big U-shaped lounge areas.  The venue still hadn’t turned on the huge fans outside on the balcony.  It was also on the humid side with all of the body heat as well.    Then a guy sat down next to me and started rambling on about how he just had surgery recently on his legs.  Without me saying a word to him before that.  I gave him my attention and listened to him for a while and asked him questions too.  After a while, I got my phone out like I was getting a call and excused myself.   

Went to the restroom and came back outside.  I went and stood against another wall and eventually S came over to me to see how I was feeling.  To which I told him I wasn’t mad at him and told him what happened with the whole Instagram situation.  We then had a great discussion about how to not take things personally (which is one of my huge weaknesses) and he showed me examples of chats where he had been ghosted online.   He also told me that the two of them are platonic and just hanging out.  They are each looking for a different type of person to date.  Also confirming that she split with the guy she had told us about back on 8/31.  He told me that if you get ghosted and you end up confronting the person, it’s best not to do what I did as it shows weakness.  It’s best to just stay cool and treat them normally.  That shows that you’re a strong person which is more attractive.  I thanked him for the great chat and for helping to calm me down.  He then invited me to go to the table and hang out with them to which I accepted.   

When I got there, J asked if I was okay now.  To which I replied yes and thank you.  I then asked her to go off to the side with me for a few minutes.  I started by apologizing to her and explained how I have been hurt in the past and that my actions were uncalled for.  She accepted my apology and told me a couples of times she appreciated me doing that.  We then talked about the Instagram situation.  She felt that we had just met and that I was coming on a little too much to which I said I didn’t want her to feel like that.  That wasn’t my intention.  She also mentioned other guys were trying hit on her online and it became overwhelming.   Regarding S, she also confirmed that they were platonic and besties.  That they get along so well and thinks he’s amazing.  She also said that she hopes that I find my tribe.  After our conversation, we went back to the table.  Not a whole lot was said after as she was having a discussion with a couple of other ladies at the table.  She did make to the point to the other ladies that her and S were going to be wingwoman and wingman for each other.  Along with their preferences in a partner.  Finally, J and S announced that they were heading out and were going to another place for karaoke.  I just told them to have a great time and left it at that.  Once again, I felt a little inferior, but that passed quickly. Outside of that, I didn’t make any other connections at the event.   

So, with all of that being said, I’ve decided to keep going to events and just focus on meeting new people and work on respecting boundaries.  Let things develop over time and do not try to force anything.  Take everything I’ve learned from this experience and apply it to future events.  Along with everything you have all said.  I also have to keep reminding myself what S told me about playing things cool and showing strength.  My next event will be on this coming Friday.   

After the D&B event, I went for some comfort food at a local bar near the university that is well known for their seafood.  Had a very scrumptious bowl of New England clam chowder and washed that down with some clam strips.  Very delicious!   

Finally, we come to Sunday.  The second Beetlejuice was good and we all thought the best parts of the movie were Michael Keaton’s scenes.  All pretty funny just like the original.  Sadly, there was no Olive Garden.  The majority wanted to go to a burger place closer to the theater.  Going to get my pasta fix somewhere else or home.   

It’s going to be 3:30 in the morning here on Wednesday now.  Typing all of this out has been very therapeutic and I’m very happy I did it.  Going to bed now.   

Good night.   

[Batya33]

I'm glad you're making this huge effort to get out there despite the ups and downs. My "spidey sense" or, what, "female intuition" is J and S are platonic.  For now.  I think they will end up dating.  I'm glad you're moving on from them and didn't go to karaoke.  I'm sorry you had that unpleasant situation and good for you for apologizing.

[BeaTlesFan77]

12 hours ago, Batya33 said:

I'm glad you're making this huge effort to get out there despite the ups and downs. My "spidey sense" or, what, "female intuition" is J and S are platonic.  For now.  I think they will end up dating.  I'm glad you're moving on from them and didn't go to karaoke.  I'm sorry you had that unpleasant situation and good for you for apologizing.

Even if J is claiming that they each want different types of people for their romantic partners?  

Thank you and yes, when I fall off the horse, I need to keep getting back on and not give up.  Which is what I used to do.  Each time, you get a little more experience and then apply that to the next one.  😃 

I think this past experience was a breakthrough as I saw in action what my 'bad thoughts' look like in reality.  Not very attractive.  

[ShySoul]

What I've learned is most of the time peoples actions are about them and have little or nothing to do with you. So taking something personally rarely helps and ends up making you feel worse and can cause you to act worse. Its still a hard thing to do when your emotions are all riled up and you can't separate yourself from them.

Good on you for seeing how you were acting and for making it right. S seems like an all around decent person. Also good that you are really committed to making the most of your time and enjoying yourself, whatever the activity. And most of all, good that you got in some gaming time. 😉 

Hope you find your tribe. Pretty sure its an awesome one.

[BeaTlesFan77]

I just watched this and it was eye-opening for me.  Going to make it a daily activity to view.  

[Batya33]

10 hours ago, BeaTlesFan77 said:

Even if J is claiming that they each want different types of people for their romantic partners?  

Thank you and yes, when I fall off the horse, I need to keep getting back on and not give up.  Which is what I used to do.  Each time, you get a little more experience and then apply that to the next one.  😃 

I think this past experience was a breakthrough as I saw in action what my 'bad thoughts' look like in reality.  Not very attractive.  

That is a huge breakthrough!! My teenage son had such a breakthrough last night in an argument with me and I saw the switch flip as he realized it was coming from a cranky place and you know teenager (I know that's different from an adult!!) - he apologized and disagreed when I said I also had overreacted.  But yes it's so important to try again the horse, the bike, a meetup!

Very often with J and S it's a case of "the lady does protest too much" - or classic When Harry Met Sally.  For sure if there was a real dealbreaker like they wanted entirely different things out of life/one of them was moving as soon as Hawaii and Alaska Airlines merge, etc - then ok but since she chooses to get buzzed etc one of these  days there will be that kiss or the epiphany that is like -wow I guess...... just my speculation but a wee bit stronger than speculation.  I'm biased as I'm married to someone I never ever thought would be for me and I told several people that before we reconnected.

[Kwothe28]

On 9/17/2024 at 12:32 PM, BeaTlesFan77 said:

The second Beetlejuice was good and we all thought the best parts of the movie were Michael Keaton’s scenes.

Still need to check it out. But didnt heard great things about it other than from you. Also need to look that NBA Jam thing. I loved it on Sega Genesis(or as we in Europe call it Sega Mega Drive 2). 

Anyway I wont scold you for the situation. But yes, the guy was essentially right. Even if you are angry you shouldnt show weakness. Guy could be thinking “Ha I bested him and he is mad”(I know, they told you they arent together but maybe they are) and she thinks “See, I was right about that guy and he would make same scenes if I was with him”. Being “cool” makes way more better impact than anything. If you found some other woman to talk about, then even better. It would truly show that you dont care. Like this, you just gave them value. Just something to think about if it happens again in life. 

[BeaTlesFan77]

9 hours ago, Kwothe28 said:

Like this, you just gave them value. Just something to think about if it happens again in life. 

Can you elaborate a little more on this part?  Thanks.  

[BeaTlesFan77]

Happy Wednesday!  I got some bad news and some great news.  Hope your week has been treating you well.  

The bad news is that I was removed from three Meetups last night, which are all managed by the same person who did the one last Saturday night.  No explanation was given but I'm pretty sure I know how come.  I wasn't even given a warning nor did I have a discussion with the organizer regarding the action being taken.  So, my dance card will now be wide open and free to pursue other interests.  

Now the great news.  This afternoon, I was invited back for a second interview with the company I interviewed with last Friday.  For this second one, it will be a virtual format.  Just waiting to see if it's going to be Monday or this coming Friday.  

[Kwothe28]

1 hour ago, BeaTlesFan77 said:

Can you elaborate a little more on this part?  Thanks.  

I am not English native speaker so maybe I didnt express myself good. I meant "give value" as "boosted their ego". He now maybe thinks he is all that because he got the woman and she had multiple men fight over her and you even causing a scene. If you were "cool", it would show that you dont care. Nothing of that would ever happen, he maybe wouldnt even find out about you messaging her, she would maybe even think that she made a mistake in judging you as "too much" and now you wouldnt be removed from Meetups. Yes, its not an easy feat to accomplish when you took it personally. But sometimes stuff like that accomplishes way more than confrontation. 

[BeaTlesFan77]

39 minutes ago, Kwothe28 said:

I am not English native speaker so maybe I didnt express myself good. I meant "give value" as "boosted their ego". He now maybe thinks he is all that because he got the woman and she had multiple men fight over her and you even causing a scene. If you were "cool", it would show that you dont care. Nothing of that would ever happen, he maybe wouldnt even find out about you messaging her, she would maybe even think that she made a mistake in judging you as "too much" and now you wouldnt be removed from Meetups. Yes, its not an easy feat to accomplish when you took it personally. But sometimes stuff like that accomplishes way more than confrontation. 

Thank you for elaborating. It all makes perfect sense now. My actions possibly made the guy feel like he scored bonus points and it made him look better. 

[Wonderstruck]

2 hours ago, BeaTlesFan77 said:

The bad news is that I was removed from three Meetups last night, which are all managed by the same person who did the one last Saturday night.  No explanation was given but I'm pretty sure I know how come. 

You're really lucky that's ALL that happened.

If you continue acting as pushy, entitled, and aggressive as you have been, someone is eventually going to get the authorities involved.

Just because you are interested in a woman, that does not mean that she is OBLIGATED to return your interest.

You do NOT get to guilt-trip her for daring to unfollow you on Instagram - she has every right to unfollow you, AND stay away from you if your over-zealous behaviour is making her feel UNCOMFORTABLE.

Also, why are you acting like "J" would be BETRAYING YOU if she DID start dating "S"? She doesn't owe you ANYTHING, and she can date whoever she wants.

This isn't about learning to "play it cool" - you actually need to change your ENTIRE attitude and approach toward women.

Stop getting emotionally attached so QUICKLY, stop acting over-zealous, and calmly and graciously accept people's decisions.

Nobody owes you ANYTHING and you need to come to terms with this.

Please note: I am not saying any of this to be "rude" or insult you, I'm genuinely trying to give you a woman's perspective and help you prevent this from happening again.

[BeaTlesFan77]

29 minutes ago, Wonderstruck said:

You're really lucky that's ALL that happened.

If you continue acting as pushy, entitled, and aggressive as you have been, someone is eventually going to get the authorities involved.

Just because you are interested in a woman, that does not mean that she is OBLIGATED to return your interest.

You do NOT get to guilt-trip her for daring to unfollow you on Instagram - she has every right to unfollow you, AND stay away from you if your over-zealous behaviour is making her feel UNCOMFORTABLE.

Also, why are you acting like "J" would be BETRAYING YOU if she DID start dating "S"? She doesn't owe you ANYTHING, and she can date whoever she wants.

This isn't about learning to "play it cool" - you actually need to change your ENTIRE attitude and approach toward women.

Stop getting emotionally attached so QUICKLY, stop acting over-zealous, and calmly and graciously accept people's decisions.

Nobody owes you ANYTHING and you need to come to terms with this.

Please note: I am not saying any of this to be "rude" or insult you, I'm genuinely trying to give you a woman's perspective and help you prevent this from happening again.

I love your feedback Wonder and I agree that this is exactly what I need to nail into my head. Changing my entire approach and attitude.  With that being said, is there anything else that I can do differently outside of what you’ve already said?  Thanks.  

[Batya33]

8 hours ago, BeaTlesFan77 said:

I love your feedback Wonder and I agree that this is exactly what I need to nail into my head. Changing my entire approach and attitude.  With that being said, is there anything else that I can do differently outside of what you’ve already said?  Thanks.  

I agree with Wonderstruck -and I think check yourself/monitor yourself more closely as to how you might or plan to react and for now stay sober and don't approach anyone who is not if you're upset and are tempted to confront.