Should I just apply to university now where I am or wait to apply abroad?

[AnxiousCat]

Basically, I want to study abroad. I have a few countries in mind along with subjects I hope to handle. I hate living in this country and ever since I was young, I wanted out. My parents are moving out of this country soon once all my siblings apply for their higher education. However my grades didn't turn out well despite me resitting my year, mainly because I keep struggling with mental health issues. Therapy along with medication isn't helping me and I only really cope through my hobbies. I know studying abroad isn't easy and it won't be some fantasy where I'll be admired left and right. I need to learn the language and adapt to the environment around me. I know German already which I suppose can fit in where I want to study which is Germany or Austria, of course they share different dialects though. I can also study in my native country but I prefer not to.

In terms of plans though, I'm hoping to apply through fall semester or winter, doing the required exams they want of me. I know it's all horribly rushed though and I'm just not sure what to do. 

There is an option to squeeze through university here where I live but I just really don't want to apply even though Im a rock for brains. I don't have the grades for it anyway. Here I can only apply through a limited timeframe and then its over unlike in the abroad countries I mentioned. I don't really have the mindset to start already either.

I'm sorry this is stupid, I just need some advice. I'm really struggling. I'll delete my post probably later. 

[TeeDee]

This is not a good question for an international message board.  You will be better advice more specifically tailored to you if you ask your High School guidance counselors.  

[ShySoul]

4 hours ago, AnxiousCat said:

I don't really have the mindset to start already either.

If you mind and heart aren't set on something, don't do it. You won't be excitied and likely won't give your full self to it. Add in the mental health issues, and it probably won't be a good experience.

The most important thing is doing something you feel passionate about, something you are excited by and really want to learn or excel at. That will motivate you to put your best foot forward and really give it your all. So what is your passion? What hobby do you really enjoy? Let that be the starting point. Then research what you can do with that interest. Speak to a counselor to see if they can assist with not just school plans, but with outside activities related to what you are interested in doing or studying. And they can assist with the mental health as well.