What was the point in my ex asking why I blocked him ?

[SooSad33]

Yeah, let this be a learning experience.  It was a short relationship and he or both of you messed each other around some more after it was done.  Just don't!  

Don't lead someone on like that.  No head games, guilt trips or ego boosts.  If it's done, then be done!

It's not right or fair on the other.

I get it, sometimes it can be hard to accept be and be completely over them right away, but continuing on like this or leading them on, using them to get over them etc. is NOT the right way to do it.

Deal with your own emotions on your own. And yeah, block the guy. You two are done.

 

[Taylor]

2 hours ago, SooSad33 said:

Yeah, let this be a learning experience.  It was a short relationship and he or both of you messed each other around some more after it was done.  Just don't!  

Don't lead someone on like that.  No head games, guilt trips or ego boosts.  If it's done, then be done!

It's not right or fair on the other.

I get it, sometimes it can be hard to accept be and be completely over them right away, but continuing on like this or leading them on, using them to get over them etc. is NOT the right way to do it.

Deal with your own emotions on your own. And yeah, block the guy. You two are done.

 

I wasn’t playing games nor was I using him 

[SooSad33]

19 minutes ago, Taylor said:

I wasn’t playing games nor was I using him 

Good, but it goes for both sides.

I guess you see he was just using you, right?  Don't allow it!

If he's trying to 'use you' or boost his ego, don't let him. Let him deal with what is.. the end.

Continue on as you are. Don't give into his little poor me explanations etc.  And I am not a 'friend' really to any of my ex's.  Unless, someday you realize you have no more 'feelings' for them and are okay.  But, usually its a No.

 

[rainbowsandroses]

25 minutes ago, Taylor said:

I wasn’t playing games nor was I using him 

Fair enough.

In response to your post stating the relationship was unhealthy and you both have lots of faults that contributed, I ask again.

23 hours ago, rainbowsandroses said:

can you share what some of your faults were that you believed caused you to argue resulting in him ghosting you?  And that made your relationship unhealthy?

I'll be direct, during your arguments, was there any sort of verbal abuse?  From either of you?  

Not accusing just asking but if there was, him ghosting you thereafter would certainly be understandable imo.  Even temporarily to cool down.

There is no judgment here Taylor, not from me anyway, but we (I) can't properly advise unless and until we have all context. 

 

 

 

[Taylor]

46 minutes ago, rainbowsandroses said:

Fair enough.

In response to your post stating the relationship was unhealthy and you both have lots of faults that contributed, I ask again.

I'll be direct, during your arguments, was there any sort of verbal abuse?  From either of you?  

Not accusing just asking but if there was, him ghosting you thereafter would certainly be understandable imo.  Even temporarily to cool down.

There is no judgment here Taylor, not from me anyway, but we (I) can't properly advise unless and until we have all context. 

 

 

 

There were times I wanted to break up with him and I told him that during the arguments. He would respond with saying “I know you want to leave me anyways etc”. The reason why was because I was telling him the same thing over and over again and it seemed like he just didn’t care. a lot of arguments were petty and I started most of them so that’s all on me 
 

 

[ShySoul]

Constant arguing over petty things, standing people up, using each other for (mutually agreed upon) sex... this was unhealthy for both sides and both sides made errors. You can play the blame game and be mad at a person, or you can own up to this being a mistake and just separate yourself from something that clearly does more harm then good. Reliving the past and being angry isn't going to change things. It's not going to make anyone feel better. So accept that mistakes were made and put it in the past where it belongs. Focus on your life and doing things better in the future, not doing the things you may have done and not accepting the things he may have done.

Sorry you went through this. Hope the next relationship is a lot better.

[ShySoul]

On 8/31/2024 at 10:27 AM, rainbowsandroses said:

There are three sides to every story, yours, his and the truth!

Very rarely do we hear the truth because that would entail people own their role in the breakup and events occurring afterwards.

Thank you for this rainbows. I sometimes think we're getting a one sided view of situations. No judgement as it's natural that people, especially hurt people, will put themselves in the best light and the other person in a negative one. But there's usually more to the story then what we know. And things are rarely entirely one sided.

As an old show I love said, "Understanding is a three edged sword." There's you're side, thier side, and the truth which usually lies somewhere in the middle.

[TeeDee]

Needless immature drama, especially for an interaction that barely lasted 90 days.  Whatever else it was or may have been it was too short to actually be deep.  Stop thinking it was more than it was.  Don't stay in contact playing the *** for tat game.   The man ghosted you on Valentine's Day during what should have been the honeymoon period for your relationship.   That is a door that should have been slammed & nailed shut.  

When you break up go NC & stay that way on all platforms.   If you randomly see them when you are out, they get a tightlipped half smile, a curt nod of head & then you move along.   When you engage you get all this drama & garbage you are trying to deal with now.  

You block somebody because you never want to talk to them again. Nobody needs to ask why.  

[rainbowsandroses]

2 hours ago, TeeDee said:

The man ghosted you on Valentine's Day during what should have been the honeymoon period for your relationship.   That is a door that should have been slammed & nailed shut.  

^^Why though? 

OP posted that just prior, the previous night, she instigated a silly petty argument with him and told him as she had done on many occasions that she wanted to break up with him!  She admitted to it. 

Had a boyfriend done those things to me the night before V-Day I would have ghosted him too!

And I'm sure if I had posted here what he had said/done, I would have been advised to do so.

Why is there always a double standard when it comes to such things? 

A guy treats a woman like **** so she ghosts the following day and it's the right thing to do but when a woman does same and the man ghosts the following day, he's a POS and it's a dealbreaker?

I don't get it. 

[ShySoul]

38 minutes ago, rainbowsandroses said:

A guy treats a woman like **** so she ghosts the following day and it's the right thing to do but when a woman does same and the man ghosts the following day, he's a POS and it's a dealbreaker?

I don't get it. 

Posters bias. If the guy was the one posting and saying how he was treated poorly so he stopped contact, he would probably be told it was the right choice. Whoever gets their word in first becomes the one that draws the most sympathy.

Agreed, it's a crappy situation all the way around. Whoever starts (or continues) the petty fights is in the wrong. Whoever ghosts is in the wrong. 

Regardless, move on and use it as lesson on what not to do so that the next relationship can be a bit more mature and functional.

[TeeDee]

On 9/2/2024 at 5:09 PM, rainbowsandroses said:

^^Why though? 

OP posted that just prior, the previous night, she instigated a silly petty argument with him and told him as she had done on many occasions that she wanted to break up with him!  She admitted to it. 

Had a boyfriend done those things to me the night before V-Day I would have ghosted him too!

If SHE wanted to break up before & his ghosting was a response to that, all the more reason these people need to be & stay disconnected.  

All this back & forth drama, getting back together, talking, blocking, what a bunch of hooey.  Stay apart.  You don't work as a couple. 

[rainbowsandroses]

7 minutes ago, TeeDee said:

If SHE wanted to break up before & his ghosting was a response to that, all the more reason these people need to be & stay disconnected.  

All this back & forth drama, getting back together, talking, blocking, what a bunch of hooey.  Stay apart.  You don't work as a couple. 

Fair point! 

[Jaunty]

The whole thing sounds just plain awful.   Can you just walk away from all of this nonsense?  I mean, why care "why" he asked something?  Your whole deal was mostly game playing, as far as I can tell. There's no reason that anyone here can tell "why" he would do something or another any better than you can.

Move on now!

[yogacat]

He said he still liked you and wanted to take you out and then ghosted you; then he unblocks you a month later and starts stalking your social media, sending you a text.

In one of his responses, he said, "I always still had feelings for you but didn’t think we needed to be in a relationship again, and I’ve told you that." 

In another response, he said, "I was just curious as to why you blocked me. I won’t bother you anymore." 

He also says, "Don’t make sense to me... Bc did I not say I still had feelings for you but don’t think it’s a good idea to be together?"

He tells you he still has feelings for you but then ghosts. 

-Why did you keep going back for more? 
-What were your arguments before he ghosted you after you agreed to meet with him?
-Why did you break up?

You've already realized that responding to him and engaging in this conversation sets you back in your healing process. So, I would advise thoroughly cutting off all communication with your ex. 

I'm sure you have your faults, but the reality here is that he doesn't want the same things as you. It's best to let go of any hope or expectations of reconciliation and focus on yourself and your healing.

Right now, he knows you have more feelings for him than he does for you. So, he may continue to pop in and out of your life whenever he feels like it as long as you keep responding to him. But if you stop engaging with him altogether, this ends.