Magical Mystery Tour

[BeaTlesFan77]

Welcome to my adventures out in the wild world of modern dating in real life.  In addition to life in general. Feel free to provide any feedback on things I should have done differently.  Thank you for stopping by!  😀

[BeaTlesFan77]

Last night I went to a Meetup at a sports bar/nightclub. It was a 'nut and bolt' mixer where you get tickets for finding a match. The more matches you make, the more tickets you get towards a prize (Valentine gift basket or something), which I didn't care about.

Talked to a girl named M. She dressed nicely and not ***ty like the typical crowd that would be around there.  In addition, she was also well-rounded in terms of hobbies/interests.  We talked for about 15 minutes or so before the mingling event started.  She asked me questions too and it was a balanced conversation.  Made her laugh a few times too.  At the beginning of our conversation, she told me she was nervous.

During the event, we circled back to each other a couple of times to see how we were doing.  One of the times I went outside for air, I saw her with another guy at the event at the other end of the balcony.  I stayed on my side and didn't intrude.  She spent a lot of time with him and his friend.  I didn't get jealous, which I'm proud of myself for.  At the end of the event, she ended up leaving without circling back to me again. She left with one of the two guys she was hanging out with. I never got the opportunity to speak to her again and ask her to meet up with me next week for coffee in a more quiet place. Even though I said I wasn’t jealous, I still felt sad that she just took off. Drove home feeling dejected.

After sleeping on things, I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt and reach out for closure. I sent her a message, which I kept very high level. Just a great to meet you last night and enjoyed getting to know you some. Would like to meet again someplace quieter, like a coffee shop. Are you available next week? If she never responds, there is my closure, and I’m going to leave it at that.

I wasn’t able to make any other connections at the event as it started to get really loud, making it difficult to have an intelligent conversation. In addition to the mind-altering alcohol. I don’t know what imbasil came up with the concept for this type of event. Environments like this can’t possibly create quality matches. I would be dumb founded if it did.

This evening, I’m going to another Meetup in a different part of town that’s being held in a restaurant type environment and not a nightclub. More of a relaxed vibe and not a singles' mixer.

[Batya33]

I think it's fabulous that you messaged her. And I like what you wrote! Good for you.

[yogacat]

Sounds like my "mystery networking" event not too long ago. It's too bad the man I met wasn't a meet-up member. I might have tried to see if he was attending an event and joined! 😚😄

When you were first talking to her, who left first? How come you two separated, e.g., did she need a restroom break or needed the restroom, etc.? Cause I'm wondering if your talking with her first in the beginning was cut short because of trying to go outside for some air, and then went around to mingling events with her afterward but missed out and left instead with the other dude-guy around the end of the night what have you.

Well, you never really know how these things will pan out. I hope she reaches out!...  If you hear nothing....well, you likely got your closure.

[BeaTlesFan77]

2 minutes ago, yogacat said:

Sounds like my "mystery networking" event not too long ago. It's too bad the man I met wasn't a meet-up member. I might have tried to see if he was attending an event and joined! 😚😄

When you were first talking to her, who left first? How come you two separated, e.g., did she need a restroom break or needed the restroom, etc.? Cause I'm wondering if your talking with her first in the beginning was cut short because of trying to go outside for some air, and then went around to mingling events with her afterward but missed out and left instead with the other dude-guy around the end of the night what have you.

Well, you never really know how these things will pan out. I hope she reaches out!...  If you hear nothing....well, you likely got your closure.

To clarify, when we were chatting on the couch, the host came up and gave each of us a game piece.  Luckily, we had a match the first time around.  We then went to the host table to each get our ticket.  From there, I needed to get some fresh air and invited her to come out with me if she wanted to.  She said she was going to do some mingling.  Which I respected and said sounds good, and I would talk to her again a little later.  I didn't want to be that puppy dog following her everywhere she went, and wanted to respect her space and time.

[ShySoul]

47 minutes ago, BeaTlesFan77 said:

Environments like this can’t possibly create quality matches. I would be dumb founded if it did.

I'll be expecting you to take that back should she call you and you do hit it off. 😉

Sounds like it wasn't your kind of event. But you never know unless you try, right? And you handled yourself perfectly. Good for you for messaging her and being as kind as you were in what you wrote. She's a fool if she doesn't write back.

Hope the second event is more fun and there is someone awesome waiting to meet you there. 

[yogacat]

48 minutes ago, BeaTlesFan77 said:

To clarify, when we were chatting on the couch, the host came up and gave each of us a game piece.  Luckily, we had a match the first time around.  We then went to the host table to each get our ticket.  From there, I needed to get some fresh air and invited her to come out with me if she wanted to.  She said she was going to do some mingling.  Which I respected and said sounds good, and I would talk to her again a little later.  I didn't want to be that puppy dog following her everywhere she went, and wanted to respect her space and time.

I see. I get her wanting to mingle to play the game with w/the event, meet people, make new connections, and what have you... I was just curious how the conversation ended, I didn't realize you had asked her to join you outside.  Ah, well, still hope she reaches out!

Sounds fun, even though the venue wasn't really your scene! Probably I'd have a bit of nervousness myself. Meetup/networking events can be intimidating.🙂

[BeaTlesFan77]

Had a much better time at the event last night.  Made a few connections, but not of the dating kind.  Just people I hope to hang out with again in the near future at another event or away from Meetup.  Like I mentioned in my previous post, this event was much more relaxed and chill.  The only thing I didn't like was the live music being on the really loud side.  Don't get me wrong, I like acoustic sets, but not while I'm trying to get to know someone.  It finally ended after a couple of hours.  From there, the conversations were much easier.  At the end of the night, I was just a little disappointed that a couple of the people I was hanging out with didn't invite me to hang out with them after at another location.  Hurts when people make plans right in front of you, and you're not included. 

As far as M goes, I think I got the closure I needed.  I looked at her profile and she changed her picture recently, so I know she was active.  She didn't bother to return my message, and it's been just about 24 hours.  Again, it stings, but I'll get over it.  All I know is that she missed out on a great thing. 

[BeaTlesFan77]

20 hours ago, yogacat said:

Sounds fun, even though the venue wasn't really your scene! Probably I'd have a bit of nervousness myself. Meetup/networking events can be intimidating.🙂

Yes, they can be intimidating.  I think once you break the ice and talk to someone, things get easier as the evening goes.  Then you talk to someone else and so on.  Like a positive snowball effect.

[BeaTlesFan77]

One thing I forgot to mention in my last post regarding the event.  Something really nice happened.  With one of the ladies I met, we were talking about how her and her boyfriend met and about their relationship.  She asked me when was the last time I was in a relationship.  To which I answered never.  She responded and said that that's really special and that when I meet my person, she is going to be really happy that she is my first.  That made me feel fantastic and boosted my confidence.  Especially coming from a very beautiful woman with a great heart.  Also helped me feel better about the situation with M. 

[ShySoul]

4 hours ago, BeaTlesFan77 said:

She responded and said that that's really special and that when I meet my person, she is going to be really happy that she is my first.  That made me feel fantastic and boosted my confidence.  Especially coming from a very beautiful woman with a great heart.

Same thing happened to me before. A really fantastic woman with a great heart told me that when I found the right one, she'd be lucky and would be glad to know I had waited for her. I also got women who were stunned I hadn't been in a relationship because they said I knew women so well. Hearing all of that really helped my confidence at a time when I needed every boost I could get.

Believe her. You're a gentleman and good guy. Some woman is going to be very lucky one day to find such a guy who is unspoiled and able to experience everything as fresh and new. Pretty sure that will be a fun time. Just hope it happens for you soon.

As for the meetups, just take it as it goes. Odds are most of the people you meet won't lead to too much. But if you can get one or two friends out of it, that's cool. Have fun with it.

[BeaTlesFan77]

18 hours ago, ShySoul said:

Same thing happened to me before. A really fantastic woman with a great heart told me that when I found the right one, she'd be lucky and would be glad to know I had waited for her. I also got women who were stunned I hadn't been in a relationship because they said I knew women so well. Hearing all of that really helped my confidence at a time when I needed every boost I could get.

Believe her. You're a gentleman and good guy. Some woman is going to be very lucky one day to find such a guy who is unspoiled and able to experience everything as fresh and new. Pretty sure that will be a fun time. Just hope it happens for you soon.

As for the meetups, just take it as it goes. Odds are most of the people you meet won't lead to too much. But if you can get one or two friends out of it, that's cool. Have fun with it.

Thanks Shy.  I appreciate your kind words.  Yes, I would also prefer it happens in the near future and not in a couple of decades.  

I'm already over the situation with the after-Meetup activity and am looking forward to the next one with that same group.  Just have to keep the momentum going and attend at least one or two social events a week.  If I don't, then I'm going to slip back into a depressive state or fall off the positivity wagon per se.  In addition, I also need to step out of my comfort zone for new experiences.  

How did you do with the Meetups?  

  

[BeaTlesFan77]

It's been a great Labor Day so far.  I went to dinner with my mother last night and stayed overnight at the family home.  Then I took her out to brunch today.  Going to hang out the rest of the day and watch movies or our favorite shows.  

Hope everyone is also having a great one!

[ShySoul]

Um, Meetups? Wait, who said anything about me doing meetups? 😱

My experience was long ago through chat rooms and message boards. Got to know several people well, mostly females. Even met a few in person. The topic of relationships would eventually come up, even if we weren't looking for anything or were clearly just in friend mode. And not one ever thought less of me for not having had a relationship. If anything, I'd say they were more interested. 😉

Don't think the Meetup thing is for me, though I'll consider it if you would recommend it. 

Have a good rest of the holiday.

[BeaTlesFan77]

38 minutes ago, ShySoul said:

Um, Meetups? Wait, who said anything about me doing meetups? 😱

“As for the meetups, just take it as it goes. Odds are most of the people you meet won't lead to too much. But if you can get one or two friends out of it, that's cool. Have fun with it.”

[ShySoul]

17 minutes ago, BeaTlesFan77 said:

“As for the meetups, just take it as it goes. Odds are most of the people you meet won't lead to too much. But if you can get one or two friends out of it, that's cool. Have fun with it.”

lol. That was based on everything I've heard about meetups or the few social things I've been involved with where I've had to interact with strangers (usually work related). It's not something I make a habit out of. 😄

Would say that for most things, really. Just have fun, don't take it to seriously, and see what happens. Good for you for trying it and hope it works out.

 

[yogacat]

On 9/1/2024 at 2:21 PM, BeaTlesFan77 said:

Yes, they can be intimidating.  I think once you break the ice and talk to someone, things get easier as the evening goes.  Then you talk to someone else and so on.  Like a positive snowball effect.

I'm going to a networking event tonight. I'll make sure to use your good sense and advice.  😋

[Batya33]

My friend met his wife at an event like this -a dinner organized for people to meet each other - they got married about 2 years after they met, about 16 years ago.

[BeaTlesFan77]

2 minutes ago, yogacat said:

I'm going to a networking event tonight. I'll make sure to use your good sense and advice.  😋

Have a great time and hope you make a connection!  Is it a formal dinner or a mixer for single professionals?

[yogacat]

54 minutes ago, BeaTlesFan77 said:

Have a great time and hope you make a connection!  Is it a formal dinner or a mixer for single professionals?

Why, thank you!

It's neither. Just a mix of different professionals with a love for good food and perhaps a glass of fresh IPA/craft beer, and, hmm, I think tonight is a trivia surprise of sorts. I live in Wine/Beer County.

I plan to do a Toastmasters event; I wish they had one for a few other things that interest me, but I haven't found anything close. I've done line dancing and a few different dance forms and tried learning Spanish with friends.

I was supposed to trim my Mom's hair for her tonight, but I forgot about this. 🙊😬

This weekend I did the whole bbq thing and tonight I just want to venture out on my own for a bit.

On 9/1/2024 at 1:43 PM, BeaTlesFan77 said:

Had a much better time at the event last night.  Made a few connections, but not of the dating kind.  Just people I hope to hang out with again in the near future at another event or away from Meetup.  Like I mentioned in my previous post, this event was much more relaxed and chill.  The only thing I didn't like was the live music being on the really loud side.  Don't get me wrong, I like acoustic sets, but not while I'm trying to get to know someone.  It finally ended after a couple of hours.  From there, the conversations were much easier.  At the end of the night, I was just a little disappointed that a couple of the people I was hanging out with didn't invite me to hang out with them after at another location.  Hurts when people make plans right in front of you, and you're not included. 

I'm glad you still had a good time and made some connections. Sometimes, people forget to extend an invite, and it happens. Cheers to more fun and relaxed events in the future!🙂🙃

[Batya33]

16 minutes ago, yogacat said:

Why, thank you!

It's neither. Just a mix of different professionals with a love for good food and perhaps a glass of fresh IPA/craft beer, and, hmm, I think tonight is a trivia surprise of sorts. I live in Wine/Beer County.

I plan to do a Toastmasters event; I wish they had one for a few other things that interest me, but I haven't found anything close. I've done line dancing and a few different dance forms and tried learning Spanish with friends.

I was supposed to trim my Mom's hair for her tonight, but I forgot about this. 🙊😬

This weekend I did the whole bbq thing and tonight I just want to venture out on my own for a bit.

I'm glad you still had a good time and made some connections. Sometimes, people forget to extend an invite, and it happens. Cheers to more fun and relaxed events in the future!🙂🙃

I used to go to a women's networking group but then covid and I don't think I went back after.  Also the focus started being more on paid events and I don't really drink so paying for open bar etc wasn't worth it to me. One time I did do yoga with them, did some lunches/happy hours and a lecture thing given by headhunters (when I was looking to return to work after 5-6 years as a SAHM).  I met some good people and still am linked in with certain of them.  I was in a less formal dinner/networking women's group from 2005-09 or so that met monthly for dinners and discussions and we also attended certain benefits together.  I ended up meeting some of the women for brunch and also participated in some volunteer work with them.  It was a really nice way to get to meet people.  Last night I spoke with one of them for about an hour -we talk and message every month or so -we met in 2007 I think.

I have been working a lot and need to get out more doing that sort of thing again. Or volunteering.  Covid really threw a long lasting wrench in things -at least- long lasting for me! Hard to get back in the saddle!  

[ShySoul]

1 hour ago, Batya33 said:

I have been working a lot and need to get out more doing that sort of thing again. Or volunteering.  Covid really threw a long lasting wrench in things -at least- long lasting for me! Hard to get back in the saddle!  

Did the same for me. Literally made it impossible to get back to my volunteering since they took away the only hours I was free. Need to figure out something else instead.

If you had fun doing that stuff, pick it up again. Get back in the saddle and ride. Life's too short. Live it to it's fullest taking what you want from it. 

[ShySoul]

2 hours ago, yogacat said:

I'm going to a networking event tonight. I'll make sure to use your good sense and advice.  😋

Good luck and have fun. Imagine you'll blow people away. Just hope the event has better signage this time. 😉

How was the line dancing event? If I didn't have to do it in front of people, I think I'd be interested in that. Although it wouldn't be much of a line then, would it?

 

[yogacat]

 

22 hours ago, Batya33 said:

I used to go to a women's networking group but then covid and I don't think I went back after.  Also the focus started being more on paid events and I don't really drink so paying for open bar etc wasn't worth it to me. One time I did do yoga with them, did some lunches/happy hours and a lecture thing given by headhunters (when I was looking to return to work after 5-6 years as a SAHM).  I met some good people and still am linked in with certain of them.  I was in a less formal dinner/networking women's group from 2005-09 or so that met monthly for dinners and discussions and we also attended certain benefits together.  I ended up meeting some of the women for brunch and also participated in some volunteer work with them.  It was a really nice way to get to meet people.  Last night I spoke with one of them for about an hour -we talk and message every month or so -we met in 2007 I think.

I have been working a lot and need to get out more doing that sort of thing again. Or volunteering.  Covid really threw a long lasting wrench in things -at least- long lasting for me! Hard to get back in the saddle!  

I've done volunteering in animal shelters and for children with diabetes. Volunteering for a major publication that focused on low-income families and changes that the government intended was very interesting. I'd like to do some more volunteering again when time allows. I'm also interested in toastmasters, because public speaking is a critical part of the field I am currently training in (Healthcare Administration) and I need to be able to convey information in a professional way to my audience (clinic patients.)

If you live near a big city, you might look at the Hell's Kitchen Farm Project. It's very impressive.

I am a bit sporadic with these networking events so I need to devote more time to them. It's good that you've been involved with some interesting service activities. The women last night, two of them came over to me and they were very nice and made me feel welcome so hopefully I'll be seeing them again for the next networking event. 

Last night was fun, we were separated into several groups and the venue had a big trivia game and you could place stickers on the answer and go back and forth on the questions with one of the women who was a host. I learned that Australians have a special dessert (no, not vegi-mite 😄) but we here in America refer to it as Rocky Road. 

I think that as we live in an increasingly online world, these in-person networking events become even more important. It's easy to connect with people online, but nothing beats face-to-face interaction. Also, it's interesting to learn about different cultures and customs through these events. 

20 hours ago, ShySoul said:

Good luck and have fun. Imagine you'll blow people away. Just hope the event has better signage this time. 😉

How was the line dancing event? If I didn't have to do it in front of people, I think I'd be interested in that. Although it wouldn't be much of a line then, would it?

 

Thanks Shymixalot.

The line dancing event was great and I actually did pretty well! I definitely surprised myself. It was a small group of about 8 women and men and the instructor was really good at breaking down the steps for us. And don't worry, the first few times we went through the dance, it was definitely not a straight line. But by the end, we were all in sync and having a blast. When we finished the class, we all went to a country bar and practiced our new moves together. It was a lot of fun and I'm glad I pushed myself out of my comfort zone to try something new. Definitely recommend giving it a shot!

[Batya33]

2 minutes ago, yogacat said:

 

I've done volunteering in animal shelters and for children with diabetes. Volunteering for a major publication that focused on low-income families and changes that the government intended was very interesting. I'd like to do some more volunteering again when time allows. I'm also interested in toastmasters, because public speaking is a critical part of the field I am currently training in (Healthcare Administration) and I need to be able to convey information in a professional way to my audience (clinic patients.)

If you live near a big city, you might look at the Hell's Kitchen Farm Project. It's very impressive.

I am a bit sporadic with these networking events so I need to devote more time to them. It's good that you've been involved with some interesting service activities. The women last night, two of them came over to me and they were very nice and made me feel welcome so hopefully I'll be seeing them again for the next networking event. 

Last night was fun, we were separated into several groups and the venue had a big trivia game and you could place stickers on the answer and go back and forth on the questions with one of the women who was a host. I learned that Australians have a special dessert (no, not vegi-mite 😄) but we here in America refer to it as Rocky Road. 

I think that as we live in an increasingly online world, these in-person networking events become even more important. It's easy to connect with people online, but nothing beats face-to-face interaction. Also, it's interesting to learn about different cultures and customs through these events. 

Thanks Shymixalot.

The line dancing event was great and I actually did pretty well! I definitely surprised myself. It was a small group of about 8 women and men and the instructor was really good at breaking down the steps for us. And don't worry, the first few times we went through the dance, it was definitely not a straight line. But by the end, we were all in sync and having a blast. When we finished the class, we all went to a country bar and practiced our new moves together. It was a lot of fun and I'm glad I pushed myself out of my comfort zone to try something new. Definitely recommend giving it a shot!

What a great read Yogacat -love reading about all you do! I used to help with the phonathons for my local public radio station then that went away with covid. Once I was vaccinated I volunteered for one event there and am still on the list.  My son and I trained some so he could volunteer at an animal shelter but the training became too onerous given his school schedule. He's done volunteer work as part of school and camp. I will go back to volunteering with the public radio station when I can.  I have been very good at public speaking since I was very young -did forensics team for a semester in college even! Toastmasters from all I've heard is -fabulous.  Good for you!

Between my part time job, added child care stuff because his high school is far away and my husband's work and travel schedule it's challenging to fit in blocks of time to volunteer.