Is it worth going to see a therapist?

[Beautiful-Love]

Hi, I haven't posted here in a very, very long while. Whenever I used to struggle through things, I would try to talk it out (with friends or online anonymously)... Now, I am a mother of 2 little young kids, and in my 30s I find myself still struggling with things I did in the past. 

I never thought I was depressed. And since I got pregnant with my first baby, I've experienced the postpartum depression. But then I left that stage. I still felt somewhat very, very down. 

 

To those that have gone to see an therapist.... is it worth a go? I think a lot of what I'm experiencing is really my inner struggles that affect my relationships with people and the way I see myself. And with less free time nowadays, and of course, more responsibilities in life, I get easily frustrated. I don't talk to my friends about everything the way I used to anymore. Most things I keep to myself, because through time I felt talking didn't really help me solve anything other than it making me feel better temporarily. 

And it's like yesterday I was driving to a family event. We got stuck in a terrible traffic. I was in the left lane and I could have gone to the car pool lane because it seemed like the only lane that was a lot faster and that could have helped me get to our destination so much faster. Instead, while I knew this was a solution, I decided I would just stay in the far left lane because of the double line, which means you're not supposed to cross, right? But as I was sitting there for 20 minutes I was also debating to myself that I should have just crossed over to the car pool lane anyway. Then somewhere in between, the car in front of me decided they would do just that -- they sped up into that car pool lane and left. While I didn't want to break the law, I felt I was too scared to take actions, which would have saved me time and helped me in that situation. 

That's just a situation. I feel like I'm afraid of taking chances sometimes. Afraid of failure. That's just ONE thing. I even had a vivid dream recently of me driving on a freeway to go to work, got distracted, and missed my exit...I kept driving until I came into a sudden stop and realized too late that I was driving into a cliff...and in the last second I jumped out... my car fell into the cliff and I got stuck on a huge rock overlooking the water below. I was shaking in the dream and couldn't jump back. In the meantime I heard footsteps approaching. It was getting dark and I didn't have good signal on my phone. I woke up with anxiety from that dream.

 

Can anyone tell me what their experiences going to see a therapist were like? And would u recommend it? 

[TeeDee]

I absolutely recommend it.  Therapy saved my life over & over. 

At first it's weird . . .talking to a stranger but when you think about getting naked in front of a regular doctor, it's less weird than that. 

It's a great outlet & you get good insights from a trained professional . . .something you can't get from friend.  Plus there aren't too many boundaries; you can say anything even if it's something you would not say in public.  

However you have to find the RIGHT therapist: someone in your insurance plan, who has openings, who you like & get along with.  A bad therapist is not helpful at all but it's OK to change.  When my last one retired I went through 4 others before I found the one I have now.  

[Seraphim]

Absolutely worth it. It saved my life and greatly reduced the symptoms of PTSD and anxiety that I do have . 

[ShySoul]

The one time I went to a therapist they proceeded to diagnosis a person with a personality disorder without ever having met or spoken with them, and advised me to do things that I knew would actually make me and everyone else involved in the issues that were going on feel worse. They spent they entire time talking to me instead of at me.

Most people will tell you that therapy is a great thing that helped them so much. And if it worked for them, good. If you believe it will help you, good. But it is not a magical solution that solves everything nor is it right for each person. Not everyone needs to therapy and for some people it can make them feel far worse. It can be a detriment to mental health as much as it can be beneficial.

You didn't cross double lines because it is illegal. It's not a sign that you couldn't have or that you need therapy. Not taking chances can sometimes be a good thing. Being cautious can be good and healthy. Better to not take a risk and be secure, then take risks and end up in danger.

Therapy also doesn't tell us anything we don't already know. These dreams are your own way of figuring out what you are thinking. It already raised in your mind the issue you are having. Why go to a therapist for an issue you already know? You are the one who has to resolve it within yourself. And you have the strength within you to do it all own your own.

This will be an unpopular opinion I'm sure. But there are two sides to every coin. Therapy may help, it may not. In the end, it's going to be you that gets you through this. And I believe in YOU. 

Good luck, and I hope you do what is right for you.

[ShySoul]

https://time.com/6308096/therapy-mental-health-worse-us/

Even as more people flock to therapy, U.S. mental health is getting worse by multiple metrics. Suicide rates have risen by about 30% since 2000. Almost a third of U.S. adults now report symptoms of either depression or anxiety, roughly three times as many as in 2019, and about one in 25 adults has a serious mental illness like bipolar disorder or schizophrenia. As of late 2022, just 31% of U.S. adults considered their mental health “excellent,” down from 43% two decades earlier.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/why-most-therapists-dangerous-bob-fancher-1

The knowledge base is weak in two different ways: within the professional disciplines therapists are trained to use, few of the standard beliefs have a very good scientific or scholarly basis; and the professional disciplines generally fail to address the wider issues, studied by other disciplines (like sociology, social psychology, anthropology, and history), that one simply must know to understand people’s lives. Thus, nearly all therapists work with a weak knowledge base of limited scope without knowing it.

[AuthenticSelf]

Before you go to the therapist, what are conditions you know going there is going to be successful? 

I think you should know what you want out of it first. Otherwise, you are wasting you money. I know someone going to a therapist for 20 years and their lives do not change a bit. 

[chess103]

yes it's worth it but no note that like all professions, there are going to be some bad ones. you want someone you click with but also a therapist who will challenge you at times.

I'm still going and though my personal life is still a mess, it helps to vent and gain perspective.

[shouldhavelearned]

Heard it both ways

All depends on who you see

[AuthenticSelf]

1 hour ago, chess103 said:

I'm still going and though my personal life is still a mess, it helps to vent and gain perspective.

They are designed to keep your personal life a mess. 

Otherwise, they can't charge you money. 

They may do it unconsciously. 

 

[ShySoul]

7 minutes ago, AuthenticSelf said:

They are designed to keep your personal life a mess. 

Otherwise, they can't charge you money. 

They may do it unconsciously. 

Don't think most of them want to keep your personal life a mess or are out for your money, consciously or not. Think it's more a case that the subjects covered don't have a clear and measurable answer.

If it's a physcial issue you can see what the problem is and how to fix it. The broken bone gets healed, the cancer gets treated. But how do you know when the broken heart is healed? How do you address depression? Physical means only dull it and is tempory. What may help one person could be the completely wrong thing to say to someone else. And it's ultimately up the individual going through it to figure out for themself.

There's too many variables and no real basis for being sure you are doing or saying the correct thing. It's a lot of guesswork and therapists can only do what they know, bringing in their own biases and believes into it. 

Some therapists might be good at relating to people, but others will be horrible. Some people may already know what is needed and not need much. Others take time to discover themselves and others never will, constantly going to therapy and never getting anywhere.

It's a high degree of randomness and chance involved - the right therapist, at the right time, saying the right thing, to the right person who is receptive to hearing it.

[chess103]

On 8/25/2024 at 7:41 PM, ShySoul said:

Don't think most of them want to keep your personal life a mess or are out for your money, consciously or not. Think it's more a case that the subjects covered don't have a clear and measurable answer.

If it's a physcial issue you can see what the problem is and how to fix it. The broken bone gets healed, the cancer gets treated. But how do you know when the broken heart is healed? How do you address depression? Physical means only dull it and is tempory. What may help one person could be the completely wrong thing to say to someone else. And it's ultimately up the individual going through it to figure out for themself.

There's too many variables and no real basis for being sure you are doing or saying the correct thing. It's a lot of guesswork and therapists can only do what they know, bringing in their own biases and believes into it. 

Some therapists might be good at relating to people, but others will be horrible. Some people may already know what is needed and not need much. Others take time to discover themselves and others never will, constantly going to therapy and never getting anywhere.

It's a high degree of randomness and chance involved - the right therapist, at the right time, saying the right thing, to the right person who is receptive to hearing it.

good points. I've been going off and on for many years and the human psyche is very complex and often individualized.

[Coily]

It really depends.

Therapy can be very helpful if you are trying to resolve specific issues and have goals in mind. For others it's almost detrimental, when there is a cycle of the therapist looking at you like a piggy bank.

A good therapist will want to help you get the tools you needs and get you on your way. A bad one will want you and your insurance on the hook for as long as they can. So go in not expecting a magic bullet, that many think it is.

I have sat through enough conferences for therapists to feel a little jaded about the industry. When there is more emphasis on how to maximize insurance covered therapy and how to throw pills at a patient, rather than developing new tools to help clients; I am a bit reserved.

That said, I think if you look around and find the right fit, you can get a lot of tools to help. Don't be afraid, but also don't just blindly listen to someone with a paper nailed to a wall.

[TeeDee]

One of the things I want / need is info about how to handle something.  Over the years I have learned to self soothe.  But sometimes when things get too overwhelming I like having somebody else to lean on / vent to.  

[SooSad33]

On 8/23/2024 at 7:50 AM, Beautiful-Love said:

To those that have gone to see an therapist.... is it worth a go? I think a lot of what I'm experiencing is really my inner struggles that affect my relationships with people and the way I see myself. And with less free time nowadays, and of course, more responsibilities in life, I get easily frustrated. I don't talk to my friends about everything the way I used to anymore. Most things I keep to myself, because through time I felt talking didn't really help me solve anything other than it making me feel better temporarily. 

Yes! I've gone many times thru my years . Is best when you do actually feel 'comfortable' with this person.

I feel that you may be feeling like you're just getting a little too overwhelmed with the demands of life and may be kind of losing yourself 😕 .  Which is why I always say now, it IS important to remember 'Self care' ❤️ .

Therapy for me, helped me work through my issues. It takes time though. At one point, I went to group therapy and one on one, over a 4 yr time span.

I stil have some challenges, as they don't all just disappear, but I know it has helped 🙂 .

As I mentioned, self care.  It is okay to chill when kids are in bed, go take a relaxing hot bath and get lost in your tunes for a while.. or watch your fave shows or do a craft, etc.  Even if you can arrange a sitter once in a while and get out now & then.  Go out with a friend for a meal or coffee. 

It's also good to learn your 'limits'.  Healthy boundaries. Some people drain us too much 😕 .  Negative or demanding energies.  We need to learn how to limit ourselves around these people.  Don't always make yourself available, etc. Anyways, in time you'll learn 😉 .

One day at a time.